Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Apparently, the big brains at NPR are in a bit of a tiff with one of their own. In a world where you’d think the only thing to argue about is whether avocado toast is culturally appropriating guacamole, NPR staff are waving flags about their leftward tumbles. But don’t worry, folks, NPR assures us it’s just a misunderstanding—like thinking “Morning Edition” is actually a caffeinated beverage.
The Breakdown
- Bullet in the Left Pocket: One brave NPR staffer starts a one-person revolution, calling out the station’s lefty leanings. A note so fiery, it almost disrupted the mild vibes of their zen garden.
- Specific Misfire: Said staffer camouflaged their grievance in an online post—a truly heroic act of passive aggression that champions the millennial way of solving problems.
- Specific Misfire: Said staffer camouflaged their grievance in an online post—a truly heroic act of passive aggression that champions the millennial way of solving problems.
- Circular Firing Squad Formation: NPR, wearing its ‘objective journalism’ armor, deflects by asserting a mix-up in translation like a ‘telephone game’ at a polyglot convention.
- Round and Round We Go: NPR insists the staffer’s grievances got lost in the echo chamber, much like the concept of quiet introspection at a toddler’s birthday party.
- Round and Round We Go: NPR insists the staffer’s grievances got lost in the echo chamber, much like the concept of quiet introspection at a toddler’s birthday party.
- Tower of Babble: The station declares its commitment to fair coverage, which must be like saying you’re committed to not laughing at funerals.
- Speaking in Tongues: The commitment must have been muttered in ancient Sumerian because the clear understanding of ‘fair’ seems to be as elusive as a straightforward answer in a political debate.
- Speaking in Tongues: The commitment must have been muttered in ancient Sumerian because the clear understanding of ‘fair’ seems to be as elusive as a straightforward answer in a political debate.
- Left Turn Only: The accusations are that NPR’s reporting menu is less ‘balanced diet’ and more ‘leaning tower of Pisa’.
- Calorie Count: NPR, emphasizing its rich palette of views, seems to consider ‘balanced’ to mean every shade of blue in the crayon box.
- Calorie Count: NPR, emphasizing its rich palette of views, seems to consider ‘balanced’ to mean every shade of blue in the crayon box.
- Liberals in the Mist: The article suggests there might just be some liberal gorillas hiding in the NPR mist, flinging their opinions around like… well, you know.
- Hidden Figures: But NPR claims these creatures are merely misunderstood; they’re not partisan, they’re passionate about public broadcasting… and maybe monsoons in Seattle.
- Hidden Figures: But NPR claims these creatures are merely misunderstood; they’re not partisan, they’re passionate about public broadcasting… and maybe monsoons in Seattle.
The Counter
- Rally ‘Round the Mic, Boys: NPR counters that they’re the voice of the people—all the people, all the time, like a chameleon at a paintball fight.
- All Inclusive: Whether you’re red, blue, or sporting a lovely shade of chartreuse, NPR swears you’ve got a seat at the table—even if it’s the kiddie table.
- All Inclusive: Whether you’re red, blue, or sporting a lovely shade of chartreuse, NPR swears you’ve got a seat at the table—even if it’s the kiddie table.
- Whose Bias Is It Anyway?: The claims of bias are about as credible as my drunk uncle’s stories of alien encounters.
- Close Encounters of the Word Kind: Because everyone knows that real bias can only be found in the wild, frolicking with Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster.
- Close Encounters of the Word Kind: Because everyone knows that real bias can only be found in the wild, frolicking with Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster.
- Fair-and-Slightly-Left-of-Center: NPR’s so balanced they’ve got liberals on the right and conservatives, well, asking for directions.
- Mapping the Middle: Somewhere between the skeptics and the cynics lies the land of ‘fair’ where the scales tip just enough to keep things interesting.
- Mapping the Middle: Somewhere between the skeptics and the cynics lies the land of ‘fair’ where the scales tip just enough to keep things interesting.
- Echo, Echo, Echo: If you shout into the NPR echo chamber, you’ll get a well-modulated, dulcet-toned rebuttal.
- Sound Waves: And that’s just Bob from accounting offering up his casserole recipe.
- Sound Waves: And that’s just Bob from accounting offering up his casserole recipe.
- Podcast Pundits: NPR podcasts are a haven for all opinions, as long as they’re carefully curated, gently steamed, and served with a side of kale.
- Audibly Edible: Because nothing says ‘diversity’ like fifty different ways to discuss the socio-political implications of avocado ownership.
- Audibly Edible: Because nothing says ‘diversity’ like fifty different ways to discuss the socio-political implications of avocado ownership.
The Hot Take
In my hot-as-habanero take, the fix is as simple as mixing plaid with stripes. Let’s spice things up at NPR with a good ol’ fashioned dose of radical transparency. Maybe introduce a segment where staffers roast the editorial decisions over an open flame, sprinkled with the tears of conflict-averse producers. Or how about live-streaming the meetings where they decide which news is fit to ‘air’ and which goes to the ‘when-hell-freezes-over’ pile?
Get real people, with real opinions, on air—not just the voices that sail smoother than a latte on a Sunday morn. We need the full espresso shot of reality, people! Because at the heart of every sarcastic jab, dear readers, there’s a tiny violin playing for the voice of moderation in a world that’s about as moderate as my love for a well-aged scotch.
Ah, the drama of public radio—a world where every voice counts, but some just might need a little extra amplification. Let’s turn up the volume and see what happens when the full spectrum of sound comes through. Cheers to the cacophony, folks!
Source: NPR Fires Back at Staffer’s Missive About Left-Wing ‘Miscues’
