Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
The Details
In the realm of presidential prowess, where dead men tell tales through the revered whisper of history, we have a new kink in the timeline. That’s right, a survey of presidential experts, those grand wizards of political hindsight, have rolled the dice, read the tea leaves, and lo and behold, a plot twist for the ages emerges. Biden, yes, Uncle Joe, the gaffe machine, has outshone Reagan and even The Donald in the latest ranking drama. It’s akin to discovering your local deli’s meatloaf besting grandma’s secret recipe at the family reunion, and the fallout, my friends, is nothing short of gourmet chaos.
The Breakdown
- Biden Beats the Big Boys:
Ah, the taste of a good ol’ fashioned expert opinion! President Biden, with fewer years into his presidency than a toddler has in life experience, has already eclipsed the storied reigns of the Gipper and the host of “The Apprentice”. It seems decades of presidential mystique can be undone faster than you can say “alternative facts”. - Expert Opinion or Expert Trolling:
The presidential experts, their glasses no doubt fogged with the breath of political fervor, have spoken, but did they do so with a straight face? These rankings have the aromatic whiff of a practical joke designed to infuriate, or perhaps a wizardly spell to make cable news pundits’ heads spin like dreidels. - The Legacy Limbo:
How low can old legacies go? Seems like Reagan’s conservative revolution and Trump’s Twitter typhoon were outdanced by Biden’s quiet shuffle. Who knew that a lower bar could be a ladder to the stars? - McEnany’s Mix of Marvel and Meltdown:
The melding of Kayleigh McEnany’s incredulity with this news is a concoction so volatile, it could only be compared to mixing Mentos and Diet Coke. Marvel as the fume of her “infuriated” response fuels more prime-time jests than a comedian’s roast. - Revising the Revisions:
Now as these rankings are penciled into the ledgers of posterity, let’s remember the erasers are just as mighty. Today’s Biden bonanza could very well be tomorrow’s asterisked anecdote in the presidential yearbook.
The Counter
- Trump Triumphs in Trump’s Own Survey:
In a shocking turn of absolutely expected news, Trump wins in a landslide in the ‘Most Trumpian President’ category, securing a victory in his own mind, unrivaled by any real or imagined survey to date. - Reagan’s Rampage of Remembrance:
Perhaps the experts overlooked a trickling tear from the Gipper’s statue upon hearing the news, marking a hundred-point boost in the posthumous popularity polls. - Biden’s Boisterous Backfire:
Could this be the high watermark before the flood? The comedic prophecies tell of a time when being top dog unleashes the hounds of scrutiny, sharpening every satirical sword. - The Non-Existent Perfect President:
In an unearthed text from a non-existent Sumerian tablet, the prophecy dictates that no leader shall escape the fiery forge of sarcasm, especially within the confines of a satirical scribble. - Experts Expertly Elicit Eyebrows:
These experts, armed with their expertise, have expertly made every eyebrow raise to new heights. Is it shock? Is it Botox? No, it’s the power of an unexpected academic twist!
The Hot Take
In the sweltering cauldron of today’s politics, the solution, dear comrades, is glaringly simple. Shall we not merely rank every president on a reality show? Let the people text in their votes, churn the butter of democracy, and let the Nielsen ratings decide who truly wins the seal of approval. When experts cause a stir, turn to the most undeniable source of wisdom: prime-time viewership. And if we desire true fairness in historical recollection, let’s ensure every future president is equipped with a laugh track, a social media war room, and an arsenal of meme-worthy expressions. It’s the only way to ensure history remembers them fondly.
Source: McEnany ‘infuriated’ after Biden beats Reagan and Trump in survey of presidential experts
