Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
You’ve clicked on this because the world as we know it runs on the absurdity of politics, and nothing spells absurd like contemplating whether seizing a former president’s assets is a risk or a comedy bit gone too far. So, let’s take a fanciful dive into this Pandora’s box that even Pandora was too scared to open.
1. Seize the Day, or Seize the Assets?
- In AOC’s Wisdom: Why worry about small potatoes like healthcare when you can play hot potato with the ex-commander-in-chief’s checkbook?
2. There’s Risk, and Then There’s ‘Risk’
- Calculated Catastrophes: Is it riskier than betting that the espresso machine will work on the Hill on a Monday morning? Only time will tell.
3. Political Jenga – Pulling Blocks from Trump’s Tower
- A Game of Strategy: They say if you pull the right one, you could bring the whole tower down. Or maybe just get a stern tweet written about you.
4. Hide and Seek – Asset Edition
- A Nation’s Favorite Pastime: Like looking for Waldo, but at the end, it’s just Trump’s golf clubs and a stack of nondisclosure agreements.
5. The Sword of Damocles or Just Legal Paperwork?
- Judgment Day: A well-intended sword hung by a single hair. Only this time, it’s a wig, and it has a trademark.
The Counter
Now, lest we forget there’s always another side to the coin, a yang to the yin, an alternative fact to well, the fact.
1. Trump Change
- Asset Affection: As the saying goes, you have to break a few banks to make…a Trump Tower.
2. A Matter of Principle(s)
- Quantifying Quirks: Because seizing assets without cause would be as unheard of as a politician bending the truth.
3. The Art of the Deal
- Tactical Fiction: It’s only a bad deal if you admit it’s a bad deal.
4. Don’t Tread on My Golf Courses
- Green Politics: These putting greens have seen more diplomatic action than the U.N.
5. Asset Forfeiture or Fortune Telling?
- Prophetic Economics: Will we see the fall of an empire or just another chapter in ‘The Apprentice: Presidential Edition’?
The Hot Take
In this beautiful cesspool of political tug-of-war, what’s the liberal hot sauce to sprinkle over this controversy? The answer is as simple as it is convoluted. First, ensure every politician’s assets are as transparent as the Emperor’s new clothes. Second, remember, my fellow Americans, if you’re going to seize, seize with panache, and maybe a jazz band. Third, and most importantly, get a laugh because in the political theatre, if you’re not laughing, you’re probably running for office.
Source: Ocasio-Cortez says there is a ‘risk’ to not seizing Trump’s assets
