Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
In the city that never sleeps, you’d think a gathering to support a former President known for his, let’s say, energetic rallies would be somewhat of a spectacle. However, the latest Trump support rally in New York was more of a siesta than a fiesta.
The “massive” crowd was so, well, unmassive, that even the pigeons seemed to yawn at the turnout. Trump’s loyal fans, an army once capable of filling arenas to the brim, now seemed more like a book club struggling to find enough chairs in a library.
The Breakdown
- Where’s Waldo, MAGA Edition?
The crowd at Trump’s latest rally in New York was apparently playing a great game of hide and seek. Only, no one was seeking. With such sparse attendance, you could’ve sent out search parties and still come back only with a couple of misplaced tourists and a hotdog vendor wondering where the queue went. - The Big Apple or The Big Nap?
The energy at the rally must’ve been set to ‘snooze’ because the streets weren’t exactly vibrating with the foot-stomping, flag-waving enthusiasm you’d expect. It was more of a gentle nod-off than a political statement. The event had less ‘Make America Great Again’ and more ‘Take a Quick Break Again’. - Trump Store Clearance Sale: Now with Fewer Customers!
You know things are dire when the Trump merchandise booths are looking lonelier than a vegan at a barbecue. The hats might as well have been spinning on their racks, tossing themselves at passersby, pleading for a head to call home. - Security Detail or Book Club Guardians?
The security was prepared for a brawl, armed to protect the masses from… well, there weren’t any masses. Quite frankly, they looked ready to swap riot gear for chess sets and discuss the latest James Patterson book. - Headline News or Page 6 Snooze?
Usually, when Trump’s in town, it’s all over the news with that bold font and exclamatory tone. This time around, you’d have more luck finding the rally on a lost dog flyer pinned to a local coffee shop bulletin board.
The Counter
- Now with Introverted Enthusiasm!
Perhaps, in a bold move, the rally was designed with the introvert in mind. No crowds, no noise, just contemplative thinking about Making America Great Again, quietly. - Economical Cheering Sessions
With such a small crowd, think of the savings on vocal cord strain. These supporters are financially savvy; they probably whisper-chanted to save on future throat lozenge purchases. - Upside of Empty Space: More Room for Thought Bubbles
Plenty of space means there’s more room to expand the ideas. Like think balloons in comic strips, there could have been some very large, though very invisible, policy proposals floating above the crowd. - Hide the Numbers, Shroud in Mystery
Maybe it’s a new tactic: keep the support discreet, make the opponents unsure of how many they’re dealing with. Brilliant? Or maybe just sleepy. Very sleepy. - The Ultimate Exclusive Event
Exclusive means limited in quantity, right? The ultra-exclusive rally had the quantity of attendees so limited it was nearly a collector’s item.
The Hot Take
In an era where everything screams ‘Go big or go home’, it looks like going home might be the new trend for political rallies. As a witty recounter of such peculiar events, my unsolicited advice for remedying this seemingly dwindling political fervor? Well, we could turn these rallies into sleep-ins; political protest meets slumber party.
Everyone gets comfy pajamas with slogans, bingo cards with out-of-context quotes, and maybe a bedtime story about tax reform that would actually put us to sleep. Otherwise, the grand solution may be just to let natural enthusiasm take its course, like a hit TV show that’s gone on a tad too long. At some point, even the reruns don’t pull the same numbers.
Source: ‘It’s kind of sleepy’: Trump’s supporters showed up in New York. But not many of them.
