Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
In a stunning display of what can be achieved when students more or less hold their ground and administrators finally start using their ears for something other than holding up glasses, Brown University protesters have decided to pack up their camp and retreat. This, of course, is not without the university graciously bending enough to let a sliver of common sense slip through their hallowed administrative halls.
According to the Axios piece, an agreement was reached that supposedly addresses the concerns that led to the encampment in the first place. Victory? Maybe. Or maybe it’s just a beautifully repackaged version of, “let’s call it a win, so everyone can get some sleep.”
The Breakdown:
- Students Decide Camping is Only Fun When Not Done in Protest:
- The hard truth? If you’re camping out for fun, there’s probably a toasted marshmallow somewhere in your immediate future. Camp out to protest? The best you might get is your university deciding that maybe, just perhaps, they’ll listen to your little gripes. The Brown students setting up tents shows the lengths to which they’ll go to make a point. Meanwhile, the administration probably spent half the time wondering if this was a new kind of outdoor festival they hadn’t heard of.
- The hard truth? If you’re camping out for fun, there’s probably a toasted marshmallow somewhere in your immediate future. Camp out to protest? The best you might get is your university deciding that maybe, just perhaps, they’ll listen to your little gripes. The Brown students setting up tents shows the lengths to which they’ll go to make a point. Meanwhile, the administration probably spent half the time wondering if this was a new kind of outdoor festival they hadn’t heard of.
- University’s Lightning-Fast Speed of Action:
- Oh, how quick on their feet! If only they reacted this swiftly to all issues. A mere month or two of camping out, and voilà, progress appears like a rare Pokémon. It’s thrilling to see the pace at which change occurs when it’s directly outside your office window.
- Oh, how quick on their feet! If only they reacted this swiftly to all issues. A mere month or two of camping out, and voilà, progress appears like a rare Pokémon. It’s thrilling to see the pace at which change occurs when it’s directly outside your office window.
- Groundbreaking Agreement That Probably Should’ve Been Standard Policy:
- The agreement reached likely covers radical demands such as, I don’t know, fair treatment? Accessible resources? Truly groundbreaking stuff in the higher education playbook. Next thing you know, they’ll expect clean water and functioning WiFi.
- The agreement reached likely covers radical demands such as, I don’t know, fair treatment? Accessible resources? Truly groundbreaking stuff in the higher education playbook. Next thing you know, they’ll expect clean water and functioning WiFi.
- Protesters with Nowhere to Shower:
- Let no one say protesting doesn’t stink. It does! Literally. These students were out there battling personal hygiene warfare, just to have the basic conversation about “rights” and “policies.” Heroes or just very, very persistent? Both.
- Let no one say protesting doesn’t stink. It does! Literally. These students were out there battling personal hygiene warfare, just to have the basic conversation about “rights” and “policies.” Heroes or just very, very persistent? Both.
- The Grand Packing Up:
- Picture it: a slow, dramatic fold-up of tents with a somber background score, as students trudge away slightly less burdened, and administration breathes a sigh of misplaced relief. Until next semester, of course.
- Picture it: a slow, dramatic fold-up of tents with a somber background score, as students trudge away slightly less burdened, and administration breathes a sigh of misplaced relief. Until next semester, of course.
The Counter:
- Camping Builds Character:
- Seriously, who needs character-building classes when you have good old-fashioned protest camping? Nothing teaches resilience like a campus lawn under your sleeping bag and the looming threat of an unimpressed dean.
- Seriously, who needs character-building classes when you have good old-fashioned protest camping? Nothing teaches resilience like a campus lawn under your sleeping bag and the looming threat of an unimpressed dean.
- Administrative Snail Mail:
- Maybe the administration is on to something with their glacial pace. It really builds anticipation. Like a season finale cliff-hanger. Will they? Won’t they? Tune in for next semester’s bureaucratic crawl!
- Maybe the administration is on to something with their glacial pace. It really builds anticipation. Like a season finale cliff-hanger. Will they? Won’t they? Tune in for next semester’s bureaucratic crawl!
- The Revolutionary Agreement:
- Kudos for reaching an agreement that could very well have been an email. But then, how would they fill their annual quotas for meetings and the appearance of thorough deliberation?
- Kudos for reaching an agreement that could very well have been an email. But then, how would they fill their annual quotas for meetings and the appearance of thorough deliberation?
- Hygiene Overrated:
- Who needs showers when you’re making a statement? Protest stench is the new eau de resistance. Wear it with pride, young warriors!
- Who needs showers when you’re making a statement? Protest stench is the new eau de resistance. Wear it with pride, young warriors!
- Next Year’s Protest Prep:
- Lessons learned. Next year’s protesters can now start a Pinterest board for “Chic Protest Lifestyles” and “DIY Campus Protest Essentials.”
- Lessons learned. Next year’s protesters can now start a Pinterest board for “Chic Protest Lifestyles” and “DIY Campus Protest Essentials.”
The Hot Take:
Here’s the hilarious, yet scarily effective, solution: Let’s replace university administrators with some of our brightest comedians. I mean, at least when something absurd gets decided, it’ll be funny instead of depressing. Comedians as deans and rectors could very well be the breakthrough in university governance we didn’t know we needed.
Campus life would be a riot, literally, and figuratively. Students wouldn’t spend time deciphering bureaucratic nonsense but rather splitting sides over the real-life satire of their curriculum. As for agreements? Handled in between standup sets and improv, ensuring everyone leaves the table with a smile. Might not solve all the problems, but hey, at least we’ll be laughing while Rome burns.
Sometimes, it takes a tent to make a point. And remember, if the administrative change doesn’t work out, there’s always next semester’s campout to plan!
Source: Brown protesters disband camp after reaching agreement with university
