Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
It seems that Maryland’s State Board of Education has decided “change” is too heavy a word for its delicate sensibilities. In a move that would make any bureaucrat swell with pride, Carey Wright has been roped in to continue her sagacious rule over Maryland schools. Considering her rollercoaster tenure filled with highs, lows, and sideways glances, the board perhaps thought, “Why disrupt the mediocrity?”
The Breakdown
- More Chance for Extended Lunch Breaks
- The Maryland State Board clearly endorses long lunch breaks, because they seem to be on one when they decided to extend Wright’s tenure. This decision must have been made between bites of an indistinct sandwich, ignoring quite a few dissenting opinions.
- The Maryland State Board clearly endorses long lunch breaks, because they seem to be on one when they decided to extend Wright’s tenure. This decision must have been made between bites of an indistinct sandwich, ignoring quite a few dissenting opinions.
- Innovative Stagnation: A Bold Strategy
- By retaining the leadership of Carey Wright, the board has taken a daring leap into the safety of known waters. Imagine the endless possibilities of steadfastly refusing to innovate! Wright’s continuation promises a thrilling mediocrity that will surely maintain the status quo.
- By retaining the leadership of Carey Wright, the board has taken a daring leap into the safety of known waters. Imagine the endless possibilities of steadfastly refusing to innovate! Wright’s continuation promises a thrilling mediocrity that will surely maintain the status quo.
- Data-Driven Torpor
- Under Wright’s unyielding gaze, the Maryland schools had a peculiar fascination with metrics and data. Sure, data is important unless it becomes the educational equivalent of watching paint dry on a humid day. Maybe this time, with more data, they could even predict the exact moment everyone stops caring!
- Under Wright’s unyielding gaze, the Maryland schools had a peculiar fascination with metrics and data. Sure, data is important unless it becomes the educational equivalent of watching paint dry on a humid day. Maybe this time, with more data, they could even predict the exact moment everyone stops caring!
- Funding Fiesta
- Funding discussions under Wright’s rule could be likened to throwing darts blindfolded in hopes of scoring a budget increase. Good luck to the arts and physical education – may the odds be ever in your favor.
- Funding discussions under Wright’s rule could be likened to throwing darts blindfolded in hopes of scoring a budget increase. Good luck to the arts and physical education – may the odds be ever in your favor.
- Private School Envy
- The continuation of Wright’s reign ensures that all those private school pamphlets floating around Maryland families will start to look even more tempting. Keep up the mediocre work in public schools, and it’s an unintentional ad campaign for private education!
- The continuation of Wright’s reign ensures that all those private school pamphlets floating around Maryland families will start to look even more tempting. Keep up the mediocre work in public schools, and it’s an unintentional ad campaign for private education!
The Counter
- Extended Lunch Breaks Are Essential for Digestion
- Perhaps the extended tenure of Carey Wright is the board’s way of ensuring everyone gets to digest not only their food but the continuous lackluster results.
- Perhaps the extended tenure of Carey Wright is the board’s way of ensuring everyone gets to digest not only their food but the continuous lackluster results.
- If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It
- The board might argue that Wright’s leadership isn’t broke, just slightly cracked, like a sidewalk that’s still walkable if you don’t mind tripping here and there.
- The board might argue that Wright’s leadership isn’t broke, just slightly cracked, like a sidewalk that’s still walkable if you don’t mind tripping here and there.
- Data Is the New Sexy
- In a world obsessed with big data, maybe more number crunching is what will finally make education as exciting as binge-watching a spreadsheet tutorial.
- In a world obsessed with big data, maybe more number crunching is what will finally make education as exciting as binge-watching a spreadsheet tutorial.
- Who Needs Arts When You Have Calculus?
- All those budget cuts to non-STEM areas are just Wright’s way of making sure Maryland students are ready to tackle real-world problems, like calculating the exact percentage of their lost interest in arts.
- All those budget cuts to non-STEM areas are just Wright’s way of making sure Maryland students are ready to tackle real-world problems, like calculating the exact percentage of their lost interest in arts.
- Private Schools Need Some Love Too
- Maybe this is a covert operation to boost enrollment in private schools. After all, public institutions indirectly promoting their competitors is the kind of plot twist that keeps you on your toes!
- Maybe this is a covert operation to boost enrollment in private schools. After all, public institutions indirectly promoting their competitors is the kind of plot twist that keeps you on your toes!
The Hot Take
In a world where the only constant is change, Maryland’s education system bravely bucks the trend by changing absolutely nothing. It’s like deciding to repaint your peeling house with the same color, hoping it won’t start peeling again.
But don’t worry, there’s a liberal solution to this conservative no-change approach: let’s throw in more liberalism! That’s right, let’s add a sprinkle of progressive ideals, a dash of technological disruption, and maybe even a pinch of actual responsiveness to parental concerns. Let’s make Maryland schools the kind of place that kids can’t wait to attend and not just because they serve pizza on Tuesdays.
Whether it’s with a chuckle or a groan, one thing is clear: Maryland’s educational leadership saga is set to be as suspenseful as a sloth race. Buckle up, it’s going to be a long, slow ride.
Source: Carey Wright will continue to lead Md. schools, state board announces
