In the Shadows: How Todd Made the Courtroom His Own Personal Hide and Seek Playground

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

In a spectacle about as predictable as the sun rise in the East and setting in the West, the legal maneuvers around Donald Trump have once again filled the media airwaves with turbulence. Todd Blanche, Trump’s attorney, has been less visible than a sensible tweet in a Twitter storm during Trump’s trial. Critics are clutching their pearls and wrestling with questions surrounding his sudden lower profile.

The Breakdown

  • Invisible Man: Where’s Todd?

    It’s like Blanche has become a magician specializing in the art of disappearance. Maybe he found a nice quiet courtroom closet to hibernate in? Or perhaps he’s busy circling job ads in the law section of newspapers, given how this trial’s going!

  • The Backseat Driver:

    Todd’s taking the backseat, but it’s not even in a cool, retro convertible; it’s more like an old clunker that might not make it past the next intersection. We’ve all heard of backseat driving, but it’s usually more helpful if the driver is conscious and actually gives some direction.

  • Legal Limelight Fails:

    Remember when lawyers in big trials were as famous as the celebrities they defended? Well, Todd must’ve missed that memo. If this were a Broadway show, he’d be the understudy who didn’t even get a courtesy mention in the playbill.

  • Clicks over Convictions:

    Is Todd’s strategy just to stay out of the way and hope the clicks keep coming because of his client’s notoriety rather than the strength of legal arguments? In the age of Internet fame, Blanche’s approach appears to be “less is more”. Who knew that could apply in the legal field too?

  • Mystery Man Moves:

    Maybe this is all a clever ploy? Maybe Todd’s invisibility is actually a new defense strategy we mere mortals can’t comprehend, or maybe he’s just relishing the opportunity to not be the most controversial person in the room for once.

The Counter

  • Now You See Him, Now You Don’t:

    Oh look, Todd just popped up again, did anyone notice? Or were you too busy watching the courtroom refreshments table?

  • Benchwarmer Brilliance:

    Let’s give credit where credit is due. It takes incredible skill to be both physically in the room and yet contribute as little as the potted plant next to the judge.

  • The Silent Treatment:

    They say silence is golden, but in Todd’s case, it might just be rusty iron. Is the silent treatment really an underrated legal tactic or just a really good way to avoid foot-in-mouth disease?

  • Not All Heroes Wear Capes:

    Perhaps we’ve got this all wrong. Maybe Todd is the unsung hero, the calm in the storm. Or, you know, maybe he’s just really good at Sudoku puzzles under the counsel table.

  • Ghosting The Court:

    In a world where ghosting is a bad dating etiquette, Todd brings it into the courtroom. High five for innovation, Todd!

The Hot Take

Gather round, folks, because it’s time to sort out the courtroom circus with a liberal splash of common sense. The charade of making barely-there appearances and stirring less public confidence than a soggy toast needs to stop.

What could possibly fix this, you ask? Well, how about showing some gumption! Lawyers, take note: strut into that courtroom like you mean it, lay down the law, literally and figuratively, and for goodness sake, act like you actually play a role in the outcome of the case. And for us witnessing this ordeal, let’s demand transparency and accountability with the same fervor we reserve for limited edition, overpriced coffee releases. Let’s make justice not just a show, but actually about just, well, justice!

Source: Questions raised about Trump attorney Blanche taking a ‘backseat’ as trial progessed

Democrawonk was born from the need to counter the Right's mind-boggling acrobatics with a dose of liberal sanity. It's a haven where progressive thoughts roam free, untrampled by the right-wing's love affair with alternative facts. And it's funny.

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