Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
If McKinsey were a super villain, they’d probably be named Professor Opioid—a less charismatic but equally destructive cousin of every comic book antagonist you’ve loved to hate. This ensemble, known for its sharp suits and sharper strategies, is now under the scorching spotlight of a U.S. criminal investigation.
The reason? Oh, just a slight mishap involving allegedly helping turbocharge the opioid crisis. Apparently, they were giving advice on how to sell more of the moreish meds while America was busy counting bodies instead of pills. If irony were a drug, there’d be an epidemic.
The Breakdown:
- Sales Over Souls:
Ever curious about how to push products that are eye-wateringly addictive? McKinsey had some pointers, and all ethical dilemmas aside, they were bloody effective. Envision PowerPoint slides greased up with strategies that could put even the sleaziest salesman to shame. They didn’t literally push the pills, mind you, but they sure dreamed up the marketing strategies that did. - Cash is King, Consequences be Damned:
If there were ever an Olympic event for moral gymnastics, McKinsey’s consultants would nail that landing. Who cares about a nationwide health crisis when there’s money to be made, right? From advising on avoiding pesky regulations to brainstorming how to bulk-buy loyalty, it was all about the green. - The Art of Dodging:
“We were not the decision-makers,” cries the defense. Sure, and I’m not responsible for what I say during a comedy roast. It seems McKinsey might have consulted their legal team more than the pharmaceutical companies. Dissociation from accountability is a popular tune when the public outcry gets a tad too loud. - The Villains Behind the Victims:
Here’s a touching plot twist—focusing on the distributors of opioid rather than the poor folks getting hooked. It’s like comforting a bully because he’s upset he ran out of lunch money to steal. McKinsey’s thoughtful strategies included targeting those who were best at pushing volume, which in this tragic saga, were not the heroes. - Profit-Driven Pandemic:
Before COVID-19 taught the world what pandemics are, McKinsey was already in the business of spreading a different kind. Only this time, the virus was addiction, and the carrier was corporate strategy. Sleek, efficient, and deadly—no hazmat suit could protect you from these spreadsheets.
The Counter:
- “It’s Just Business”:
Sure, and Hannibal Lecter was just a chef with exotic taste. McKinsey might tell you they were doing their job—immersing fully in the capitalist spirit America cherishes. After all, advising on effective sales strategies doesn’t inherently come with a moral gauge, right? - Holding Hands with Hydras:
When you dine with the devil—sorry, Big Pharma—you might need a long spoon, but who brings a spoon to a consultancy gig? Better to bring a shovel for all that money you’re going to dig up together. Ethical boundaries? Those are flexible, much like gymnasts or, apparently, consultancy ethics. - “What Laws?”:
McKinsey might argue that they’re no strangers to bending rules, maybe even creatively interpreting them. All within legal frameworks, of course—provided those frameworks are made of rubber. And as long as they keep their hands clean, why not muddy everyone else’s? - Profits Before People:
In the grand tradition of American enterprise, putting profit before people isn’t new. It’s practically a founding principle for many business models. You wouldn’t blame the knife salesman for a stabbing spree, so why point fingers at a humble consultancy? - Masters of the Universe:
Perhaps they see themselves as the He-Man of consultancy—masters of the universe. And in their universe, accountability is as fluid as their strategies. They’re just making the big bucks, and isn’t that the American dream?
The Hot Take:
Oh, McKinsey, you bring such a comedic goldmine. If only your strategies weren’t contributing to a nationwide public health disaster, I’d almost applaud your villainous genius. As for fixing this mess? How about starting with embracing some basic humanity?
We could enforce stricter regulations on consultancy advices—make them liable for their recommendations. Or, and this is a wild thought, how about prioritizing public welfare over profits? Let’s turn this tragic comedy into a feel-good movie where the bad guys turn good. The laugh’s on us if we keep letting this slide.
Source: McKinsey reportedly under US criminal investigation over opioid industry work
