Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
In a stunning display of political camaraderie that’s as rare as a vegan at a Texas barbecue, former lawmakers Adam Kinzinger and Rick Santorum are leading a nostalgia-inducing cohort – the sort that makes you miss the good old days of mere policy bickering – in backing Senator Ron Johnson’s stance on Ukraine aid.
Yes, that’s right, folks, we’ve got Republicans supporting other Republicans in a shocking turn of events that threatens the fabric of our nation’s polarization. And as you might have guessed, this heartwarming tale of unity is less about ‘Kumbaya’ and more about the strategic who-gets-what in the geopolitical playground, that is, Ukraine.
The Breakdown
- Old Republicans Never Die, They Just Fade into Advisory Roles
- Kinzinger and Santorum are slipping back into the political limelight like dads onto a dance floor at a wedding – awkwardly but with undeniable enthusiasm. They’re leading a band of ex-legislators who apparently just can’t resist the siren call of foreign policy debates.
- Kinzinger and Santorum are slipping back into the political limelight like dads onto a dance floor at a wedding – awkwardly but with undeniable enthusiasm. They’re leading a band of ex-legislators who apparently just can’t resist the siren call of foreign policy debates.
- Crossing Party Lines Is So Hot Right Now – Just Kidding, It’s Not
- Giving the impression that they are as bipartisan as a cat is to swimming, these former members of Congress are actually just flicking through the Republican rolodex of power moves. This is about as bipartisan as my left and right socks coordinating because they happen to be black.
- Giving the impression that they are as bipartisan as a cat is to swimming, these former members of Congress are actually just flicking through the Republican rolodex of power moves. This is about as bipartisan as my left and right socks coordinating because they happen to be black.
- The ‘Threat’ of Big, Bad Wolf Russia
- Our band of merry men is under the impression that if we don’t aid Ukraine, Russia might just huff, puff, and blow all the democratic houses down. Russia is being painted as a geopolitical Goliath, when in reality, it’s more like your cousin Gary who thinks he’s tough because he once won a game of Risk.
- Our band of merry men is under the impression that if we don’t aid Ukraine, Russia might just huff, puff, and blow all the democratic houses down. Russia is being painted as a geopolitical Goliath, when in reality, it’s more like your cousin Gary who thinks he’s tough because he once won a game of Risk.
- Foreign Aid? More Like A Geopolitical Trust Fund
- The supporters of this aid package treat it like a trust fund for a teenager – because nothing screams ‘responsibility’ like handing over a stack of cash with few strings attached. Surely, there’s no way that could backfire like a poorly written sitcom plot.
- The supporters of this aid package treat it like a trust fund for a teenager – because nothing screams ‘responsibility’ like handing over a stack of cash with few strings attached. Surely, there’s no way that could backfire like a poorly written sitcom plot.
- Shutdown Threats? Good Ol’ Political Brinkmanship
- As is tradition, threats of a government shutdown loom like the haunted house at the end of the street. Sure, we could talk about fiscal responsibility, but where’s the drama in that? It’s much more fun to play chicken with the nation’s economy, right?
- As is tradition, threats of a government shutdown loom like the haunted house at the end of the street. Sure, we could talk about fiscal responsibility, but where’s the drama in that? It’s much more fun to play chicken with the nation’s economy, right?
The Counter
- The Times They Are a-Changin’ – But Not Really
- Who said old politicians lose their touch? They’re out here trying to teach all these young whippersnappers how a real stalemate is done. It’s cute, but in a depressing ‘they’ve learned nothing’ way.
- Who said old politicians lose their touch? They’re out here trying to teach all these young whippersnappers how a real stalemate is done. It’s cute, but in a depressing ‘they’ve learned nothing’ way.
- Can’t We All Just Get Along? No, Seriously, Can We?
- It’s almost as though bipartisanship is a mythical creature – often spoken of, never seen. We’d have better luck spotting a unicorn in Congress than a true bipartisan effort these days.
- It’s almost as though bipartisanship is a mythical creature – often spoken of, never seen. We’d have better luck spotting a unicorn in Congress than a true bipartisan effort these days.
- Do We Even Know Who’s Naughty or Nice Anymore?
- The conversation about who deserves our financial backing is as clear as mud. But sure, let’s keep throwing money at problems and hoping they sort themselves out just like my laundry – pile it high enough, and it’ll magically disappear, right?
- The conversation about who deserves our financial backing is as clear as mud. But sure, let’s keep throwing money at problems and hoping they sort themselves out just like my laundry – pile it high enough, and it’ll magically disappear, right?
- The Art of Writing Blank Checks: A Congressional Masterpiece
- We’re witnessing artistic genius in the form of zero accountability spending. It’s like a toddler playing with Monopoly money, except with global consequences.
- We’re witnessing artistic genius in the form of zero accountability spending. It’s like a toddler playing with Monopoly money, except with global consequences.
- Shutting Down the Government: The Ultimate Temper Tantrum
- If at first you don’t succeed, threaten to take your ball and go home. Because if history has taught us anything, it’s that nothing solves a fiscal crisis like a good, old-fashioned government shutdown, am I right?
- If at first you don’t succeed, threaten to take your ball and go home. Because if history has taught us anything, it’s that nothing solves a fiscal crisis like a good, old-fashioned government shutdown, am I right?
The Hot Take
Alright, hold onto your lattes, because here’s the scalding hot take: if we truly want to make lemonade out of this political lemon – and let’s be honest, it’s a bit of a rotten one – then maybe, just maybe, it’s time to try actual dialogue with tangible action plans that involve more than just crossing our fingers and cash tossing.
You know, treat foreign aid the same way we might address healthcare or education – with a modicum of thought and research. I know it’s a wacky concept, but stick with me here. Because at the end of the day, if we don’t crack open the ole policy playbook and update our strategy, we’re just going to be revisiting this episode like it’s a syndicated sitcom. And let’s face it, even “Friends” wasn’t funny the seventeenth time around.
Source: Kinzinger, Santorum among former lawmakers backing Johnson on Ukraine aid
