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Assassination by Deductible: When Healthcare Gets Personal

December 5, 2024December 5, 2024

It’s not every day that the words “UnitedHealthcare CEO” and “vendetta assassination” share the same headline. Let me tell you something, folks: when corporate America starts looking like the plot of a third-rate mob movie, you know we’ve crossed into uncharted territory. This isn’t just your run-of-the-mill absurdity; this is

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Trump vs. Tech Titans: Because Regular Chaos Wasn’t Enough

December 5, 2024December 5, 2024

Every day in America feels like a new season of a reality show that nobody asked for. This week’s episode? Trump versus the Billionaire Boys Club. That’s right, we’ve got Bezos, Zuckerberg, Musk, and the rest of the Silicon Valley Avengers in one corner and Trump’s regulatory circus in the

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Immigration Panic! Or How I Learned to Stop Thinking and Love the Deportation

December 5, 2024December 5, 2024

The latest news on Trump-era deportation policies makes me wonder if we’re all stuck in some alternate universe where logic has been traded for Monopoly money and outrage is the national pastime. Seriously, what’s the plan here? Round up everyone who didn’t handwrite the Constitution in cursive? Deportation as a

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Macron, Le Pen, and the Art of the French Government Faceplant

December 5, 2024December 5, 2024

Not sure if you heard, but late yesterday France collapsed. Let me explain. France, a country that gave the world wine and cheese has an inability to keep its government standing for longer than a teenager’s TikTok attention span. It’s not just falling apart. Oh no, it’s doing it with

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Horns, Homework, and Hellfire: America’s Latest School Drama

December 4, 2024December 5, 2024

Well, it’s official. We’ve reached the point in society where a group calling themselves The Satanic Temple is offering after-school programs to elementary school kids. This is not a joke. We’re not talking about a shady email scam or a plotline from a rejected Netflix series. Nope. This is real

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Oversight Committee or WWE SmackDown? AOC Enters the Ring

December 4, 2024December 5, 2024

Let’s dive into the latest episode of Congressional Dysfunction, starring Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who is reportedly considering a bid for the powerful House Oversight Committee. Now, before you roll your eyes and clutch your pearls—because God forbid anyone under 40 have ambitions—let’s unpack what this means. Or, better yet, let’s unravel

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Tucker Carlson: America’s Unqualified Human Resources Department

December 4, 2024

Let me tell you something. This Tucker Carlson-Trump duo might be the greatest circus act since Barnum realized people would pay good money to see a guy stick his head in a lion’s mouth. But instead of a lion, it’s democracy, and instead of sticking their heads in, they’re gleefully

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Job Market’s Hot, Wallet’s Empty: Welcome to Capitalism!

December 3, 2024December 3, 2024

Oh, the job market is booming. Inflation is cooling. And we’re all supposed to stand here, clapping like seals in the middle of a circus act where the tightrope walker is wearing roller skates. Sure, the numbers look good on paper—if you squint, tilt your head, and take a shot

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About

I’m Darren and I created Democrawonk.com as a platform dishing out satirical commentary on the political circus we call current events.

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