Well, isn’t this just a heartwarming moment wrapped in a paradox. Joe Biden is thankful for a peaceful transition? A peaceful transition? In what universe did that happen? Because the last time I checked, the transfer of power was about as peaceful as a cat in a bathtub.
I mean, let’s get this straight. After months of chaos, lawsuits, and enough conspiracy theories to fuel a decade of sci-fi movies, we’re supposed to believe that the transition was smooth? That’s like calling a hurricane a light drizzle.
But hey, maybe I’m missing something. Maybe in some alternate reality, the outgoing administration handed over the keys with a smile and a fruit basket. Perhaps they even left a nice little note: “Good luck fixing the mess we left behind!”
And let’s not forget the grand finale on January 6th. You know, when a mob stormed the Capitol because they were so excited about democracy. Nothing says peaceful transition like setting up a guillotine on the Capitol lawn.
But sure, Joe, let’s be thankful. Maybe gratitude is the new coping mechanism. “Thank you for the peaceful transition, and thank you for the migraines that came with it.”
It’s like thanking a thief for only stealing half your stuff. “Oh, you took the TV but left the toaster? How considerate!”
But perhaps Biden is just trying to set a tone of unity. Maybe he’s extending an olive branch, hoping that we can all just hold hands and sing Kumbaya. Because if there’s one thing that brings people together, it’s pretending that everything’s fine when the house is on fire.
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate optimism. But there’s a fine line between optimism and delusion. And that line is currently doing the limbo under a bar set at “peaceful transition.”
Let’s be honest. The transition was about as peaceful as a boxing match. Gloves were off, punches were thrown, and we’re all left with a black eye. But sure, let’s call it peaceful because no one set off fireworks indoors.
Maybe next time, we can aim for an actual peaceful transition. One where the outgoing president doesn’t need to be coaxed out of the White House like a teenager refusing to leave their room. “Come on, Donny, it’s time to go. No, you can’t keep Air Force One.”
In the meantime, let’s be “thankful.” Thankful that we survived, that the Constitution held up, and that we didn’t end up reenacting the finale of every dystopian movie ever made. Because if 2020 taught us anything, it’s that the bar for gratitude has been significantly lowered.
So here’s to the “peaceful transition,” whatever that means these days. Let’s hope the next one doesn’t involve barricades and a National Guard presence. Or maybe that’s just the new normal, and I’m the crazy one for expecting otherwise.
