Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Let’s fasten our virtual seatbelts and strap in as humanity, being not content with AI meddling in our kitchen appliances and cars, now decides to hurl the boastful brainiac into the final frontier — space. This fantastic piece grazes upon how the space industry, with all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop, is racing to boost AI up into our starry skies. From AI navigating satellites to possibly answering the million-dollar question of whether a black hole really is just a cosmic drain, let’s dig into what exactly these geeks are plotting.
The Breakdown
- AI in Orbit: The Genius Baby Goes to Space Camp
- Because apparently, letting AI drive us around here on Earth wasn’t enough, now they want AI behind the wheel of multimillion-dollar space taxis. The people up top fancy that AI will handle complex operations like sky-netting (no, not that Skynet) satellite networks or scanning cosmic debris without throwing a tantrum.
- Because apparently, letting AI drive us around here on Earth wasn’t enough, now they want AI behind the wheel of multimillion-dollar space taxis. The people up top fancy that AI will handle complex operations like sky-netting (no, not that Skynet) satellite networks or scanning cosmic debris without throwing a tantrum.
- Laser Beams and Algorithms: Pew-Pew Meets High IQ
- What could go wrong, right? Merging lasers (yes, pew-pew lasers) with AI to better track objects in space proves that someone’s been watching too much Sci-Fi. This will supposedly lead to better management of space traffic because AI allegedly doesn’t sleep, or plot intergalactic domination — yet.
- What could go wrong, right? Merging lasers (yes, pew-pew lasers) with AI to better track objects in space proves that someone’s been watching too much Sci-Fi. This will supposedly lead to better management of space traffic because AI allegedly doesn’t sleep, or plot intergalactic domination — yet.
- Weather Forecasts on Mars? No Problem!
- Weather forecasting has barely been accurate on Earth but sure, let’s take that show on the road — or rather, to another planet. AI is expected to analyze atmospheric data so we can finally know if a sunny day on Mars means higher temperatures than your freezer’s typical output.
- Weather forecasting has barely been accurate on Earth but sure, let’s take that show on the road — or rather, to another planet. AI is expected to analyze atmospheric data so we can finally know if a sunny day on Mars means higher temperatures than your freezer’s typical output.
- Data Overload: Because We Need More Junk in Our Trunk
- The ambition is to harness AI for processing heaps of data from space missions, because humans reading data was so 20th century. Apparently, these AI whizzes can sift through space junk data faster than we can swipe left on a dating app.
- The ambition is to harness AI for processing heaps of data from space missions, because humans reading data was so 20th century. Apparently, these AI whizzes can sift through space junk data faster than we can swipe left on a dating app.
- Black Hole Selfies: Cosmic Narcissism at Its Finest
- To cap it off, AI might one day help us understand black holes, using gravity wave detections and other jazz, because nothing screams innovation like trying to capture a selfie with the universe’s most mysterious monster.
- To cap it off, AI might one day help us understand black holes, using gravity wave detections and other jazz, because nothing screams innovation like trying to capture a selfie with the universe’s most mysterious monster.
The Counter
- AI Smart Enough to Leave Us Behind
- At this rate, AI will realize it’s too intelligent to hang around us and just bolt off into the cosmos, sending postcards of black holes and exoplanets, possibly with, “Wish you were here (but glad you’re not).”
- At this rate, AI will realize it’s too intelligent to hang around us and just bolt off into the cosmos, sending postcards of black holes and exoplanets, possibly with, “Wish you were here (but glad you’re not).”
- What’s Laser Accuracy to a Tech Glitch?
- Someone’s probably underestimating the sheer comedic error potential of technology when your AI-controlled satellite decides to laser-point at the wrong space rock, or worse, an alien spacecraft. Peace Treaty, here we come!
- Someone’s probably underestimating the sheer comedic error potential of technology when your AI-controlled satellite decides to laser-point at the wrong space rock, or worse, an alien spacecraft. Peace Treaty, here we come!
- Martian Weather with a Chance of Mechanical Errors
- Given the frequent “unexpected showers” forecast on a clear day here, imagine the screw-ups possible on Mars. Spoiler: it’s probably cold. You’re welcome.
- Given the frequent “unexpected showers” forecast on a clear day here, imagine the screw-ups possible on Mars. Spoiler: it’s probably cold. You’re welcome.
- Data Overload Isn’t a Bug, It’s a Feature
- More data processed by AI means more opportunities to find errors we can’t explain but will pretend to understand in meetings and TED Talks. “Yes, that irregular blip represents… erm… innovative disruptions in… spacetime… thingamajigs.”
- More data processed by AI means more opportunities to find errors we can’t explain but will pretend to understand in meetings and TED Talks. “Yes, that irregular blip represents… erm… innovative disruptions in… spacetime… thingamajigs.”
- Black Holes: Because We’ve Fixed Everything on Earth
- Surely, our fascination with black holes must stem from having absolutely everything figured out at home, right? Poverty, disease, global warming—who needs solutions for those when you’ve got cosmic mysteries?
- Surely, our fascination with black holes must stem from having absolutely everything figured out at home, right? Poverty, disease, global warming—who needs solutions for those when you’ve got cosmic mysteries?
The Hot Take
Here’s a revolutionary thought — how about we apply the same AI hustle fixing the planet as we’re so eagerly attempting to dump it into space? Imagine AI optimized for solving more down-to-earth issues, like cleaning up the oceans or strategizing resource distribution with the efficiency it would manage space data.
Last time I checked, we’re still struggling to coexist with the climate here than worry about the forecast on the red planet. Let’s make sure the AI can help granny cross the street before we launch it into the cosmos to play tag with asteroids.
Hold onto your hats, folks — it seems logic has left the building and rocketed into the abyss, but who knows, maybe the AI will send us a postcard.
