Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
In a world brimming with faux pas and not-so-funny gaffes, we’ve got ourselves a kicker straight from the annals of ‘The Best People’. That’s right, we’re talking about the ex-leader of the free world, Mr. Trump, who has managed to produce an episode so comically ridiculous that it makes the ‘Home Alone 2: Lost in New York’ cameo seem like Oscar-worthy material. His team’s latest legal travesty? Subpoenaing the wrong person. Talk about an ace squad of legal eagles — if the ‘eagles’ had their GPS malfunctioning.
The Breakdown
- Oops, I Did It Again
Just when you thought the Trump legal charades couldn’t get any funnier, they serve up a subpoena to some random citizen rather than the intended big fish. The poor chap’s probably just as perplexed as we are—yet pining for the autographed misdelivery to sell on eBay. - A Game of Phones
True, winter is coming, but we’re not in Westeros, folks. We don’t send ravens, we use fancy technology, like phones, to actually check who we’re summoning to court. Seems the Trump team has yet to upgrade from their carrier pigeons, or at least their 2016 contacts list. - The Art of the Deal with Mistaken Identity
Donny’s book needs a new chapter catering to legal snafus and how to ‘unsubpoena’ innocent bystanders. Guaranteed bestseller in the ‘humor’ section, right next to joke books that third-graders scoff at. - Where’s Waldo—The Courtroom Edition
The legal squad is playing a game of judicial hide-and-seek, except they’re it, and they tagged the janitor thinking he was the CEO. Newsflash: The one with the mop isn’t usually the corporate bigwig. - Consider It a ‘Subpoena Draft’
Just as a rough draft, this subpoena was an attempt. Let’s blame it on the interns. After all, they’re handling high-stakes legal documents as if they were flipping burgers—no offense to burger flippers, you guys rarely make mistakes this big.
The Counter
- No Error, Just Alternative Subpoenas
Maybe it’s not a mistake; it’s an “alternative fact.” In the world ruled by the strangest Twitter fingers, a subpoena to a random person is just presidential flexing—because you can. - Finding the ‘Right’ Wrong Person
Breaking out of traditional confines, the Trump team is questioning everyone because, you know, why not? Next, they might just send a subpoena to Kevin from ‘Home Alone’ for outsmarting the Wet Bandits. - A Cover-up? More Like Cover-all
This isn’t a mess-up—it’s a strategy to cover all bases. You can’t miss your target if you just hit everyone in the vicinity. Legally bold. Tactically… questionable. - Subpoena Roulette
Perhaps it’s a new game: dispatch legal documents and see where they land—kind of like the judicial version of pin the tail on the donkey. Entertaining, if you ignore the actual law. - A New Reality Show: The Subpoena Apprentice
It’s a contest—who can serve the most subpoenas to random people? The winner gets a handshake from Trump and a lifetime supply of ‘covfefe’.
The Hot Take
In the grand scheme of political farces, this little gem is akin to finding a whoopee cushion on the Senate floor—it’s immature, embarrassing, the timing is impeccably bad, and yet we can’t help but let out a laugh. The solution, dear comrades in satire, is simple: Invest in a robust GPS—or perhaps just a phone book with current listings.
If our dear Mr. Trump can translate ‘The Art of the Deal’ into ‘The Art of the Real’ subpoena, he might just start hitting the mark. Until then, let’s pop the popcorn and watch this legal dramedy unfold. It’s better than cable.
Source: ‘The best people’: Trump drowned in mockery after his lawyers subpoena the wrong person
