Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
In a tale that spins with more twists than a daytime soap opera, The Daily Beast presents a riveting exposition on how the Enquirer, a publication as subtle as a sledgehammer on wafer-thin ice, managed to betray both a Mafia Don and Donald Trump in the same breath.
This sordid affair of double-crosses begins with the Enquirer getting its mitts dirty by digging into seedy stories and ends with them selling out their souls for a scoop. Essentially, it’s the journalistic equivalent of watching someone juggle grenades over a tinderbox — it makes you want to look away, but you just can’t.
The Breakdown
- A Betrayal of BFFs: Trump, the Don, and their Lovechild, the Enquirer
- Let’s get this straight. The Enquirer, Trump’s not-so-secret admirer, turned its back on him? That’s like a shark turning vegan. They spent years puffing up his ego only to pop it when it got too big even for their circus tent. Pity the paper, folks; they just wanted a different clown for their next act.
- Let’s get this straight. The Enquirer, Trump’s not-so-secret admirer, turned its back on him? That’s like a shark turning vegan. They spent years puffing up his ego only to pop it when it got too big even for their circus tent. Pity the paper, folks; they just wanted a different clown for their next act.
- Fake News Factory Goes Premium with Mafia Exclusive
- You thought the Enquirer was just about alien baby daddies and Elvis sightings? Think again! They leaked secrets about a Mafia Don. Essentially, they swapped the alien autopsy files for something with a bit more, shall we say, concrete shoes. Now that’s what I call upgrading to a premium drama package.
- You thought the Enquirer was just about alien baby daddies and Elvis sightings? Think again! They leaked secrets about a Mafia Don. Essentially, they swapped the alien autopsy files for something with a bit more, shall we say, concrete shoes. Now that’s what I call upgrading to a premium drama package.
- Diplomacy, Shmiplomacy! Let’s Just Publish and Be Damned
- The reliable discretion of a tabloid journalist is like counting on whiskey to quench thirst — disastrous at best. Betraying the trust of your friendly neighborhood mafia and a former president? I’d say get ready, because those skeletons aren’t just coming out of the closet, they are bursting through the door.
- The reliable discretion of a tabloid journalist is like counting on whiskey to quench thirst — disastrous at best. Betraying the trust of your friendly neighborhood mafia and a former president? I’d say get ready, because those skeletons aren’t just coming out of the closet, they are bursting through the door.
- Who Needs Enemies When You Have The Enquirer?
- Here’s a journal that takes the phrase ‘frenemy’ to another level. They nurture you with one hand and slap you with the other. Honestly, it would be safer to eat soup with a chainsaw than to trust these guys with your secrets.
- Here’s a journal that takes the phrase ‘frenemy’ to another level. They nurture you with one hand and slap you with the other. Honestly, it would be safer to eat soup with a chainsaw than to trust these guys with your secrets.
- Ethics? I Thought You Said Edits!
- The ethical playbook for The Enquirer seems about as thick as a napkin scribble. Their moral compass wouldn’t find north in the Arctic. It’s the kind of ethics that teaches ‘doing the right thing’ in a course of ‘How to Make Friends and Influence People by Spilling Their Guts’.
- The ethical playbook for The Enquirer seems about as thick as a napkin scribble. Their moral compass wouldn’t find north in the Arctic. It’s the kind of ethics that teaches ‘doing the right thing’ in a course of ‘How to Make Friends and Influence People by Spilling Their Guts’.
The Counter
- Oscar for Best Drama?
- These are real lives we’re messing with, folks! But hey, when you’ve handled more stories about aliens than NASA, a mafia don slapstick turns into just another Tuesday at the office.
- These are real lives we’re messing with, folks! But hey, when you’ve handled more stories about aliens than NASA, a mafia don slapstick turns into just another Tuesday at the office.
- Honestly, We Thought It Was Off The Record
- Betray a mafia don without repercussions? Either they knew something we didn’t, or their legal advisor has been watching too much ‘Suits’. Time to get a new script!
- Betray a mafia don without repercussions? Either they knew something we didn’t, or their legal advisor has been watching too much ‘Suits’. Time to get a new script!
- It’s Not Gossip If It’s Newsworthy
- Sure, delete ‘integrity’ from the dictionary because clearly we’re not using that word here anymore. If it’s salacious and can sell, it’s front-page material, ethics be damned.
- Sure, delete ‘integrity’ from the dictionary because clearly we’re not using that word here anymore. If it’s salacious and can sell, it’s front-page material, ethics be damned.
- Presidential Seal of Approval Not Required
- Who needs the thumbs-up from the high towers when you can just aim straight for the gutters? Clearly, the Enquirer thinks presidential friendships are overrated.
- Who needs the thumbs-up from the high towers when you can just aim straight for the gutters? Clearly, the Enquirer thinks presidential friendships are overrated.
- We Thought This Was How Friendship Works
- What’s a little backstabbing among friends? Share a little, leak a lot and who knows, maybe even snag a Pulitzer in the process. Or maybe just a swift kick to the credibility.
- What’s a little backstabbing among friends? Share a little, leak a lot and who knows, maybe even snag a Pulitzer in the process. Or maybe just a swift kick to the credibility.
The Hot Take
Alright, alright, so the world’s a stage and The Enquirer might just be trying to play Shakespeare with the ethics of journalism shuffled somewhere between a tragedy and a farce. Here’s a hot take: maybe, just maybe, if tabloids focused on real journalism instead of spinning yarns that would make Rumpelstiltskin blush, we could start treating them seriously again.
Start by keeping the Mafia and presidents in the news for the right reasons — not because it’s Tuesday and sales are slow. And journalists, remember when you had to research before you wrote? Let’s bring that back. Maybe then we’ll see a headline worth saving for something other than wrapping fish.
Source: How the Enquirer Betrayed a Mafia Don and the Donald
