Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
In a classic move of “I’ve got nothing better to do” politics, Representative Stefanik has passionately urged the Biden administration to cut all federal funding to Columbia University. Why, you ask? Because nothing screams “responsible governing” like pulling resources from one of the nation’s top educational institutions in a bid to supposedly “save” the country. That’s right, folks. Run for the hills, the academics are coming!
The Breakdown
- Chaos Over Credentials: Stefanik claims Columbia is too liberal, which is totally unexpected from a university in New York City, right? It’s almost as if universities are places where different ideas are explored.
- Further Insanity: Apparently, fostering a diverse spectrum of thoughts is now a punishable offense. Next up: banning all books not approved by your local government.
- Further Insanity: Apparently, fostering a diverse spectrum of thoughts is now a punishable offense. Next up: banning all books not approved by your local government.
- Tax Dollars at Work: The concern is that federal funds are being used to push a liberal agenda. Imagine that! Public funds being used in a public university.
- Economic Apocalypse: Because, of course, no true education was ever achieved by challenging the status quo. Better to finance another study on the migratory patterns of the elite northeastern snowflake.
- Economic Apocalypse: Because, of course, no true education was ever achieved by challenging the status quo. Better to finance another study on the migratory patterns of the elite northeastern snowflake.
- Freedom of Silence: The demand to defund is wrapped up in a pretty bow of “protecting free speech”. Ironic, isn’t it? Nothing says free speech like silencing those you disagree with.
- Irony Overload: Get ready for the Free Speech Police, ladies and gents, checking under your bed for hidden copies of “The Communist Manifesto”.
- Irony Overload: Get ready for the Free Speech Police, ladies and gents, checking under your bed for hidden copies of “The Communist Manifesto”.
- The Outrage Machine: This issue has riled up all the usual suspects who see this as another battleground in the ongoing culture war. Because nothing solves education like good old-fashioned outrage.
- Fuel to the Fire: If you thought your Facebook debates with Uncle Gary were intense, just wait till federal funding and higher education gets thrown into the mix.
- Fuel to the Fire: If you thought your Facebook debates with Uncle Gary were intense, just wait till federal funding and higher education gets thrown into the mix.
- Follow the Money: Stefanik’s focus on cutting off Columbia’s funding might just have a little to do with appeasing certain donors. Shocking, right? A politician influenced by money.
- Surprise Factor: Zero. Maybe we’ll next discover that water is wet and politicians stretch the truth.
- Surprise Factor: Zero. Maybe we’ll next discover that water is wet and politicians stretch the truth.
The Counter
- Universities Should be Safe Spaces: For outdated ideas that never have to be challenged. Because learning is really about memorizing what the authority figures in your life tell you is correct.
- Tax Dollars Should Only Fund “Approved” Education: Let’s just fund basket weaving and leave critical thinking to the philosophers of ancient times. That ought to prep our future workforce!
- Free Speech Means Agreeing with Me: It’s all about freedom of speech, as long as that speech coincides perfectly with my personal beliefs. Otherwise, it’s dangerous propaganda!
- Culture Wars are Great for Education: Nothing like a good ol’ culture war to really deepen one’s understanding of biochemical reactions or Russian literature.
- Politicians Know Best About Education: Trust the government to know exactly what should and shouldn’t be taught. Historically, this has worked out brilliantly, right?
The Hot Take
In closing, if we really want to fix the oh-so-terrible problem of higher education institutions being hotbeds of liberal thoughts, let’s not stop at defunding. Why not mandate that all university courses be vetted by a panel of politicians who haven’t been in a classroom in decades? What could possibly go wrong?
Education in America should definitely be a monochrome painting curated by the most out-of-touch folks we could possibly hope for. That’s the true path to innovation and global competitiveness. Throw out your textbooks, kids, and get ready for some government-approved learning materials straight from the 1950s. Pack up, professors, the politicians are taking over. And remember, if it sounds like satire, it probably needs funding!
Source: Stefanik demands Biden administration yank Columbia’s federal funding
