Well, it’s official. We’ve reached the point in society where a group calling themselves The Satanic Temple is offering after-school programs to elementary school kids. This is not a joke. We’re not talking about a shady email scam or a plotline from a rejected Netflix series. Nope. This is real
Category: Today’s News
Let’s dive into the latest episode of Congressional Dysfunction, starring Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who is reportedly considering a bid for the powerful House Oversight Committee. Now, before you roll your eyes and clutch your pearls—because God forbid anyone under 40 have ambitions—let’s unpack what this means. Or, better yet, let’s unravel
In the grand theater of American politics, where logic takes a back seat to spectacle, President-elect Donald Trump has gifted us yet another head-scratcher. His nominee for Director of National Intelligence is none other than Tulsi Gabbard. You know, Tulsi. The former Democratic Congresswoman from Hawaii who served in the
The Supreme Court—our nation’s highest-ranking collection of legal minds and powdered wigs without the wigs—is back in the business of telling people how to live their lives. This time, it’s gender-affirming care for trans kids. Because, apparently, in the year 2024, adults need to convene in marble halls and deliberate
So, the Democrats pulled it off—they flipped the last House seat, probably with the kind of effort that makes a NASA moon landing look like a middle school science fair. And now, they’ve got control. Control! A word that, in American politics, means about as much as the little “Close
Let’s talk about Pete Hegseth, shall we? The man is like a firecracker in a room full of toddlers—unpredictable, loud, and guaranteed to cause some kind of damage. The latest revelation? His colleagues are worried about his drinking. Worried. That’s a hell of a word, isn’t it? Like when your
Imagine a man who has spent decades perfecting the art of the political shakedown. Picture him standing on the Senate floor, shaking his head in mock disappointment like your least favorite gym teacher. Mitch McConnell—the human embodiment of a shrug and a smirk—is now accusing Democrats of playing political games.
The latest pearl of wisdom from the political seas comes courtesy of Mitch McConnell, the Senate Minority Leader with the charisma of a soggy saltine. McConnell recently criticized a federal judge for retiring at the ripe old age of 95. Ninety-five! Let me put this in perspective for you: this
Well, well, well, America, here we are standing in a puddle of our own hypocrisy, scratching our heads, and pretending we don’t smell it. Let’s talk about the Department of Labor’s latest move to phase out the subminimum wage for disabled workers. Yes, you heard that right. It took us
Well, look who just got re-elected—again. Senate Democrats have decided that Chuck Schumer is the gift that keeps on giving. Because nothing says “fresh and innovative leadership“ like hitting the replay button on the same old track. I mean, why rock the boat with new ideas when you can just