Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
In a stunning twist that no one could have possibly anticipated, Facebook and Instagram have decided to keep the digital ghosts of Joe Biden and Donald Trump locked away in the shadowy depths of the banned-from-social-media dimension.
This article dives into the treacherous waters of today’s political social media scene, casting a spotlight on the high-stakes game of tag between social platforms and political figureheads. Now, let’s peel back this onion with all the grace of a sleep-deprived raccoon digging through last week’s trash.
The Breakdown
- Old McDonald Had a Farm, E-I-E-I-No-Post
Apparently, social media giants want to keep the pastures of online discourse free from old political animals. As usual, Biden’s whispering sweet nothings into the void, and Trump’s waving his hands frantically at Truth Social, hoping someone notices. - Silence of the Lambs (Or Just the Donkeys and Elephants)
The decision to hush up these seasoned politicians is less about peace and quiet and more about not having the feed turn into a political battleground. Heaven forbid our morning scroll be interrupted by anything of substance! - Zuck’s Little Rule Book of ‘Do As I Say, Not As I Do…’
The back-and-forth banter on whether to ban or not to ban is Zuckerberg’s version of a Shakespearean drama. To ban, or not to ban, that is… okay, it’s not even a question anymore, they’re banned. - Insta-Regret or Face-No-More
The platforms might be teeming with users suffering from a rare condition known as ‘instant regret’ every time they engage in political discourse. How else would you explain the need to shadow-ban ol’ Joe and the Donald? - Diplomatic Immunity Has Left the Chat
Political VIPs used to be treated like rock stars, free to strut their stuff across the social media stage. But now, their VIP pass has been revoked, and they’re just commoners in the algorithmic queendom.
The Counter
- Thumbs Up for Democracy!
Just what we needed, big tech overlords deciding what democratic dialogue should look like. I feel relieved, how about you? - Profiles in Courage… or Cowardice?
In an impressive display of corporate bravery, Facebook and Instagram stand firm in their resolve — by preventing the most straightforward display of opinions. Well done, brave souls, well done. - Reader’s Digest: Politician’s Edition
Let’s condense every nuanced political argument into snappy, easy-to-digest morsels that won’t offend anyone’s delicate sensibilities. Because that’s just as effective, right? - Bringing People Together, One Ban at a Time
Social media: the great unifier! Nothing says unity like making sure nobody says anything too divisive. Or anything at all, in some cases. - You Get a Ban! And You Get a Ban! Everybody Gets a Ban!
It’s like an episode of Oprah, except everyone’s leaving with a little less freedom of speech under their seats today.
The Hot Take
Now for the pièce de résistance, my fellow keyboard warriors. If you want real change, follow the my School of Thought: make every political post mandatory viewing. That’s right — pop them up like those unskippable YouTube ads.
Let’s plaster those policy proposals and tax reform plans between cute cat videos and your Aunt Millie’s 37th vacation photo this month. We’d achieve perfect transparency and probably a deeper appreciation for ad blockers. And, if all else fails, we can always revert to carrier pigeons. They can’t be banned, can they?
Source: Why you won’t see Biden, Trump on Facebook or Instagram this election
