Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Nikki Haley, the diplomatic dynamo and former U.N. Ambassador under the Trump administration, has found a new playground for her conservative musings. She’s taken on a gig at a think tank that’s about as right-leaning as the Leaning Tower of Pisa after a conservative convention in Pisa. But hey, who can pass up the chance to add “Think Tanker” to their LinkedIn profile?
The Breakdown
- A Job So Conservative, It Makes Reagan Look Like a Hippie
- Ms. Haley has cozied up to a think tank that’s practically a greenhouse for cultivating conservative policies. They’ll be recycling the same old ideas with the fervor of a vegan at a compost convention.
- Ms. Haley has cozied up to a think tank that’s practically a greenhouse for cultivating conservative policies. They’ll be recycling the same old ideas with the fervor of a vegan at a compost convention.
- A Think Tank Tank Full of…Thoughts?
- Theories abound in her new gig as a seasoned vet of the Trump squad. It’s like she’s taken “The Art of the Deal” and turned it into her very own “Art of the Thought”.
- Theories abound in her new gig as a seasoned vet of the Trump squad. It’s like she’s taken “The Art of the Deal” and turned it into her very own “Art of the Thought”.
- Political Groundhog Day: Nikki’s Recycled Revolution
- With newness like this, who needs innovation? The think tank is thrilled to push forward ideas that are as fresh as the air in a sealed bunker.
- With newness like this, who needs innovation? The think tank is thrilled to push forward ideas that are as fresh as the air in a sealed bunker.
- From U.N. to U-Huh?: Haley’s Diplomatic Deja Vu
- Nikki’s trotting the world stage to the beat of yesterday’s drum. With her track record, expect her to bring the same level of subtlety to this role as a bull in a china shop… a very conservative, well-mannered china shop.
- Nikki’s trotting the world stage to the beat of yesterday’s drum. With her track record, expect her to bring the same level of subtlety to this role as a bull in a china shop… a very conservative, well-mannered china shop.
- The Queen’s New Clothes: Haley’s Expertise Unveiled
- When you’ve been the Governor of South Carolina and Ambassador to the U.N., obviously the next logical step is to sit in a think tank and, well, think. It’s a tough job, but someone with her resumé can probably think without even trying.
- When you’ve been the Governor of South Carolina and Ambassador to the U.N., obviously the next logical step is to sit in a think tank and, well, think. It’s a tough job, but someone with her resumé can probably think without even trying.
The Counter
- Think Tanks for Nothing: Where Ideas Go to Spin Cycles
- Who else is brave enough to dive into the intellectual kiddie pool to bat around ideas that have been floating around since the Cold War? Nikki’s not afraid of a little brain freeze.
- Who else is brave enough to dive into the intellectual kiddie pool to bat around ideas that have been floating around since the Cold War? Nikki’s not afraid of a little brain freeze.
- Haley’s Comet: A Guiding Light in a Sea of Same Old, Same Old
- Like a beacon of recycled light, she zips through the sky of the echo chamber, reminding us that yes, these are indeed the same stars we’ve been staring at for ages.
- Like a beacon of recycled light, she zips through the sky of the echo chamber, reminding us that yes, these are indeed the same stars we’ve been staring at for ages.
- U.N-believable: How International Experience Translates to Homegrown Hilarity
- After handling international crises, dull policy discussions at the think tank should be as invigorating as watching paint dry… if that paint had a hawkish foreign policy.
- After handling international crises, dull policy discussions at the think tank should be as invigorating as watching paint dry… if that paint had a hawkish foreign policy.
- The Pinnacle of Political Thought: Nikki’s Eureka at the Echo Point
- Truly, no other political mind could revel in the sound of their voice bouncing back to them with such deftness. It’s enlightening, really, if you’re into soliloquies.
- Truly, no other political mind could revel in the sound of their voice bouncing back to them with such deftness. It’s enlightening, really, if you’re into soliloquies.
- Mother of All Tank Thinkers: Haley’s Crown Jewel of Ideas
- Our very own Mother of Dragons, but instead of birthing fire-breathers, she’s unleashing ideas that are…well, let’s just say they won’t be burning down any establishments soon.
- Our very own Mother of Dragons, but instead of birthing fire-breathers, she’s unleashing ideas that are…well, let’s just say they won’t be burning down any establishments soon.
The Hot Take
In the land where the status quo is King, Nikki Haley has found her round table. The problem isn’t simply that the ideas are as well-worn as a medieval knight’s armor; it’s that these old ditties are being presented as the holy grail of modern conservativism.
So, what’s a liberal to do? Perhaps we craft our own think tank, but make it more of a do tank—where policies are not just rehashed for their vintage charm but created with a cutting-edge blend of progressivism and practicality that might just lead to an America as forward-thinking as it is forward-moving.
We’d populate it with people who think climate change is more than a seasonal fashion trend and who understand that ‘trickle down’ should refer to a chocolate fountain and not an economic policy. And maybe, just maybe, we’d try out some real diplomacy—where we talk to other countries instead of about them.
Source: Nikki Haley Gets a New Gig at Conservative Think Tank
