Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
In the latest chapter of “As The World Burns,” former President Trump has once again set the political atmosphere ablaze with his enigmatic proclamation that Democrats are, and I paraphrase with all the finesse of a sledgehammer, endorsing the ‘execution’ of babies after birth.
Now, folks, if you’ve ever fancied a descent into the noxious netherworld of bombastic balderdash, this is it. This is the sort of fiction that could only be concocted within the twisted realms of Trump’s cranium, a place where hyperbole and fact are interchangeable playthings, and the English language goes to die a slow, painful death.
The Breakdown
- Hyperbole Overload: Trump’s rhetoric has reached new heights, or should I say depths, depending on your metaphorical preferences. The man’s talent for spinning yarns is so prolific; he could single-handedly keep a Victorian sweatshop in business.
- He paints a picture so dystopian it makes “1984” look like a Dr. Seuss book, in which Democrats are skulking around nursery wards with scythes. I guess the Grim Reaper is now the newest party mascot?
- He paints a picture so dystopian it makes “1984” look like a Dr. Seuss book, in which Democrats are skulking around nursery wards with scythes. I guess the Grim Reaper is now the newest party mascot?
- The Exaggeration Exposition: The former leader of the free world seems to think Democrats are holding council with the likes of Voldemort on ethical policy.
- Consider this: perhaps Trump has misunderstood the term ‘born politicos’ and took it quite literally. I’d say it’s a comprehension issue, but that might imply there’s something to comprehend.
- Consider this: perhaps Trump has misunderstood the term ‘born politicos’ and took it quite literally. I’d say it’s a comprehension issue, but that might imply there’s something to comprehend.
- The Diabolical Doctors: Trump would have you believe that physicians are doubling as secret agents, operating under deep cover to perform heinous acts in the name of the left.
- It’s like an episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” crossed with “The Americans.” Except, in this show, the drama is too unhinged for Shonda Rhimes to touch with a 10-foot pole.
- It’s like an episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” crossed with “The Americans.” Except, in this show, the drama is too unhinged for Shonda Rhimes to touch with a 10-foot pole.
- Alternative Facts as an Art Form: Honestly, the affinity for alternative facts here is so robust that it could be its own art movement. Trumpism could hang right beside Surrealism, and it wouldn’t look out of place.
- Dare we consider it a new form of performance art? One where the endgame is seeing how far reality can be stretched before it snaps back like a rubber band, smacking us all in the face?
- Dare we consider it a new form of performance art? One where the endgame is seeing how far reality can be stretched before it snaps back like a rubber band, smacking us all in the face?
- Revisionist ‘History’: It seems we have traveled back in time to Salem, Massachusetts, but instead of witch trials, we have birth-room tribunals led by the Democrats, according to Sir Trump-a-lot.
- This kind of narrative could only be more embellished if it came with a side of sequins and a feather boa.
- This kind of narrative could only be more embellished if it came with a side of sequins and a feather boa.
The Counter
- Reality Check: Trump might benefit from a brief encounter with reality, preferably a long-term relationship, but we’ll take a one-night stand if that’s all he can commit to.
- And, in this fleeting moment of clarity, perhaps he might see that the political opposition doesn’t have a covert “baby hit squad.”
- And, in this fleeting moment of clarity, perhaps he might see that the political opposition doesn’t have a covert “baby hit squad.”
- Grammar or Grandeur? We challenge our eloquent former President to occasionally put less emphasis on grandiose statements and more on the peculiar construct that is the English sentence.
- There’s something poetic about a man who could greatly improve public discourse by simply using a period now and then.
- There’s something poetic about a man who could greatly improve public discourse by simply using a period now and then.
- A Prescription for Truth: Maybe it’s time to prescribe a healthy dose of reality to combat the delusions. Can we get a doctor to write that, or are they all too busy conducting illicit activities in the nursery?
- If they are available, maybe they can throw in a placebo. It can’t hurt, might help!
- If they are available, maybe they can throw in a placebo. It can’t hurt, might help!
- Fable’s Morale: Every fable has a moral, and in Trump’s latest tale, it seems to be: if you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. Which, coincidentally, appears to be his life philosophy.
- It’s almost as if he’s trying to out-Grimm the Brothers Grimm.
- It’s almost as if he’s trying to out-Grimm the Brothers Grimm.
- Tale of the Tape: If we rewind the tape, we might just find that these bombastic claims often have the lifespan of a mayfly. An ugly, hateful mayfly, but a mayfly nonetheless.
- And at the end of the day, like any breathless soap opera, the truth will outlast the cliffhangers.
- And at the end of the day, like any breathless soap opera, the truth will outlast the cliffhangers.
The Hot Take
So here we are, at the end of our dark fairytale, grappling with the gaslit reality that’s been woven for us. If asked for a solution to these outright fairytales of post-birth assassinations, one might suggest a return to a time when politicians argued over mere policy details and left the horror fiction to Stephen King.
My liberal leanings say education is key. Educating on actual reproductive rights, healthcare, and, dare I say, basic human compassion? But then, how does one educate the self-proclaimed ‘very stable genius’? Now that, my friends, would be a very valuable lesson, indeed.
Source: Trump doubles down on claim that Democrats ‘execute’ babies after birth
