DeSantis Declares War on Homelessness: Throws Shade Instead of Solutions

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

It’s no great secret that America’s sunny home for the rich and famous, California, also hosts an epic, harrowing saga of homelessness. And who better to point out the glaringly obvious than Florida’s very own Governor, Ron DeSantis? Yes, folks, DeSantis has blasted California for its homeless problem, and in doing so, has graciously given me, the perpetually irate comedian ,the ammo needed for today’s roast session.

The Breakdown

1. Biting the Hand that Feeds You
   DeSantis, in a stroke of pure and unadulterated genius, decides to bite the hand that feeds an overwhelming number of electoral votes by criticizing California. Because, when you’re living in the glass house that is Florida – the land of bath salts and alligators in swimming pools – you throw stones, damn it!
   
   
2. Mr. Pot, Meet Mr. Kettle
   Addressing California’s homeless problem from the sanctity of Florida is kind of like a skunk telling a raccoon it stinks. It reeks of a certain eau de “look in your own backyard”, or should we say “your own swampy Everglades” before going on the offense.
   
   
3. The Hollywood Effect
   I love it when politicians use the glitz and glam of Hollywood as a backdrop for societal issues, because nothing says “I care about the homeless” quite like railing against them in the shadow of the Hollywood sign. It’s probably just a wild pitch to appeal to our collective outrage encyclopedia.
   
   
4. Throwing Stones in the Glasshouse of Governance
   Oh, the joy of seeing a politician criticizing another state’s issues as if their own house is perfectly in order. Next, we might hear that DeSantis is concerned about the quality of French cheese or the abundance of koalas in Australia.
   
   
5. Tourism Trumps Homelessness
   Ron, the ever-astute observer of social woes, may have a point: tourists hate seeing homelessness almost as much as they hate seeing the attractions they actually came for. Clearly, the sight of people in need ruins the illusion that America is a shining city upon a hill – or at least, that California is a shining strip mall on a fault line.
   
   

The Counter

1. The Sunshine Double Standard
   You gotta love Florida’s unique brand of hypocrisy – proudly standing as a paradise for retirees while being conveniently hospitable to homeless populations. Their state flower should be a chameleon, the way they change their stance on social issues.
   
   
2. Dish It Out But Can’t Take It
   DeSantis might be onto something critiquing other places. After all, if you can’t stomach a little self-reflection, just pivot to baseless accusations. Next up: DeSantis critiques the dark side of the moon for lacking sunlight.
   
   
3. Florida Man to Rescue
   Never fear, Florida Man is here – the same headline-grabbing emblem of bizarre antics – graciously serving up lessons on about as much as a woodpecker teaches us about dentistry.
   
   
4. Selective Blindness is 20/20
   We’ve heard of selective hearing, but the Governor’s got selective blindness down to an art. It’s a magical ability that only shows him the unpleasant in others’ yards, while his own is faithfully ignored.
   
   
5. Let’s Talk About That Alligator in the Room
   Before DeSantis gets all uppity about California’s homeless problem, perhaps addressing the alligator in the room – Florida’s very own myriad of issues – would be a more prudent starting point.
   
   

The Hot Take

Ah, let us bask in the warm glow of political finger-pointing. Isn’t it just cozy? The issue of homelessness, while no laughing matter, becomes the punchline to a joke that’s been overplayed on repeat. Now, if you ask me for a liberal hot take, how about we stop poking fun at states that have problems which every major city face and get real?

How about investing in mental health services, affordable housing, and actually tackling the root causes of homelessness like inequality and neglect? But then again, that kind of talk might just be too sensible for today’s headlines. And sensible doesn’t get you on the front page – or get stand-up comedians like me gigs.

So let’s fix the problem with a little bit of good ol’ common sense, wrapped in a blanket of humor, because without a laugh, we might just cry. And I’ve got enough on my plate without adding “tear-wiper” to my resume.

Source: Ron DeSantis Blasts California’s Homeless Problem