Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
The Women’s NCAA championship has just dunked a statistical three-pointer right through the hoop of public attention, outscoring the viewership of the men’s final. Who would’ve thought? Maybe it’s the pure, unadulterated passion for the sport, or perhaps a collective moment of enlightenment where we realized that hey, women can basketball too!
The Breakdown
- Well, Slap My Ankles and Call Me Shirley: Women are Ballin’ Out
It’s almost as if they put two hoops at each end of a court and let athletes—regardless of gender—shoot their shot. Crazy, right? The women’s NCAA championship isn’t just dribbling behind, it’s making a fast break past the men’s game. Could it be that fiendish strategy called ‘equality’? Or is this just some brazen fluke in the multiverse? - Sneakers Squeaking Louder Than Patriarchal Whispers
The echoes of a bouncing basketball are drowning out the murmurs of the ol’ boys’ club. It’s as if people enjoy a good game of basketball, even if it’s played by athletes who have never known the struggle of a razor against face. - The Stats Don’t Lie, But My Ex Certainly Did
With a headline screaming that the women’s NCAA final drew in more onlookers, one can’t help but think of all the other lies we’ve been fed. If we can underestimate women’s sports this much, what else is on the menu of make-believe? - Who Knew Equity Could Be So Entertaining?
Hold on to your backwards caps, folks. It turns out giving women the same level of promotion, prime-time TV slots, and quality exposure leads to… people watching their games? Who’d have thunk? What’s next? Equal pay? Oh, hold on, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. - The Plug-and-Play Method to Excellence
Well, when you broadcast the women’s games in time slots where people are actually awake, and you plug in some passionate commentary, would you look at that? The stadium looks a room at Hogwarts—magically full! Seems like the old recipe of ‘build it and they will come’ had a secret ingredient called ‘respect’.
The Counter
- It’s Just a Fluke Like My Uncle’s Underdog Lottery Win
Surely this is a one-off. Maybe all the men’s basketball fans were off that night busy ironing their socks. We can’t possibly expect this kind of ridiculous viewership for women’s sports to continue, right? - Maybe the Remote Batteries Died?
Thousands of televisions must have gotten stuck on the channel broadcasting the women’s game. That’s the only reasonable explanation for this phenomenon. So many accidental feminists born from sheer laziness. - Aliens Prefer Women’s Basketball?
The extraterrestrial demographic has been terribly underestimated in sports viewership analytics. And they, with their advanced intellects, clearly prefer the women’s game. Figures. - There’s Got to Be a Glitch in the Matrix
The fabric of reality is tearing apart when more eyes are watching women sweat it out for the championship title than the men’s. Neo, if you’re seeing this, we need a reset. - It Was Men Wearing Wigs, Right?
Maybe we’ve all been duped. It’d be much more comforting to assume that it wasn’t actually women playing but just men with ponytails and incredible acting skills. Our fragile conception of gender norms remains safe for another day.
The Hot Take
So here we are, at the end of our comically skewed foray into reality, staring at this newfound oasis of viewership. It’s as if all it took was providing the same level of respect and opportunity to women’s sports as the long-showered-upon men’s sports. Who’d have thought that equality could be so delectably entertaining?
To put out the fire of this trend before it really catches on, how about we sprinkle on a bit more sarcasm and pretend that everything is fine the way it was before? Alternatively, we could follow this harebrained approach of continuing to support and invest in women’s sports. Madness, perhaps, but it might just work.
Mayhaps the solution is to lean dramatically into this gender-bending wind of change. Let’s splash women’s sports across every screen, billboard, and cereal box until the mere thought of women not being equal participants in the arena of sweat and high-fives becomes preposterous. Because in reality, the only thing that needs fixing is our stubborn grip on outdated norms that say who can play ball and when they can do it.
Source: Women’s NCAA championship garners more viewers than men’s final
