Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
When you think the parade of insanity known as drug pricing in America couldn’t get any more ludicrous, Bernie Sanders decides to grab a torch and pitchfork and storm the castle of Big Pharma overlords. Sanders, in a move that surprises absolutely no one, has launched an investigation into what he calls “unacceptable” pricing of diabetes and weight loss medications. Because, why not? It’s not as if people actually need these life-saving drugs at affordable prices, right?
The Breakdown
- Profit Over Patients: The Classic Pharma Story
- Let’s face it, if you had the recipe for a potion that everyone needed to literally keep breathing, wouldn’t you want to charge a Mercedes for a spoonful? Big Pharma seems to run on the age-old strategy of profit maximization, except here the stakes are people’s lives, not just their wallets.
- Let’s face it, if you had the recipe for a potion that everyone needed to literally keep breathing, wouldn’t you want to charge a Mercedes for a spoonful? Big Pharma seems to run on the age-old strategy of profit maximization, except here the stakes are people’s lives, not just their wallets.
- Sanders Steps In: The White Knight We Didn’t Ask For But Probably Need
- Bernie Sanders swings in like the senior citizen we all underestimated at the bingo night. He’s not just shaking fists at clouds but at real stormy issues like drug pricing. And it’s about time someone did, right? Cue heroic music.
- Bernie Sanders swings in like the senior citizen we all underestimated at the bingo night. He’s not just shaking fists at clouds but at real stormy issues like drug pricing. And it’s about time someone did, right? Cue heroic music.
- Outrageous Pricing: Because You Can’t Just Be Sick Anymore
- Why should getting sick come cheap? Nowadays, suffering from something like diabetes demands not only your pancreas but also your life savings. Prices have surged, and Big Pharma certainly hasn’t missed an opportunity to make a luxury brand out of your medical necessities.
- Why should getting sick come cheap? Nowadays, suffering from something like diabetes demands not only your pancreas but also your life savings. Prices have surged, and Big Pharma certainly hasn’t missed an opportunity to make a luxury brand out of your medical necessities.
- Societal Impact: Ignite The Torch, Folks
- The everyday Joe can’t catch a break. If the disease doesn’t kill you, the stress of the drug prices will. It turns out that maintaining a healthy bank account is just as hard as maintaining a healthy body in America.
- The everyday Joe can’t catch a break. If the disease doesn’t kill you, the stress of the drug prices will. It turns out that maintaining a healthy bank account is just as hard as maintaining a healthy body in America.
- Corporate Cockiness: Bigger Than the Government
The Counter
- But They Need Profit to Innovate, Right?
- Sure, let’s slap a price tag on innovation and call it a day. If life-saving drugs don’t cost your firstborn, are they even researched well? Clearly, affordability is just a myth like unicorns or comfortable hospital gowns.
- Sure, let’s slap a price tag on innovation and call it a day. If life-saving drugs don’t cost your firstborn, are they even researched well? Clearly, affordability is just a myth like unicorns or comfortable hospital gowns.
- It’s Just Business, Nothing Personal
- Absolutely, let’s not get emotional about people needing medication to live. Business is business. If you can’t afford your medication, maybe you just aren’t working hard enough. Pull yourself up by your syringe caps!
- Absolutely, let’s not get emotional about people needing medication to live. Business is business. If you can’t afford your medication, maybe you just aren’t working hard enough. Pull yourself up by your syringe caps!
- Economics 101: Demand and Supply
- People demand to stay alive; pharmacies supply the means at a ‘nominal’ fee. It’s just classic economics with a side of blatant exploitation. Didn’t you pay attention in school?
- People demand to stay alive; pharmacies supply the means at a ‘nominal’ fee. It’s just classic economics with a side of blatant exploitation. Didn’t you pay attention in school?
- Government Interference: Sanders the Meddler
- Why should government meddle in the free market’s perfect balance of astronomical prices and public outcry? Bernie should just stick to yelling at the TV like a proper retiree.
- Why should government meddle in the free market’s perfect balance of astronomical prices and public outcry? Bernie should just stick to yelling at the TV like a proper retiree.
- Survival of the Fittest: Natural Selection via Wallet
The Hot Take
If laughter is the best medicine, Big Pharma is probably trying to patent that too. How do we solve this mess? Well, Bernie’s on the right track, but let’s crank it up a notch. Why not make every congressional leader switch their health plan to whatever the average Joe has? Two weeks tops, and we’d see drug prices drop faster than your blood sugar with an actual working insulin prescription.
Maybe every Pharma CEO should be required to live on the average diabetic’s budget for a month. Nothing like a little real-world experience to foster empathy and perhaps terror at the thought of the next refill.
Hey, if all else fails, let’s just nationalize Big Pharma. I mean, if they’re more powerful than the government, perhaps it’s time they become the government. Let the lawmakers get a taste of their medicine—literally.
Laugh, cry, or scream — choose your reaction. Either way, it’s going to be an uproarious adventure as we watch Sanders take on the titans of the tablet.
Source: Sanders launches investigation into ‘unacceptable’ diabetes, weight loss drug prices
