Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
In a twist that seems more suited for a poorly-scripted reality TV show than real life, recent observations have noted that jurors in Trump’s ongoing legal saga appear to be doing everything but shooting heart eyes at him. According to expert analysis, this universal avoidance of eye contact is actually a positive sign for justice – though probably not so much for Trump.
Picture this: a courtroom drama, minus the gripping engagement; jurors, part of the audience, might as well be scrolling through their phones. Let’s break it down into bite-sized, sarcastic chunks that even a reality TV star can understand.
The Breakdown
- Jurors practicing social distancing with their gazes
Clearly, the jurors have taken the advice of every middle school dance chaperone: “Leave room for Jesus.” Except, in this scenario, they’re leaving room for the judiciary. By not looking at Trump, they’re keeping their minds free of any potential presidential charm (if it exists). These jurors could give the cold shoulder in an Arctic survival challenge. - Expert opinions or Captain Obvious?
Trial experts chiming in on this behavior might just be vying for the ‘Captain Obvious Award’ of the year. Their take: “Not looking equals impartiality.” Thanks, experts! Next up, they’ll be revealing that water is wet and taxes are annoying. - The reality TV show no one wants to binge-watch
If Trump’s trials were a Netflix series, they would be the kind you start out of curiosity, then abandon for a more soothing cooking show. Jury members avoiding Trump’s gaze might indicate they’re already bracing for disappointment, much like viewers realizing the plot is going nowhere. - Is this poker or politics?
The jurors, with their perfect poker faces, are here to remind us that this trial is not about who can make the best TV ratings soar but about the facts. Too bad, because Trump seemed to have confused his impeachment hearings for sweeps week. - Subtle signals or blinded by the legal spotlight?
Perhaps these jurors aren’t giving Trump the cold shoulder. Maybe the courtroom’s fluorescent lights are just too bright. Or maybe they spill their morning coffee whenever they make eye contact with a former reality star? The possibilities are endless and equally plausible.
The Counter
- Maybe Trump is just that boring
Honestly, the man’s been in the media’s spotlight for so long, even the jurors are over it. “Listening” to Trump as just another background noise, like a forgotten Spotify playlist on a loop. - Plot twist: jurors are actually androids
They don’t look at Trump because, surprise, they can’t! Programmed only to assess legal facts, these android jurors are all about logic and reason – basically, the antithesis of a Trump Twitter rant. - Auditioning for a role in Bird Box 2
The jurors could be taking the ‘see no evil’ thing a bit too far. Next, they’ll be wearing blindfolds to ensure they remain extra unbiased—or maybe just to avoid watching another episode of Courtroom Apprentice. - They are all just shy
It’s not every day you get to ignore a former president while weighing his fate. Maybe it’s like meeting a celebrity where you’re supposed to act cool and indifferent but inside, you’re freaking out. - Secret competition: who can ignore Trump the longest?
Maybe there’s a hidden reality show within the trial, “Ignore the Ex-President.” Winner gets a vacation far away from political dramas, or at least a subscription to a less traumatic channel than the news.
The Hot Take
Trump’s legal entanglements couldn’t have been more fittingly absurd if they were scripted by a room of comedy writers high on political satire. If they were aiming for a legal documentarian drama, they missed and hit a surreal comedy instead. So, how do we fix this mess?
Like turning off a bad reality show: change the channel. Encourage political involvement that focuses on real issues rather than sensationalized courtroom dramas. Maybe add a dash of voter education with a sprinkle of campaign finance reform to bring some dignity back to democracy. We’ve had enough of courtroom blockbusters—we’re ready for some actual leadership without the side of scandal.
Source: Trump’s Jurors Hardly Look at Him. Trial Experts Call That a Good Sign
