Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
The Breakdown
In what could be considered the penultimate “Wrong Place, Wrong Time” trope, it seems that some Kansas Moms found themselves in a life-or-death drama more intricately plotted than a community theater rendition of “West Side Story”. We’ve got accused murderers and anti-government shenanigans blending together like a politically charged smoothie nobody ordered. Here’s your guide to the chaos, served with a side of unfiltered sarcasm.
- Anti-Government Groupies Gone Wild: Sure, who doesn’t want to cozy up to a fringe anti-government group? They’ve got all the perks: secret handshakes, matching camo outfits, and the ever-seductive whiff of treason in the morning.
- Details, you say? Well, these were your garden-variety, anti-government enthusiasts who took their rebellion a smidge too far. From tax resistance to, uh, flat-out murder? They’re stretching the definition of ‘civil disobedience’ until it snaps.
- Details, you say? Well, these were your garden-variety, anti-government enthusiasts who took their rebellion a smidge too far. From tax resistance to, uh, flat-out murder? They’re stretching the definition of ‘civil disobedience’ until it snaps.
- Guilty by Association or Just Poor Friendship Choices?: Hanging out with the wrong crowd takes on a whole new meaning when that crowd is linked to a fully-fledged murder inquiry.
- The Plot Thickens with Every Click: The article reads like a ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ book, only every link is a new level of conspiracy.
- Toted as the Kansas Confederacy (I swear I’m not making this up), it’s a rabbit hole of ill-conceived principles and even worse decision-making. Each click reveals more layers than a poorly constructed onion dip at a Super Bowl party.
- Toted as the Kansas Confederacy (I swear I’m not making this up), it’s a rabbit hole of ill-conceived principles and even worse decision-making. Each click reveals more layers than a poorly constructed onion dip at a Super Bowl party.
- Following the Bread Crumbs to The Daily Beast: Our trusty news source provides more red flags than a Communist parade.
- The Daily Beast, the digital town crier, has given us a treasure map to tyranny. But instead of “X” marking the spot, it’s a breadcrumb trail of suspect affiliations and militant malarky.
- The Daily Beast, the digital town crier, has given us a treasure map to tyranny. But instead of “X” marking the spot, it’s a breadcrumb trail of suspect affiliations and militant malarky.
- Journalism or Sensationalism?: It can be tough to distinguish between news and reality TV these days.
- The article does a magnificent job of blurring the lines between sobering news and the latest episode of How to Get Away with (Anti-Government) Murder. Is it a thought-provoking piece, or should we snack on popcorn while we read?
- The article does a magnificent job of blurring the lines between sobering news and the latest episode of How to Get Away with (Anti-Government) Murder. Is it a thought-provoking piece, or should we snack on popcorn while we read?
- The connection between an anti-government mindset and violent crime is presented here with the subtlety of a chainsaw sculpture. They say you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep, and in this case, it’s a regular rogues’ galler
The Counter
If all that doom, gloom, and criminal camaraderie weren’t enough, here’s the mandatory flip side, served with a generous sprinkling of cynicism.
- Anarchists’ Anonymous: Maybe we’ve got it all wrong. Perhaps this is just a misunderstood support group for people who really hate waiting in line at the DMV.
- There’s a slim chance that weekly meetings include group discussions on the best ways to live off-grid and how to recycle camouflage netting into eco-friendly tote bags.
- There’s a slim chance that weekly meetings include group discussions on the best ways to live off-grid and how to recycle camouflage netting into eco-friendly tote bags.
- Murder Schmurder: Aren’t we getting ahead of ourselves with all this ‘accused’ business? In a time of fake news and alternative facts, who’s to say what’s real anymore?
- Let’s be honest, it’s almost admirable how the alleged bloodthirsty turncoat activities have brought these individuals together. It’s like a team-building exercise gone diabolically haywire.
- Let’s be honest, it’s almost admirable how the alleged bloodthirsty turncoat activities have brought these individuals together. It’s like a team-building exercise gone diabolically haywire.
- Conspiracy Crafters: They aren’t criminal masterminds; they’re just hobbyists who took their passion for DIY conspiracies a touch too seriously.
- I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a Pinterest board out there for ‘Top 10 Ways to Subvert the Government Using Only Common Household Items.’
- I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a Pinterest board out there for ‘Top 10 Ways to Subvert the Government Using Only Common Household Items.’
- Economic Stimulus Packages: Think of the job creation! Lawyers, reporters, even the snack vendors at the courthouse – everyone’s making a buck.
- Freedom Fighters or Freedom Fright-ers?: At the end of the day, isn’t this what America’s all about? Standing up for what you believe in, even if you have to topple a government or two along the way?
- One could argue that these modern-day rebels are just out here doing their part to stimulate the local economy. Who said crime doesn’t pay?
The Hot Take
In a scorching take, hotter than a Carolina Reaper chili, let’s explore the conundrum of misguided patriotism and how we can steer this ship back to more temperate waters.
First, can we all just agree that government, while flawed, is not the omnipotent boogeyman waiting to gobble up all our liberties? It’s not a perfect system, but neither is thinking arming yourself to the teeth and prepping for Armageddon is a fun weekend activity. Instead of these anti-government cosplay adventures, maybe, just maybe, take up gardening? It’s therapeutic, and you get tomatoes, which are far less likely to lead to a standoff with the feds.
Secondly, can we get these folks a subscription to “The Anarchist’s Monthly” or something? Perhaps if they had a regular outlet for all this revolutionary fervor, they wouldn’t feel so inclined to take their plot ideas out of the discussion forums and into the real world. I mean, there’s gotta be a middle ground between group therapy and treason, right?
In essence, these kernels of wisdom serve up a strategy that’s more satire than salve, but come on, anyone honestly contemplating civil disobedience via a murder spree has already missed the exit to Reasonville.
Source: Kansas Moms’ Accused Murderers Were in Anti-Government Group, Cops Say
