Mar-a-Lago or Mar-a-Lobby? Trump’s New Approach to Diplomacy

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Imagine the scene: perfectly mowed lawns, crystal-clear swimming pools, and the ever-so-soft rustle of important papers and hush-hush strategies as foreign dignitaries are wooed—this isn’t a James Bond movie set, folks, this is Mar-a-Lago in election season! With the electoral clock ticking, Trump’s squad is cashing in some serious frequent flyer miles for global leaders, hoping maybe a good swing on the fairway could swing a few policies or, who knows, maybe an entire election.

The Breakdown

1. Make Mar-a-Lago Great Again: I mean, honestly, why bother with mundane things like state departments and official venues when you can have delicate diplomatic chats between sips of a tropical mojito and strokes of a 9-iron?
   
   
   • Little-known fact: World peace negotiations come out smoother on a golf course. Who needs the UN when you’ve got a mini-UN on the windswept greens of Florida?
     
     
2. International Relations, Cottage Industry Edition: Forget steel or agriculture; America’s new biggest export is Trump-flavored hospitality. We’re talking package deals; bring a country, stay for the nuclear chat.
   
   
   • Remember, it’s not “influencing foreign leaders”; it’s “enhancing cross-cultural relations” one luxury suite at a time.
     
     
3. Campaign Trail? More like Campaign Tailgate Party: Other candidates are out there pounding the pavement, while Trump’s allies are flipping burgers and flipping policies in the luxurious backyard of Mar-a-Lago.
   
   
   • Truly, democracy tastes better with a side of high-priced canapés and the potential of a suntan.
     
     
4. Members Only—Especially If You Lead a Country: At Mar-a-Lago, being on the guest list means more than just a swanky weekend. It’s a subtle nod, a wink to those leading countries that friendliness might just equate to a more ‘amicable’ foreign policy.
   
   
   • Who knew international clout could feel as cozy as a Mar-a-Lago monogrammed bathrobe?
     
     
5. The Ultimate Bed and Breakfast: Nothing says ‘presidential’ like offering a head of state the chance to nibble on Eggs Benedict across from a man who could be dictating their economic sanctions before dessert.
   
   
   • If foreign policy was a breakfast menu, Mar-a-Lago’s would be the most expensive—and calorific—one in the world.
     

The Counter

1. Eco-Friendly Politics: Who needs video calls? They’re so impersonal! Better to have those private jets crisscross the globe and land directly onto a resort—it’s like bringing the UN to your doorstep, but with better weather and far more manicured lawns.
   
   
2. Unorthodox? More Like Un-golf-odox: Normal candidates make promises and kiss babies. Pfft. Instead, Trump’s team is practicing their swings—political and golfing—simultaneously. Efficiency at its finest!
   
   
3. New Age Diplomacy: Who says you can’t mix business with pleasure? Mar-a-Lago: Where every handshake is a potential policy shift and every “Four!” could signify an impending trade deal.
   
   
4. Exclusive Networking Events: Mixers in dingy conference rooms are so passé. Here, we prefer our networking with a side of spa treatments and national interest discussions over tee time.
   
   
5. Presidential Suite to Presidential Future: It’s all about branding, darling. Other countries don’t just buy into politics; they buy a lifestyle. And nothing screams Americana like a plush presidential suite.
   

The Hot Take

Whew, let’s take a step back and breathe in that balmy Florida air—infused with the faint aroma of democracy and capitalism that makes America great. Folks, the solution is simple: let’s open the country clubs to all budding politicians. No membership fees, no gatekeeping—just pure, unadulterated political persuasion in the lap of luxury. Because nothing screams ‘equality’ like giving everyone the chance to schmooze their way to the top!

Source: Trump allies encourage Mar-a-Lago visits with foreign leaders months before election