Update — October 30, 2026: The White House now says Trump will hold back-to-back rallies in Kansas and Iowa on Sunday, in addition to nearly twenty tele-rallies. The Guardian reported the reversal at 10:20 a.m. Eastern. The article below discusses the earlier cancellations and Trump’s explanation at that time; both in-person events are now back on the announced schedule.

Donald Trump canceled campaign rallies in Kansas and Iowa as the White House announced plans for more than twenty tele-rallies before Election Day. He still planned to rally in Florida on Friday. Asked whether he was sick of traveling, he attacked the reporter and said Kansas Sen. Roger Marshall was doing so well that a visit wasn't necessary.

A CNN poll cited by USA TODAY put Marshall at 45 percent and Democrat Adam Hamilton at 49 percent. That's a poll, not an election result. It is nevertheless an unusual place to hang the MISSION ACCOMPLISHED banner. You'd have to stretch it across the four-point gap and hope nobody tried to walk on it.

Campaigns change schedules. NBC reports Trump had traveled on twenty-two of the first twenty-eight days of October, visiting nineteen states. Nobody needs to invent a medical explanation for wanting a different itinerary. The White House says tele-rallies will expand his reach and make better use of his time.

There. An answer. It fits inside an ordinary sentence. You could carry it onto a plane without checking it.

Trump instead told the reporter he was sick to ask the question, defended his health and attacked the reporter's appearance. The question was whether he was sick OF TRAVELING.

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OF. That little preposition standing there with its bags while the president boards an entirely different argument.

If I say I'm sick of airport parking, I am not asking you to examine my kidneys. If I say a flight cost an arm and a leg, please do not summon the fucking surgeon. We have to leave some room in the English language for things that aren't a physical examination.

THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT THE TRIP. THE TRIP HAS BEEN CANCELED. THE REPORTER'S BODY IS NOT ON THE ITINERARY.

I would settle for the scheduling explanation. Honestly. The president has been traveling a lot; telephone events reach more places. Put that in a statement and let everyone go eat a sandwich without having the sandwich interpreted as a challenge to the commander in chief.

But then there's the reason Trump did give: Marshall is doing very well, so he doesn't need to go.

Now Republican candidates have to interpret the president's absence as a compliment. Imagine waiting by the campaign office phone, delighted that help isn't coming. Nothing says confidence like trying to explain to volunteers that the empty stage is an endorsement you can walk through.

And twenty-plus tele-rallies are still planned. So Kansas apparently doesn't need a visit, but may still receive presidential encouragement through the speakerphone. Success has been downgraded to audio-only.

COULD WE JUST SAY THE PLAN CHANGED? Without making the reporter unhealthy and the missing president a trophy?

Leave the podium empty if that's the strategy. Stop asking it to take a victory lap.