Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
How do you even glance through a courtroom kerfuffle featuring the one and only Donald Trump without bursting into hysterics? Especially when you’ve got allegations of snoozing at his own high-stakes trial – quite the bedtime story, let me tell you.
In an audacious display of eyelid endurance, Trump allegedly treated the court proceedings more like a Netflix snoozer than the latest episode of “Courtroom Catastrophes.” We can’t help but wonder if the trial’s testimony was accompanied by a soothing lullaby. But hey, let’s dive right into the nitty-gritty with a spoonful of sarcasm, shall we?
The Breakdown
- Siesta in Session: Ah, the art of the power nap. Most folks grab a quick shut-eye on a flight or sneak in some Z’s during a painfully long meeting, but our dear Mr. Trump apparently opts for the courtroom gallery. Because nothing says “I’m taking these charges seriously” like a good, ol’ fashioned nap, right?
- Picture this: While the fate of your hush-money antics hangs in the balance, your eyes close in sweet surrender. It’s not like the proceedings are about you or anything. It’s like bringing a pillow to a gunfight.
- Picture this: While the fate of your hush-money antics hangs in the balance, your eyes close in sweet surrender. It’s not like the proceedings are about you or anything. It’s like bringing a pillow to a gunfight.
- Glares of a Showman: Upon awakening from his courtroom slumber, Trump reportedly glared at the reporter who caught him. That’s right, folks, it’s not the snoozing that’s the issue – it’s getting caught.
- The glare must be Trump’s superpower; it’s his go-to move. Forget about laser vision or mind control, just one frosty Trump stare, and you’ll feel colder than a penguin in a freezer.
- The glare must be Trump’s superpower; it’s his go-to move. Forget about laser vision or mind control, just one frosty Trump stare, and you’ll feel colder than a penguin in a freezer.
- Reporters on the Prowl: Newsflash – reporters report. Apparently, some find it shocking that a journalist would dare to jot down notes on Trump getting his beauty rest during what might be the dullest moments of his life – that is, if you don’t count briefings, interviews, or reading anything longer than a tweet.
- Who knew that the pen is mightier than the snore?
- Who knew that the pen is mightier than the snore?
- Courtroom Etiquette 101: Most of us learned in kindergarten that you don’t sleep where you work. But then again, most of us aren’t Donald Trump. He’s redefining courtroom decorum – one nap at a time.
- Watch out, Judge Judy; you might have to invest in a cattle prod.
- Watch out, Judge Judy; you might have to invest in a cattle prod.
- Nap Time Versus News Time: If you’re going to take a little court-nap, you might not want to do it when every eye in the country is on you, scrutinizing your every move. But then again, when has Trump ever played by our mortal rules of logic and predictability?
- Maybe he’s onto something – could we get Congress to do this en masse?
- Maybe he’s onto something – could we get Congress to do this en masse?
The Counter
- All Hypnosis Is Self-Hypnosis: Maybe Trump was not sleeping but self-hypnotizing to abstain from live-tweeting the trial. After all, old habits die hard.
- Gotta stay off Twitter somehow – why not use court-ordered meditation?
- Gotta stay off Twitter somehow – why not use court-ordered meditation?
- Those Aren’t Snores, They’re Roars: Perhaps what seemed like the rhythmic breathing of a snooze fest was actually the low growl of a man deeply contemplating justice. Or indigestion, hard to tell.
- Listening with your eyes closed is the new black.
- Listening with your eyes closed is the new black.
- A Blaring Glare is Fair: If looks could kill, right? But instead of taking aim with eloquent legal arguments or heartfelt apologies, Trump’s best defense simply may be that visage of an incensed grump.
- Just trying to scare the truth away, nothing to see here.
- Just trying to scare the truth away, nothing to see here.
- Reporters Are Sleep-Blockers: Dang those pesky journalists, how dare they do their jobs and observe the observable? Next thing you know, they’ll be reporting facts without a care for nappers’ rights.
- The First Amendment really needs a snooze button.
- The First Amendment really needs a snooze button.
- Redefining Courtroom Manners: Maybe Trump is just ahead of the curve, ushering in a new era where courtroom attendees are encouraged to rest their eyes, rejuvenate, and dream a little dream of justice.
- Because what’s more refreshing than waking up to a verdict?
- Because what’s more refreshing than waking up to a verdict?
The Hot Take
In the world of politics and power, boredom is a cardinal sin, and sleep is its little disciple. So, here’s a revolutionary concept: Stay awake during your own trial. It’s like open-mike night at the legal club – you wouldn’t want to miss your cue, would you, Donny? Put on a show, dazzle us with your awakened presence, and if that doesn’t work, how about we try some constructive engagement? You know, those long-forgotten gems like responding, reflecting, and – dare I suggest – reforming?
As for my hot, very liberal take, we could stand to make these courtroom dramas a bit more stimulating. Maybe turn it into a game show? “Who Wants to be a Defendant?” could have a nice ring to it. As for fixing the problem of somnolent defendants, I say we hand out double espressos at the door, or replace the bailiffs with baristas – either way, we keep the courts lively and the defendants perky.
Source: Donald Trump ‘Glares’ at Reporter Who Exposed Him Sleeping During Trial
