Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
In an act that might just redefine the term ‘political gymnastics’, we’ve got Governor Chris Sununu performing an intricate balancing act that would make any circus performer jealous. The man states that former President Trump ‘contributed’ to the insurrection—but hold on, don’t unleash the confetti cannons just yet—he still supports him.
Are we witnessing cognitive dissonance, a political strategy, or just someone trying to have their electoral cake and eat it too? It’s hard to say. But by the time you untangle the knots in Sununu’s logic, you’ll need a chiropractor for your brain.
The Breakdown
- Consistency is Key and Key is Apparently an Old Rusty Lock
- While most people strive for consistency, our pal Sununu seems to have thrown that out the window along with any user manual called “Common Sense for Dummies.” Trump’s actions, bad; Trump’s presidency, still support-worthy? Oh, the clarity we do not have.
- While most people strive for consistency, our pal Sununu seems to have thrown that out the window along with any user manual called “Common Sense for Dummies.” Trump’s actions, bad; Trump’s presidency, still support-worthy? Oh, the clarity we do not have.
- “I Disapprove of What You Say, But I Will Defend to the Death Your Right to Lead the Party”
- Channeling his inner Voltaire—or just channeling a political strategist with vertigo—Sununu’s towing the party line while trying not to trip over it. It’s a dangerous high-wire act performed without a net, or logic.
- Channeling his inner Voltaire—or just channeling a political strategist with vertigo—Sununu’s towing the party line while trying not to trip over it. It’s a dangerous high-wire act performed without a net, or logic.
- The Art of Political Backscratching: It’s Like Yoga but Less Relaxing
- In politics, you scratch my back with your support, and I’ll awkwardly reach around and kinda pat yours but also say you’re kind of dangerous. Sununu’s perfected this maneuver—it’s all in the elbows, folks.
- In politics, you scratch my back with your support, and I’ll awkwardly reach around and kinda pat yours but also say you’re kind of dangerous. Sununu’s perfected this maneuver—it’s all in the elbows, folks.
- Jekyll or Hyde? Why Not Both?
- Sununu is pioneering—why pick a side when you can inhabit all of them simultaneously? It’s like Schrödinger’s politics; the cat is both alive and dead, Trump is both supported and not, and my head both does and does not hurt trying to figure this out.
- Sununu is pioneering—why pick a side when you can inhabit all of them simultaneously? It’s like Schrödinger’s politics; the cat is both alive and dead, Trump is both supported and not, and my head both does and does not hurt trying to figure this out.
- Political Loyalty: Red Rover, Red Rover, Send Sanity Right Over
- In a rousing game of political Red Rover, Sununu seems to be playing for both teams. Just when you think you know whose hands he’s holding, he bolts to the other side yelling, “Just kidding!”
- In a rousing game of political Red Rover, Sununu seems to be playing for both teams. Just when you think you know whose hands he’s holding, he bolts to the other side yelling, “Just kidding!”
The Counter
- A Strategy So Bold, It Just Might Work (Narrator: It Won’t)
- Let’s reverse the logic. Sununu supports Trump despite the insurrection contribution because hey, who doesn’t enjoy a game of Russian Roulette with the nation’s future?
- Let’s reverse the logic. Sununu supports Trump despite the insurrection contribution because hey, who doesn’t enjoy a game of Russian Roulette with the nation’s future?
- The Importance of Being Earnest…ly Confusing
- Why take a straight path when a good zig-zag pattern will confuse everybody? Maybe Sununu is onto something…maybe he’s leading us through a maze. The cheese at the end better be worth it.
- Why take a straight path when a good zig-zag pattern will confuse everybody? Maybe Sununu is onto something…maybe he’s leading us through a maze. The cheese at the end better be worth it.
- You Can’t Spell ‘Political Finesse’ Without ‘Fine Mess’
- What Sununu’s political ballet lacks in subtlety, it makes up for with sheer ‘What the heck?’ energy. And that’s… something.
- What Sununu’s political ballet lacks in subtlety, it makes up for with sheer ‘What the heck?’ energy. And that’s… something.
- The More the Merrier: Embracing All Sides of an Argument
- By embracing all ends of the partisan spectrum, Sununu essentially guarantees someone will high-five him at parties. Will they then whisper backhanded compliments? Probably.
- By embracing all ends of the partisan spectrum, Sununu essentially guarantees someone will high-five him at parties. Will they then whisper backhanded compliments? Probably.
- Untangling Christmas Lights: The Political Edition
- Imagine Sununu’s stance as a bundle of Christmas lights: part brightly shining with support, part dark and tangled with criticism. Now, the real question—do we even bother to untangle them or just buy new ones?
- Imagine Sununu’s stance as a bundle of Christmas lights: part brightly shining with support, part dark and tangled with criticism. Now, the real question—do we even bother to untangle them or just buy new ones?
The Hot Take
The solution to this politically paradoxical puzzle? We need to recalibrate the moral compass of our beloved politicians, infusing a dash of humor, a sprinkle of sarcasm, and a hefty dose of reality checks. When playing both sides starts to look as ridiculous as socks with sandals, maybe—it’s just a thought—we start demanding clear, consistent stances. Picture it: politicians actually saying what they mean, and meaning what they say. Groundbreaking, I know. Throw in some integrity, a little less waffling, and we might just avoid political heartburn.
But hey, where’s the fun in that? We’d miss out on the circus show, complete with tightrope walkers like Sununu, who remind us that politics is less like a noble quest and more like an endless episode of reality TV. At least with my suggestion, the worst that can happen is we all end up with a better taste in our mouths—and hopefully, better leadership.
Source: Sununu Says Trump ‘Contributed’ to Insurrection, but Still Has His Support
