Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Source: San Francisco Airport to name international terminal in honor of late Sen. Dianne Feinstein
The Details
Alright folks, strap in because we’re about to dissect the fascinating world of airport terminal naming. Yes, you heard it right, it’s the big leagues now. San Francisco Airport’s International Terminal is about to get a shiny new name tag in honor of none other than the late Sen. Dianne Feinstein. Now, this is a woman who apparently did so much, they’re slapping her name onto a place where thousands of people will blissfully ignore it as they frantically check their departure gates. It’s a grand gesture for someone who served as Mayor of San Francisco and as a U.S. Senator. But let’s be honest, it’s an airport terminal – the place where the romance of travel goes to die amongst the scent of fast food and duty-free perfume.
The Breakdown
- Feinstein’s Eternal Layover:
They say naming buildings after people is an honor, but let’s face it, when that building is an airport terminal, what we’re really saying is, “Thanks for your service, now enjoy watching over thousands of jet-lagged travelers misplacing their boarding passes.” - The San Francisco Treat or Travesty?:
Some might see this naming as a sincere tribute. Others, possibly as opportunistic as a three-card Monty game on Fisherman’s Wharf. But hey, if we’re handing out terminal names like they’re going out of style, can someone get me a “Lewis Black Baggage Claim”? I want travelers to think of me every time their luggage goes missing. - A Flight of Fancy or Just Plane Strange?:
Surely, there are countless ways to honor a politician’s legacy. But nothing says “democracy in action” like knowing someone will forever associate your years of public service with the anxiety of catching a connecting flight. - A Terminal Decision:
To those involved in this decision, was there a point where someone paused and said, “Is this the legacy she hoped for?” Or was it more a case of, “Well, we’ve run out of bridges…” - Sky-High Honor or Just Another Place to Charge Your Phone?:
In the grand scheme of things, is having your name on a terminal better or worse than a park bench plaque? At least at a park bench, someone’s enjoying the scenery. Here, they’re just hoping the Wi-Fi holds up long enough to stream something – anything – during a delay.
The Counter
- Terminal Velocity:
Sure, Feinstein’s legacy is taking off in ways we never imagined. Next thing you know, there’ll be “Feinstein Frappuccinos” at the Starbucks right before TSA. - A Monument to Mobility:
They say a senator’s work is never done. Well, neither is the work of anyone trying to locate their gate in a Feinstein-sized terminal. It’s like a treasure hunt, except the prize is getting to leave. - The Departure from Obscurity:
One thing’s for certain: a terminal is one heck of a way to make sure the name Feinstein doesn’t just blend into the pages of a history textbook. - Celebrity Airspace:
Move over Hollywood Walk of Fame, Feinstein’s got a terminal. What’s the measure of success now? A star on the sidewalk or your name on the departure boards? - A Layover in Legacy:
Just think, generations to come will wander those hallowed halls, looking up at the signage and uttering the eternal words of travelers everywhere: “Who?”
The Hot Take
Now listen up because here’s my red-hot, liberal panacea for the whole thing. How about we name things after achievements that mean something to everyday people? Let’s rename something mind-bogglingly useful – like a free clinic or a funded library. Or even better, a renewable energy plant that actually addresses the climate crisis. But, sure, let’s go with an airport terminal because nothing says progress like a building where people get pat down and pay ten bucks for a bottle of water.
