Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
In a mesmerizing display of what can only be described as academic pandemonium meets law enforcement overzealousness, professors at a university were given a hands-on workshop by the local police on ‘How to Clear a Protest 101.’ Apparently, these intrepid academics, usually found lost amid dusty tomes and heated debates over Kant’s categorical imperative, decided to take their grievances outside the confines of lecture halls. And well, the local police weren’t going to stand idly by and let a PowerPoint interruption slide without some serious drama.
The Breakdown
- Last Week in Pepper Spray Perfumery
- Picture this: seasoned professors swapping their chalks for placards and, in return, getting a firsthand taste of tear gas. Because nothing says ‘public safety’ like ensuring these dangerous educators can’t see clearly for days.
- Picture this: seasoned professors swapping their chalks for placards and, in return, getting a firsthand taste of tear gas. Because nothing says ‘public safety’ like ensuring these dangerous educators can’t see clearly for days.
- DIY Diploma in Criminal Justice
- The Riot Gear Fashion Show
- This season’s latest in police fashion: heavy boots and shields, which seem to have become quite the trend when stomping through university greens. Practical? Yes. Overkill? Definitely. But hey, they do come with matching batons!
- This season’s latest in police fashion: heavy boots and shields, which seem to have become quite the trend when stomping through university greens. Practical? Yes. Overkill? Definitely. But hey, they do come with matching batons!
- Book Smarts vs. Baton Smarts
- Academic qualifications faced off against baton qualifications. Spoiler alert: the batons won. Academia could really use more defense modules, perhaps starting with ‘How to Duck 101.’
- Academic qualifications faced off against baton qualifications. Spoiler alert: the batons won. Academia could really use more defense modules, perhaps starting with ‘How to Duck 101.’
- The Art of Pepper Spray and Chill
- What better way for law enforcement to demonstrate their chill and composed demeanor than a casual pepper spray session? It’s a little-known fact that tear gas can really open up the pores—and the dialogue, evidently not.
- What better way for law enforcement to demonstrate their chill and composed demeanor than a casual pepper spray session? It’s a little-known fact that tear gas can really open up the pores—and the dialogue, evidently not.
The Counter
- Tact and Diplomacy, or Just Send in the Clowns?
- Surely, the reasonable approach here was a discussion? But, I guess, in the tactical playbook, negotiation comes right after we run out of tear gas.
- Surely, the reasonable approach here was a discussion? But, I guess, in the tactical playbook, negotiation comes right after we run out of tear gas.
- Everyone Stay Calm, but Watch Out for Those Armed with Posters
- Fear the scholarly type bearing leaflets and demands. Their weapon of choice? Facts. And we can’t be having that now, can we?
- Fear the scholarly type bearing leaflets and demands. Their weapon of choice? Facts. And we can’t be having that now, can we?
- Understanding the True Enemy: Educated Opinions
- It’s clear that the greatest threat to order is not actual crime, but educated people with opinions. The nerve!
- It’s clear that the greatest threat to order is not actual crime, but educated people with opinions. The nerve!
- Embrace the Overreaction
- If you’re not overreacting, are you even reacting? Here’s to always meeting a pen with a sword. Or in this case, a notebook with a shield.
- If you’re not overreacting, are you even reacting? Here’s to always meeting a pen with a sword. Or in this case, a notebook with a shield.
- A Teachable Moment, Missed
- Perhaps the police missed an opportunity here to study ‘Conflict Resolution’ by the very professors they arrested. Now, isn’t that the ultimate irony?
- Perhaps the police missed an opportunity here to study ‘Conflict Resolution’ by the very professors they arrested. Now, isn’t that the ultimate irony?
The Hot Take
In the grand, fiery forge of liberal wisdom, if one wishes to rectify the egregious missteps witnessed between law enforcement and academia, one must simply infuse a bit more education into our police training.
Maybe cram a few lessons in between SWAT drills on the fine art of dialogue, negotiation, and, dare we say, empathy. Because when the dust settles, and the smoke clears, wouldn’t it be groundbreaking if the pen could actually be mightier than the sword, or at least mightier than whatever is spritzed out of a pepper spray can?
Source: Professors arrested as police use ‘violence’ to clear university camp
