Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Source: https://www.vox.com/even-better/24070588/seasonal-affective-disorder-mental-health-how-to-handle-winter-blues
The Details
So, there’s this cheerful article on Vox that’s spreading like the flu in a kindergarten classroom, enlightening us that the torment known as “winter blues” is not just your mother’s way of saying you’re lazy. Turns out, Seasonal Affective Disorder is an actual thing that makes people feel like a bear in need of hibernation, except without the sleep benefits.
Science says it’s the lack of sunlight messing with our brains, which, by the way, haven’t evolved much since we were painting in caves with our fingers. And because we’re such advanced creatures, our solution isn’t to roll back into the caves, but to create artificial suns indoors and pop Vitamin D like they’re Skittles.
The Breakdown
- Caveman Brain in the 21st Century
Good news: Human evolution peaked with the internet, right? Wrong. Our brains are still stuck trying to figure out fire while we attempt to navigate through the meat grinder that is the modern-day calendar without losing our marbles. - Sun, the Celestial Overlord
Sunlight has more control over our feelings than that ex who could never decide what they wanted for dinner. Without it, we’re like grumpy cats that can’t find the sunny spot on the carpet. - The Miracle of Vitamin D
We’ve gone from worshiping the sun gods to worshiping the pharmacy aisle. Apparently, swallowing a pill is our best battle strategy against the winter’s assault on our happiness. - Artificial Sunshine
Can’t get real sunlight? No problem, let’s all get a lightbox. Because nothing screams natural living like basking in the glow of a fake sun while binge-watching Netflix until our eyes bleed. - Therapy: Because talking to a snowman isn’t cutting it
Talking to a professional about your feelings is now in. So maybe it’s time to ditch your icy silent treatment for actual human interaction – even if it’s through Zoom and your therapist might be wearing pajama bottoms.
The Counter
- Adapt or Hibernate
Maybe we should just embrace our inner bear and hibernate. Who needs productivity and social interaction when you could just sleep through the misery and wake up to flowers and sunshine? - Blame the Sun; Invent a New One
Sure, let’s just point our fingers at that flaming ball in the sky. Or better yet, let’s build a new one that fits our schedule. Our ancestors fought sabertooth tigers; we fight for the right to artificial vitamin D and sunlamps. Progress! - Patchwork Problems
Popping Vitamin D is our little band-aid for the gaping wound called “I can’t get out of bed.” Because prevention is too much work, and, honestly, who doesn’t love quick fixes? - Technology Saves the Day (Again!)
We rely on tech for everything else, so let’s add ‘curing SAD’ to the list. Can’t wait for the day when our lightboxes are smart enough to make our coffee and emotionally support us, too. - Emotional Outsourcing
If our feelings are just going to be the same grey sludge from November to April, maybe we should outsource them. Someone on a sunny beach could enjoy those happier summer vibes on our behalf.
The Hot Take
Alright, listen. If we’re so clever that we can attach a camera to a roomba to spy on our pets, surely we can figure out this little pickle of winter depression. Until we do, let’s strap on our SAD lamps like battle armor and fight the good fight.
Maybe we’ll start a grassroots campaign: Free Vitamin D with every venti latte or a government subsidy for your personal pocket-sized sunbeam buddy. The point is, until our brains decide to upgrade and catch up with technology, we might as well make winter our own personal satire. If we’re going to be miserable, let’s be make-it-YouTube-viral miserable. Stay sarcastic, my friends, and let the sun – real or fake – shine on.
