The 2026 midterms will determine who controls Congress and whether President Donald Trump faces stronger Democratic opposition. Trump has been campaigning on another urgent question: Does the legislative branch have a good side?

According to the Associated Press, Trump’s appearance appraisals have become a recurring part of his pitch for Republican candidates. At Saturday’s Kentucky rally, he called House candidate Ed Gallrein a “beautiful guy” from “central casting.” Gallrein is a former Navy SEAL. That is a substantial résumé to bring to an audition for the role of Man Who Looks Like He Could Be a Navy SEAL.

Trump previously owned the Miss Universe pageant and starred in “The Apprentice,” so evaluating people’s presentation is familiar territory. Congress presents a slight complication: The contestants who lose his approval can still subpoena people. It’s a difficult format to sell to a producer.

Ohio Sen. Jon Husted received a particularly detailed endorsement. Trump joked about examining Husted’s ass, then described looking at his shoulders, feet, hand and jawline. Most candidates would be delighted to hear that the president knows their record. Husted gets to hear that the president knows where all his parts are. An impressive inventory for a job whose essential equipment is a desk and a vote.

Texas Republican Senate candidate Ken Paxton got the less flattering treatment. Trump criticized his looks and suit, but said his conservative record as attorney general spoke louder. Finally, a path forward for substance in American politics: It must shout over the jacket. Paxton offers hope to any aspiring public servant worried that insufficient cheekbones might prevent a lifetime of ideological commitment from being recognized.

The standards become more demanding across the aisle. Trump compared Democratic Senate candidate James Talarico to MAD magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman and Georgia Sen. Jon Ossoff to Pee-wee Herman. At Friday’s Georgia rally, he disputed the idea that Ossoff was good-looking while praising Republican challenger Mike Collins’s appearance. He also complimented Republican gubernatorial nominee Rick Jackson. The party line is clear: Republicans photograph well, except when they don’t; Democrats photograph badly, including when Trump has to argue the point.

There is a practical problem with this recruitment pitch. A handsome senator gets exactly as many votes as an unhandsome one. Excellent shoulders do not move a bill out of committee. Even a perfectly tailored majority might ask questions that aren’t about where the president gets his suits.

The country is deciding who gets to check the president. The president is checking their jawlines.