Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
Source: DILEMMA: The internal RIFT at CNN over coverage of Donald Trump
The Details
In what feels like entertainment straight outta cable’s golden sarcophagus, we’ve got CNN—an acronym I assume now stands for ‘Continuously Nurturing Nonsense’—experiencing a bit of a telenovela twist. They’re tied up in knots, like a pretzel that’s gotten way too familiar with its yoga instructor, all thanks to—you guessed it—Donald Trump. And while Trump’s abilities lean more towards splitting the nation than the atom, this time he’s managed to cleave a news network right down the discombobulated middle. So, grab your popcorn or your headache meds, because either way, it’s a bumpy dive into the bizarre world where news coverage becomes as dramatic as reality TV.
The Breakdown
- CNN’s Identity Crisis: To Air or Not to Air Trump’s Antics: Remember when news was about information instead of inflamation? CNN’s staff is reportedly split over whether to give Trump screen time, like a bunch of kids squabbling over who gets to watch cartoons and who’s stuck with the educational programming. Except the cartoon’s a rerun, and the education’s in what not to do.
- The argument is like choosing between a root canal and passing a kidney stone: cover Trump and suffer the pains of sensationalism, or ignore him and risk missing out on the next circus act that commands eyeballs.
- The Ratings Game: Juggling Journalism with Jester Acts: There’s a faction in CNN that might as well be taking tightrope lessons because they are balancing the ethical highwire act of journalism against the clown car of ratings. It’s the age-old fight for the soul of the profession, except now they’ve sold popcorn and made it pay-per-view.
- Staffers are raising the red flag, terrified that the number crunchers would rather turn the network into a reality show starring political Kardashians, all in the quest for a juicier narrative and thicker wallets.
- ‘Rift’ or the New Script?: The whispers speak of an ‘internal rift’ at CNN, a term so quaint it almost makes the situation sound sophisticated. This isn’t Masterpiece Theatre; it’s more like a poorly rehearsed improv group where half the participants forgot the world’s watching.
- Some say the network is in grave danger of becoming ‘Fox News Lite,’ a festive mix of melodrama and fearmongering, just with slightly better lighting and less shouting.
- The Nostalgia for ‘Actual News’: A small, brave contingent within the channel pines for the days when ‘breaking news’ didn’t mean something as consequential as Trump’s latest tweet about his golf score.
- This is the crew that believes news should inform rather than deform, but let’s face it, they might as well be trying to teach a goldfish to recite Shakespeare.
- The Exasperation with Trump’s Reality Show: Fact or fiction? News or theatrics? At this point, it’s harder to tell than trying to find meaning in a Jackson Pollock splatter. Trump’s antics have left CNN’s executives scratching their heads like they’ve all simultaneously developed a severe case of dandruff.
- The drama within the network plays out like a tug-of-war with an invisible rope, or, more aptly, a noose that tightens with every mention of the T-word.
The Counter
- The “Let’s Pretend He Doesn’t Exist” Strategy: Oh sure, let’s just pretend the elephant isn’t doing the macarena in the room. That’ll make for some quality programming. Plus, it’s not like history’s ever taught us that ignoring problems makes them disappear, right?
- This is the equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and humming loudly while your house burns down. Great plan.
- “Trump Who?” The Selective Amnesia Approach: The concept is almost as innovative as the invention of sliced bread—if the bread was made of stale ideas. CNN considering to sideline Trump is like a soap opera deciding to drop its lead character who’s been married eight times and come back from the dead twice.
- Let’s not kid ourselves, the network’s ratings might need the defibrillator if they go through with it. Who needs audience engagement when you can have principled obscurity?
- “Balance Is Overrated” Philosophy: It’s either all Trump or no Trump, like dieting by only eating salads or only eating cheesecakes. Middle ground? What is this, a Tolkien novel?
- Any pretense of balance at this point is more of a hallucination, rivaled only by sightings of unicorns at the local bar.
- The Great Ratings Sacrifice: Some suggest that sacrificing ratings on the altar of journalistic integrity is the way to go. It’s a concept so noble, it might just be accompanied by harp music and a choir of angels.
- Watch as CNN transforms from a lion of coverage to a mouse hiding under the furniture, nibbling on crumbs of dignity while the ratings party rages on elsewhere.
- Glutton for Punishment: For some, covering Trump is like returning to an ex who keeps setting your life ablaze—surely this time it’ll be different, right?
- The newsroom buzzes with the thrill of self-flagellation. Yet another Trump story? Whip out the cat-o’-nine-tails and have at it, then!
The Hot Take
Listen folks, if CNN really wants to cut the Gordian knot and save the realm from the barrage of Trumpian theatre, maybe they should try something truly revolutionary—like actual news! Imagine a broadcast that focuses on the issues without playing into the spray-tanned hands of a reality star-turned-politico. It’s not about ignoring the man; it’s about anchoring the circus tent with some journalistic gravitas. So here’s a thought: cover policies, not personalities. Dive into analyses that don’t require a laugh track. And if all else fails, maybe switch to coverage of competitive origami—that stuff’s peaceful and nobody’s hair gets messed up. After all, a well-folded paper swan might be the only thing that can smoothly navigate the choppy waters of today’s media landscape.
