Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
The Breakdown
Let’s make something perfectly clear here, folks. Columbia University Protests Over Gaza War Continue and Spread to Other Campuses – you know we’re in for some education with a side of chaos when the hallowed halls of Columbia reverberate with the chant, “What do we want? Peace! When do we want it? After disrupting this lecture!”
- Campus Tour de Force
- Those red brick pathways have become the treadmills of dissent. While most students are worried about the Freshman 15, it appears the only weight being lifted here is the weight of the world—quite literally, as students seem determined to lift the Gaza conflict onto their already-crushing student loan debts.
- Those red brick pathways have become the treadmills of dissent. While most students are worried about the Freshman 15, it appears the only weight being lifted here is the weight of the world—quite literally, as students seem determined to lift the Gaza conflict onto their already-crushing student loan debts.
- Ivy League? More Like Protest League
- You know your university’s got clout when the protest you started becomes the hottest trend since those hoverboards. They’re not just teaching Economics 101 over there—they’re offering a full course meal on Revolutionary Uproar, with a focus on how to make your camping equipment double as a picket sign.
- You know your university’s got clout when the protest you started becomes the hottest trend since those hoverboards. They’re not just teaching Economics 101 over there—they’re offering a full course meal on Revolutionary Uproar, with a focus on how to make your camping equipment double as a picket sign.
- Studious Disobedience
- The books are open, but instead of academic citations, students are trading protest sites. Apparently, the Columbia library is less a place of quiet study and more a headquarters for organizing a march. I mean, who needs to check out a book when you can check into the latest rally point?
- The books are open, but instead of academic citations, students are trading protest sites. Apparently, the Columbia library is less a place of quiet study and more a headquarters for organizing a march. I mean, who needs to check out a book when you can check into the latest rally point?
- Social Media: The Megaphone of Dissent
- In this age of instant viral content, when a protest starts to trend, it’s like somewhere, a marketing exec is shedding a single, proud tear. Each Instagram story and Tweet is like a digital war cry, complete with a Valencia filter and a catchy hashtag.
- In this age of instant viral content, when a protest starts to trend, it’s like somewhere, a marketing exec is shedding a single, proud tear. Each Instagram story and Tweet is like a digital war cry, complete with a Valencia filter and a catchy hashtag.
- The Fraternal Bonds of Unrest
- It shows real unity when even the fraternities decide that keggers are better with a cause. Between beer pong matches, they’re discussing geopolitical conflict. Who knew that “Shot for shot!” would become a rallying cry for both tequila and political advocacy?
- It shows real unity when even the fraternities decide that keggers are better with a cause. Between beer pong matches, they’re discussing geopolitical conflict. Who knew that “Shot for shot!” would become a rallying cry for both tequila and political advocacy?
The Counter
- Students? Or Part-Time Politicians?
- After all, nothing complements a degree like a robust extracurricular in international diplomacy. Can someone remind them there might be a midterm tomorrow? Or is that just going to be on the history of protest chants?
- After all, nothing complements a degree like a robust extracurricular in international diplomacy. Can someone remind them there might be a midterm tomorrow? Or is that just going to be on the history of protest chants?
- Yoga Pants: The Uniform of the Outraged
- Who needs signs when you have form-fitting, eco-friendly fashion screaming your stance? Yes, the yoga pant brigade is here, marrying the art of Downward Dog with the fist of defiance.
- Who needs signs when you have form-fitting, eco-friendly fashion screaming your stance? Yes, the yoga pant brigade is here, marrying the art of Downward Dog with the fist of defiance.
- The Inconvenience Committee
- We must praise the students for their commitment to inconveniencing as many people as possible—this is, of course, Lesson 1 in the protestors’ manual. Your inability to get to class on time is their badge of honor.
- We must praise the students for their commitment to inconveniencing as many people as possible—this is, of course, Lesson 1 in the protestors’ manual. Your inability to get to class on time is their badge of honor.
- Irony 101
- Is there anything more ironically delightful than witnessing future leaders of America skipping their Leadership Skills seminar to argue with a police barricade?
- Is there anything more ironically delightful than witnessing future leaders of America skipping their Leadership Skills seminar to argue with a police barricade?
- Hashtag Activism
- You haven’t truly experienced a protest until you’ve scrolled through the social media feed. Movements now measured in ‘likes’ and ‘retweets’—this generation really has their finger on the pulse (of their phones).
- You haven’t truly experienced a protest until you’ve scrolled through the social media feed. Movements now measured in ‘likes’ and ‘retweets’—this generation really has their finger on the pulse (of their phones).
The Hot Take
Here’s what I’m thinking, in a trademark volcanic eruption: if we want to tackle the serious issue of global conflict mirrored by this beautiful tapestry of college dissent, perhaps we should start teaching “Global Conflict Resolution” as a mandatory class.
It’s tucked right after yoga but before your “How to Make Ramen Taste Less Like Cardboard” elective. Let’s equip these fiery young spirits with more than just a trending hashtag. Let’s give them the tools to not only protest but to propose some real solutions while they’re still half-asleep in their 8 AM classes.
Now, listen closely—because I’m only going to say this once, and I’ve got laryngitis from shouting over the protestors on my way in: every student shall be issued a megaphone, not to amplify their slogans, but to ensure their voices are equally hoarse when discussing solutions. And every debate should be settled with Rock, Paper, Scissors—democracy in its purest form, and with a lot less filibustering.
Source: Columbia University Protests Over Gaza War Continue and Spread to Other Campuses
