Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
In a shocking turn of events that has comedy writers thanking the heavens, Mark Menzies, the MP you’ve vaguely heard of, has decided that he has had enough of the sparkling waters of the political pool and is ready to dive into the murky depths of “spending more time with bad people.” Or so the headlines would have you believe.
In a dramatic flurry that would make a soap opera blush, the notoriously obscure Mr. Menzies has chosen to exit stage right, pursuing what can only be described as a desire to join the ranks of individuals who have traded the not-so-gleaming halo of public service for the devil horns of an unspecified mischief. Let’s dissect this modern-day tale of a political switcheroo.
The Breakdown
- Mark’s Untimely Exodus
- Just when Brexit negotiations were getting to the “hold my beer” phase, Menzies declares that he’s had an epiphany. Apparently, his calling in life isn’t to serve his constituents, but to invest time in relationships with some rebuked social circles. Move over Dalai Lama, we’ve got a new spiritual guru in town.
- Just when Brexit negotiations were getting to the “hold my beer” phase, Menzies declares that he’s had an epiphany. Apparently, his calling in life isn’t to serve his constituents, but to invest time in relationships with some rebuked social circles. Move over Dalai Lama, we’ve got a new spiritual guru in town.
- “Bad People” as the New Career Path
- It’s uncertain what qualifies as “bad people” in Menzies’ book. Perhaps we’re talking about folks who put the milk in before the cereal or those who talk at the theater. Either way, we’re eagerly awaiting the LinkedIn profile update. Endorsements for “Plotting” and “Mischief Making” to follow?
- It’s uncertain what qualifies as “bad people” in Menzies’ book. Perhaps we’re talking about folks who put the milk in before the cereal or those who talk at the theater. Either way, we’re eagerly awaiting the LinkedIn profile update. Endorsements for “Plotting” and “Mischief Making” to follow?
- Politicians Jumping Ship: A New Competitive Sport
- If there’s something more trending than TikTok dance challenges, it’s British MPs finding creative excuses to quit. Is there an annual award for this? Because the competition is getting fierce, and Menzies is performing a perfect 10 dismount.
- If there’s something more trending than TikTok dance challenges, it’s British MPs finding creative excuses to quit. Is there an annual award for this? Because the competition is getting fierce, and Menzies is performing a perfect 10 dismount.
- The Public Scratches Their Collective Head
- The nation collectively paused to Google who Mark Menzies is, only to shrug and carry on with their lives. The revelation seemed only to disrupt the daily routines of political pundits and all three members of the Mark Menzies Fan Club.
- The nation collectively paused to Google who Mark Menzies is, only to shrug and carry on with their lives. The revelation seemed only to disrupt the daily routines of political pundits and all three members of the Mark Menzies Fan Club.
- The Menzies Mayhem Method
- The MP has perhaps inadvertently discovered a new political strategy – instead of weathering scandals, simply declare an affinity for villainy and scuttle away! What’s next, Buckingham Palace announcing the Queen fancies a career in graffiti?
- The MP has perhaps inadvertently discovered a new political strategy – instead of weathering scandals, simply declare an affinity for villainy and scuttle away! What’s next, Buckingham Palace announcing the Queen fancies a career in graffiti?
The Counter
- A Sudden Interest in Altruism?
- One might argue that Menzies, our erstwhile MP, is embarking on a philanthropic mission to reform “bad people.” That would be as likely as finding someone who’s passionate about watching paint dry.
- One might argue that Menzies, our erstwhile MP, is embarking on a philanthropic mission to reform “bad people.” That would be as likely as finding someone who’s passionate about watching paint dry.
- The “Bad People” Are Misunderstood
- Maybe these “bad people” are just misunderstood souls with a love for pineapple pizza and socks with sandals. Menzies, their newfound leader, will usher in an era of quirky fashion and culinary revolt.
- Maybe these “bad people” are just misunderstood souls with a love for pineapple pizza and socks with sandals. Menzies, their newfound leader, will usher in an era of quirky fashion and culinary revolt.
- Brexit: The Gift That Keeps On Giving
- Brexit was beginning to bore us all to tears – or beers, depending on coping strategies. But Menzies thrusts himself back into the limelight. Is he the political martyr we neither needed nor wanted?
- Brexit was beginning to bore us all to tears – or beers, depending on coping strategies. But Menzies thrusts himself back into the limelight. Is he the political martyr we neither needed nor wanted?
- A Skilled Escape Artist at Work
- Do we smell a Netflix special? If anything, this whole Menzies saga sounds like the setup for a “how to escape a career in politics” masterclass. David Blaine’s got nothing on this guy.
- Do we smell a Netflix special? If anything, this whole Menzies saga sounds like the setup for a “how to escape a career in politics” masterclass. David Blaine’s got nothing on this guy.
- A Political Rumspringa
- Perhaps Menzies is merely on a sabbatical from the seriousness of life in Parliament. Like an Amish teen on Rumspringa, he will explore the “badness” and return wise, worldly, and weary of waywardness. Or, just keep the badness. Who knows?
- Perhaps Menzies is merely on a sabbatical from the seriousness of life in Parliament. Like an Amish teen on Rumspringa, he will explore the “badness” and return wise, worldly, and weary of waywardness. Or, just keep the badness. Who knows?
The Hot Take
What we need now is for politicians to truly commit to the bit if they’re going to exit. Menzies has blazed a trail for the political equivalent of leaving for cigarettes and never coming back. But if we’re going to fix the root problem, we need more transparency, accountability, and politicians that realize public service isn’t a reality TV show where you can just “opt-out” because you’re not getting enough screen time.
We need dedicated individuals, not publicity stunt connoisseurs. The solution starts with electing people who know “bad people” belong in B-movies, not in their resignation speeches. Remember, vote wisely—or at least make sure they’re creative.
Source: Mark Menzies Resigns to Spend More Time With “Bad People”
