Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Picture this: a sunny state with palm trees swaying, beaches that stretch for days, and—oh yeah—a crippling homelessness crisis that seems to have officials more baffled than a surfer trying to find a wave in the desert. This is California, the land where dreams are supposed to come true unless those dreams require a roof over your head.
As it happens, it appears that California’s grand plan to tackle homelessness is just to… not keep track of anything. Bravo, bureaucracy! You’ve outdone yourself this time. An audit—pretty much a report card for the bureaucratic boffins—found that in the grand poetic struggle to help the homeless, the Golden State is running on a treadmill: lots of motion, no forward progress.
The Breakdown
- The Head-Spinning Lack of Accountability
- In a move that makes magicians go, “Now, that’s a disappearing act!”, California officials have managed to spend $13 billion over three years without a plan. That’s like buying a car every day, only to forget where you parked it… repeatedly.
- In a move that makes magicians go, “Now, that’s a disappearing act!”, California officials have managed to spend $13 billion over three years without a plan. That’s like buying a car every day, only to forget where you parked it… repeatedly.
- The Mysterious Case of the Vanishing Objectives
- Objectives? What are those? Apparently, California’s preferred method is akin to throwing darts blindfolded, hoping to hit a target they can’t see, haven’t defined, and aren’t entirely sure exists.
- Objectives? What are those? Apparently, California’s preferred method is akin to throwing darts blindfolded, hoping to hit a target they can’t see, haven’t defined, and aren’t entirely sure exists.
- The Numbers Game No One’s Playing
- You’d think with $13 billion; you’d at least get a robust Excel spreadsheet. But no! California’s approach is more a retrospective, “Oh, was I supposed to count that?”
- You’d think with $13 billion; you’d at least get a robust Excel spreadsheet. But no! California’s approach is more a retrospective, “Oh, was I supposed to count that?”
- The ‘Let Them Eat Cake’ Strategic Plan
- With a hunger for solutions and an appetite for success, California officials decided instead to dine on empty calories of buzzwords and good intentions, handing out “help” that’s about as satisfying as a mirage to a thirsty traveler.
- With a hunger for solutions and an appetite for success, California officials decided instead to dine on empty calories of buzzwords and good intentions, handing out “help” that’s about as satisfying as a mirage to a thirsty traveler.
- The Bottomless Money Pit
- Imagine tossing cash into a well, making a wish for each dollar to end homelessness, and then discovering the well is actually a shredder. Well, behold the California fiscal strategy!
- Imagine tossing cash into a well, making a wish for each dollar to end homelessness, and then discovering the well is actually a shredder. Well, behold the California fiscal strategy!
The Counter
- Because Accountability Is Overrated
- Who needs progress reports when you can live off good intentions and hope? After all, it’s the thought that counts, right?
- Who needs progress reports when you can live off good intentions and hope? After all, it’s the thought that counts, right?
- Aimless Can Be a Strategy… Right?
- Remember, if you shoot in all directions, you can always claim you hit something. Good job, team synergy!
- Remember, if you shoot in all directions, you can always claim you hit something. Good job, team synergy!
- Counting Schmouting
- Why bother counting when you can spend your days swimming in a Scrooge McDuck-style vault of cash compliments of the taxpayer’s dime?
- Why bother counting when you can spend your days swimming in a Scrooge McDuck-style vault of cash compliments of the taxpayer’s dime?
- The Illusion of Action
- Do a lot, change nothing, and look busy. It’s like a perpetual motion machine, but instead of generating energy, it burns money.
- Do a lot, change nothing, and look busy. It’s like a perpetual motion machine, but instead of generating energy, it burns money.
- Money is Renewable, Isn’t It?
- California must have a magic beanstalk where money grows in place of beans. Why else would they treat billions like pocket change?
- California must have a magic beanstalk where money grows in place of beans. Why else would they treat billions like pocket change?
The Hot Take
Now, if I were to give you a nickel for every time someone said they’d solve homelessness, you’d probably be hustling to the nearest Coinstar machine. So, here’s the hot take, steaming like freshly tarred Los Angeles asphalt: start treating this crisis like your artisanal avocado toast—with care, intention, and maybe some well-placed red chili flakes for flavor.
First, let’s break out those spectacles and actually look at the problem. Then, you know, keep tabs on the solutions like they’re the script for the next billion-dollar superhero franchise. We can throw money at it, sure, but let’s also throw in a dash of good ol’ fashioned accountability. Because, believe it or not, knowing where the money goes is kinda important. We need goals as clear as the Hollywood sign on a rare smog-free day, and a plan that’s more detailed than your favorite barista’s tattoo sleeve.
Oh, and while we’re at it, maybe let’s finance homes instead of just hopes. Wild thought—I know. Actually use the funds to, I dunno, build something? Perhaps even affordable housing? Boom! That’s the mic drop. Now, go forth and actually do something other than keeping the seat warm.
Source: How effective are California’s homelessness programs? Audit finds state hasn’t been keeping track
