Let me get this straight. Joe Manchin, our favorite political weather vane, thinks President Biden should pardon Donald Trump. Because nothing says “justice” like giving a free pass to the guy who tried to bulldoze democracy with a golf cart. I mean, why stop there? Maybe we should pardon everyone. Let’s throw open the prison doors and have a national block party. Who needs accountability when you can have a barbecue?
Manchin says it’s about healing the nation. Ah yes, healing. Like putting a band-aid on a broken leg. Or using duct tape to fix a sinking ship. Pardon me if I’m a bit skeptical that absolving the man who turned the Oval Office into his personal reality show is the cure for our divisions.
This isn’t a paper cut we’re dealing with; it’s a gaping wound. And you don’t heal it by pretending the knife isn’t still in there. Trump didn’t just step on our toes; he danced all over the Constitution in golf cleats. And now Manchin wants to offer him a get-out-of-jail-free card, as if this is some twisted game of Monopoly.
But let’s talk about unity. Because apparently, unity means letting bygones be bygones. Let’s all hold hands and sing kumbaya while the arsonist walks free, matches still in his pocket. Sure, that’ll bring us together—right before we collectively bang our heads against the nearest wall.
Manchin argues that a pardon would remove Trump’s influence over the GOP. Oh, brilliant! Because giving someone a pardon has always made them quietly fade into the sunset. Just ask Richard Nixon—oh wait, he didn’t exactly disappear, did he? And Trump? The man thrives on attention like a plant on sunlight. Give him a pardon, and he’ll use it as proof that he was right all along.
And what message does that send? That if you’re powerful enough, the rules don’t apply to you. That you can incite an insurrection, mishandle classified information, and still get a pat on the back and a clean slate. It’s like telling a toddler who colored on the walls, “It’s okay, we won’t punish you. In fact, here’s a bigger crayon.”
Justice isn’t about convenience, Joe. It’s not a buffet where you pick what feels good and leave the rest. Accountability is the cornerstone of democracy. Without it, we’re just a group of people standing in the same place, wondering why everything’s on fire.
Perhaps Manchin is trying to appeal to some mythical middle ground. A place where unicorns roam, and bipartisan rainbows shine all day. But here’s a newsflash: that place doesn’t exist. Not when one side is clinging to conspiracy theories like they’re life rafts on the Titanic.
Maybe Manchin is worried about setting a precedent. That prosecuting a former president is uncharted territory. Well, you know what else is uncharted? A president attempting to overturn an election. We’re already off the map, folks. Time to grab a compass, not close our eyes and hope for the best.
In the end, a pardon wouldn’t heal wounds; it would pour salt in them. It would tell every future leader that the highest office comes with a golden parachute, no matter how hard you crash the plane. And that, my friends, is a turbulence we can’t afford.
So, Joe, thanks for the suggestion, but no thanks. Let’s focus on justice, accountability, and maybe—just maybe—keeping the foundations of democracy intact. Because pardoning Trump isn’t just a bad idea; it’s the worst idea since New Coke.
