VCU’s New Major: Bachelor of Arts in Protest and Policing

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

If you thought your college days were just about boring lectures and cafeteria food that taste like cardboard, boy, do I have a surprise for you! Recently, the usually sleepy campus of Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) turned into the setting of an action-packed drama, featuring student protests and the inevitable cameo appearance by our friends in blue.

The stark atmosphere of this educational establishment was jolted awake by the loud voices of pro-Palestinian students, leading to some guests wearing handcuffs by the day’s end. As usual, things kicked off over something super simple and completely uncontroversial: a political protest. Let’s dive deep into the absurd theatre of academia.

The Breakdown

  • “Free Speech is Free… Until It’s Not”

    Here’s a golden nugget of classic college contradiction: advocating for free speech, right up until someone’s opinion rattles the status quo. Students decided to voice their concerns, and quick as a wink, the free speech got a price tag, costing a few of them their afternoon freedom.

  • “The Protest Ensemble: Students & Cops”

    Every good play needs a strong cast, and this wasn’t lacking. The students played the passionate activists, while the police stepped in as the stern-faced, rule-enforcing antagonists. Together, they created quite the spectacle—an educational scuffle, if you will.

  • “The Grounds as Battlegrounds”

    The calm, picturesque campus grounds were transformed into protest grounds. Forget about peaceful walks to class; it was banners, slogans, and a free tutorial on civil disobedience for all passersby. Who knew VCU’s lawns were multipurpose?

  • “Administrative Silence Speaks Volumes”

    Nothing screams supportive education like an administration playing peekaboo during student crises. As the cuffs clicked, the admin desks were notably vacant, because handling real issues is, I guess, above their pay grade?

  • “Media Coverage: The Cherry on Top”

    No event is complete without some spicy media coverage, which works tirelessly to make sure that both sides of the story are… well, often just adding more confusion to the pile. As a result, we end up understanding less but discussing more. Efficiency at its best!

The Counter

  • “Students Should Have Stayed Quiet”

    Absolutely right! College is meant for silent, robotic learning only. Why waste your voice on pesky little things like rights and policies?

  • “Police Just Came to Chat”

    Yep, those handcuffs were probably just fashion accessories. And the paddy wagons? Uber rides because they’re considered more hip now.

  • “The Administration Had a Day Off”

    Everyone deserves a break, right? Sometimes you just need a self-care day away from it all, especially if ‘it all’ includes your primary responsibilities.

  • “Protests Just Ruin the Grass”

    Who cares about civil unrest when there’s lawn aesthetics to worry about? Priorities, people!

  • “Media Should Focus on Real News”

    Forget students getting arrested; let’s find out what the celebrity du jour named their new pet chihuahua. Now, that’s the hard-hitting news we need!

The Hot Take

In a world where college campuses turn into hotbeds of protests and police action faster than I can say “Degree in debt generation,” perhaps it’s time to sprinkle a bit of that old-fashioned thing called perspective into the mix. Rather than sending in the cavalry at the first sign of a placard, maybe, just maybe, we could try the radical approach of listening. I know, it’s a stretch—almost as much of a stretch as those police trying to justify their heavy-handed approach in a zone designed for education and debate.

Colleges should be arenas of intellectual combat, equipped with words and ideas, not handcuffs and tear gas. Encouraging discourse, particularly on topics like international politics and human rights, seems a lot like what education is all about—or at least, it should be. If we can give our students the tools to explore, question, and protest, perhaps we can avoid turning our universities into scenes from a dystopian flick where free speech is just a neat idea mentioned in history texts.

To all the young minds out there—keep questioning, keep shouting, and maybe, just maybe, keep your sense of humor about it all. Heaven knows you’re going to need it.

Source: Arrests After Student Protest at Virginia Commonwealth University: Reports

Jimmy Ayers: the writer who swapped beachside scandals for Beltway intrigues, bringing a dash of island humor to the all-too-serious world of D.C. politics. Known for his quirky take on Capitol Hill's dramas, Jimmy's writing style suggests you certainly can't scrub the sandy wit from his dispatches.

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