Let’s talk about Texas, where everything is bigger: the hats, the trucks, and apparently, the audacity. Yes, Texas has decided that even basic human biology needs to pass through their moral filter. Oh, you’re pregnant and something’s gone terribly wrong? Too bad! We’ve got principles! Principles so righteous that they leave actual, living human beings gasping for air.
Welcome to the dystopia where a miscarriage isn’t just a tragic medical event—it’s a bureaucratic nightmare that ends with the Grim Reaper filling out your discharge papers. Porsha Ngumezi’s story, for example, is a masterclass in the consequences of replacing medical expertise with moral posturing. She suffered a miscarriage and then, thanks to Texas’ brilliantly conceived abortion ban, received zero medical intervention. Instead, she was sent home with what? A prayer? An inspirational quote? Perhaps a pamphlet that says, “Hang in there, kid!”
Nope. She got sepsis. You know, that thing where your body says, “Oh, you’re not going to fix this? Cool, I’ll just start shutting down organs for fun.” And by the time someone decided that maybe her life mattered, it was too late.
How did we get here? Oh, right—because Texas lawmakers saw “The Handmaid’s Tale” and thought, This would make an excellent tourism campaign! They took a system that already barely functioned for women and then added layers of red tape so thick, you could use it as insulation in one of those $3 million Austin condos.
The Absurd Logic of “Pro-Life”
Here’s where it gets rich. The same people shouting “pro-life” at every opportunity are the ones shrugging their shoulders when actual lives are lost due to these bans. But don’t worry—Texas has an answer. They’ve got exceptions. Exceptions so vague and useless that they might as well be written in crayon.
An exception to save the mother’s life? Sure, that sounds great until you realize no doctor wants to test that line in court. Imagine a physician standing over a woman, chart in hand, saying, “Well, she’s 75% dead. I guess I can intervene now, right?” No, Doc, better wait until she’s 95% dead just to be safe. Wouldn’t want the district attorney knocking on your door.
This is where we are. A state so proud of its medical innovation that it’s turned ERs into escape rooms. Solve this puzzle: What’s the exact percentage of dying required to not get sued? And hurry—your patient is bleeding out.
Medical Care by Morality Police
Doctors are terrified, women are dying, and legislators are patting themselves on the back. It’s like watching a three-ring circus where the clowns are also the fire marshals. The whole thing is a disaster, except no one’s laughing—because people like Porsha don’t get to go home.
Let’s get something straight: This isn’t about protecting life. This is about control. If it were about life, then Texas would be funding prenatal care, providing affordable healthcare, and maybe—just maybe—offering paid parental leave. Instead, they slap a Band-Aid on a bullet wound and call it compassion. Sorry your pregnancy went sideways, but don’t worry—we’re building a statue for the unborn. That should fix everything.
The Texas Two-Step of Hypocrisy
Here’s the kicker: these bans aren’t just killing women—they’re forcing doctors to play a game of chicken with the legal system. You’ve got obstetricians furiously Googling case law in the middle of a medical emergency. “Let me just check Westlaw real quick to see if I can save this patient.” Oh wait, there’s no Wi-Fi in the ER. Guess she’s out of luck.
And then there’s the cherry on this hypocritical sundae: the very people screaming “small government” are suddenly in favor of turning hospitals into morality courts. Remember when Republicans wanted government to stay out of your life? Yeah, neither do they. Because apparently, it’s fine to regulate uteruses like they’re a restricted airspace.
Hope in the Chaos?
If there’s one bright spot in this flaming dumpster fire, it’s the sheer resilience of people who still care. Groups are mobilizing to challenge these laws, doctors are risking their careers to do the right thing, and women are finding ways to advocate for themselves in a system designed to crush them. But let’s not pretend this is enough.
We shouldn’t have to rely on underground networks and whispered advice to get basic healthcare. This isn’t the Middle Ages. Women shouldn’t have to cross state lines like they’re escaping from Alcatraz just to get medical attention.
The Moral of the Story (Spoiler: There Isn’t One)
Porsha Ngumezi’s death isn’t just a tragedy. It’s a glaring indictment of a system that prioritizes ideology over humanity. And if you think this doesn’t affect you, congratulations on your delusion. Because when women can’t access medical care, society falls apart.
So here’s a message for Texas lawmakers: You’ve created a dystopia so bleak that even Orwell would look at it and say, “Too much.” Maybe it’s time to stop legislating based on your interpretation of the Bible and start listening to actual medical professionals. Or don’t—just keep stacking up the lawsuits and body bags. At least then, the rest of the country will know what not to do.
