Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
In a world where the military decides whether your morning cup of coffee is robust or just plain treacle, we turn our sardonic gaze to Mexico’s very own Claudia Sheinbaum. She’s peering into the abyss of the military’s increasingly cozy bed in the corporate world. It’s like watching that awkward couple at a party who clearly need to reconsider their public displays of affection.
The Breakdown
- General Contractor? More Like General Confusion:
- Who needs private sector expertise when you’ve got an army with guns… and now, calculators! Sure, nothing screams ‘efficiency’ like a squadron of soldiers building your airports and running your energy sector.
- Who needs private sector expertise when you’ve got an army with guns… and now, calculators! Sure, nothing screams ‘efficiency’ like a squadron of soldiers building your airports and running your energy sector.
- Militarizing Mochaccinos?
- If the trend continues, don’t be shocked when your barista is wearing camo and taking orders with night-vision goggles. “One venti latte with a side of national security, please!”
- If the trend continues, don’t be shocked when your barista is wearing camo and taking orders with night-vision goggles. “One venti latte with a side of national security, please!”
- ‘Armed’ Forces to ‘Arm’ More than Just the Border:
- Mexico’s muscle-flexing might just go from safeguarding the fringes to managing fiber optics. Because who wouldn’t trust the people trained for combat to handle internet cables without cutting one… or all of them?
- Mexico’s muscle-flexing might just go from safeguarding the fringes to managing fiber optics. Because who wouldn’t trust the people trained for combat to handle internet cables without cutting one… or all of them?
- Sheinbaum’s Surveillance of Soldier’s Side Hustles:
- She’s not just going to let the military ‘play business’ without some adult supervision. It’s like letting your kids run a lemonade stand that also happens to sell state secrets.
- She’s not just going to let the military ‘play business’ without some adult supervision. It’s like letting your kids run a lemonade stand that also happens to sell state secrets.
- From Fatigues to Fortune 500:
- The corporate ladder is all fun and games until it’s an actual ladder… with a soldier pointing a rifle at you, encouraging you to climb faster for that year-end bonus or else.
- The corporate ladder is all fun and games until it’s an actual ladder… with a soldier pointing a rifle at you, encouraging you to climb faster for that year-end bonus or else.
The Counter
- But, What About Efficiency?
- Ah, yes. Because nothing says ‘cutting through the red tape’ like involving a traditionally bureaucratic institution. With all that marching in unison, decision-making should be a breeze, right?
- Ah, yes. Because nothing says ‘cutting through the red tape’ like involving a traditionally bureaucratic institution. With all that marching in unison, decision-making should be a breeze, right?
- What If It’s for the ‘Greater Good’?
- Who can argue with ‘greater good’? Other than everyone under the sky when they find out the ‘greater good’ might just include mandatory tactical training for all corporate retreats.
- Who can argue with ‘greater good’? Other than everyone under the sky when they find out the ‘greater good’ might just include mandatory tactical training for all corporate retreats.
- They Protect and Serve… Coffee?
- Soldiers multi-tasking as service staff can only lead to stronger international relations. Espresso shots fired, indeed.
- Soldiers multi-tasking as service staff can only lead to stronger international relations. Espresso shots fired, indeed.
- Discipline in the Workforce:
- Rigid discipline will ensure nobody steps out of line – literally. Tardiness? Absenteeism? Forget it. Those terms are about to become extinct… along with casual Fridays.
- Rigid discipline will ensure nobody steps out of line – literally. Tardiness? Absenteeism? Forget it. Those terms are about to become extinct… along with casual Fridays.
- Strategic Military Insight:
- Years of strategic operations definitely qualify you to strategize market monopolies, navigate mergers, and, most importantly, execute hostile takeovers. Pun intended.
- Years of strategic operations definitely qualify you to strategize market monopolies, navigate mergers, and, most importantly, execute hostile takeovers. Pun intended.
The Hot Take
Looking at Sheinbaum’s side-eye to the military’s corporate takeover, one can’t help but offer some slightly less weaponized solutions. How about diverting those military minds to figure out the Gordian Knot of healthcare, or maybe use that knack for logistics to solve rush hour traffic?
Heaven forbid they apply that storied discipline to sort out bureaucratic red tape. No, it seems we’d rather have them overseeing business deals with a hand grenade in one hand and a pen for signing contracts in the other.
Source: Mexico’s Claudia Sheinbaum Would Examine Role of Military in Companies
