Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
In an irony so thick you could cut it with a spork, Michael Avenatti, once a stormy antagonist to Trump, now shares a somewhat similar fate with the former President: being a “victim of the system.” From his concrete hotel with bars for doors, Avenatti casts stones, presumably not from his glass cell, as he slams the legal system that once served as his battleground.With a conviction to his name—not to be mistaken for the moral kind—he now shares chummy victimhood status with Trump, a twist in this dark comedic saga that even Hollywood couldn’t script.
The Breakdown
- Irony Is Best Served Cold, Like Prison Food:
- Avenatti, in a stint of prison poetry, insists Trump and he are buddies in the victimization narrative. Let’s pause for a giggle at the thought of these two as cellmates, exchanging stories of how the ‘system’ wronged them over a lovely dinner of mystery meat and lukewarm slop.
- Avenatti, in a stint of prison poetry, insists Trump and he are buddies in the victimization narrative. Let’s pause for a giggle at the thought of these two as cellmates, exchanging stories of how the ‘system’ wronged them over a lovely dinner of mystery meat and lukewarm slop.
- Walls Talk, Especially When You’re Between Them:
- Commenting from his gray-bar abode, Avenatti criticizes the hand that once fed him: the US legal system. With the flair of a fallen Shakespearean protagonist, he asserts his armchair analysis. Yet, one wonders if he’s just seeking a new audience since his courtroom performances now play to a crowd of less-impressed convicts.
- Commenting from his gray-bar abode, Avenatti criticizes the hand that once fed him: the US legal system. With the flair of a fallen Shakespearean protagonist, he asserts his armchair analysis. Yet, one wonders if he’s just seeking a new audience since his courtroom performances now play to a crowd of less-impressed convicts.
- Changing Teams: From Prosecutor to Persecuted:
- He who once prowled the courtrooms with the panache of a legal lion now meows tales of systemic victimhood. Avenatti’s turncoat lament is as rich as the clients he once represented. The courtroom drama now is less ‘Law & Order’ and more ‘Orange is the New Black.’
- He who once prowled the courtrooms with the panache of a legal lion now meows tales of systemic victimhood. Avenatti’s turncoat lament is as rich as the clients he once represented. The courtroom drama now is less ‘Law & Order’ and more ‘Orange is the New Black.’
- Avenatti’s New Book: ‘The Grapes of Wraths’:
- A tale of sour grapes, perhaps? Avenatti’s critique of the penal system is laced with personal plot twists, as if injustice didn’t exist until it knocked on his cell door. One might speculate he’s penning a new memoir, a tragicomedy, where every page cries, “woe is the man who flew too close to the limelight and got burned by his own Icarus wings.”
- A tale of sour grapes, perhaps? Avenatti’s critique of the penal system is laced with personal plot twists, as if injustice didn’t exist until it knocked on his cell door. One might speculate he’s penning a new memoir, a tragicomedy, where every page cries, “woe is the man who flew too close to the limelight and got burned by his own Icarus wings.”
- Trump & Avenatti: A Bromance Brewing Behind Bars?
- The duo’s parallel distaste for their legal woes could be the premise of a new buddy comedy, or maybe a prison pen pal spin-off. Their grievances might just become the script for the ‘Odd Couple: Incarceration Edition’.
- The duo’s parallel distaste for their legal woes could be the premise of a new buddy comedy, or maybe a prison pen pal spin-off. Their grievances might just become the script for the ‘Odd Couple: Incarceration Edition’.
The Counter
- Avenatti, The Unsung Hero! Or Just Unsung?
- Could it be that in the silence of his cell, Avenatti has become the voice of the voiceless, the hero nobody asked for or recognized? Maybe in a parallel universe, but in this one, the chorus singing his praise seems to be on permanent mute.
- Could it be that in the silence of his cell, Avenatti has become the voice of the voiceless, the hero nobody asked for or recognized? Maybe in a parallel universe, but in this one, the chorus singing his praise seems to be on permanent mute.
- Justice Is Blind, Not Heartless:
- Trump’s New Legal Eagle?
- With Avenatti’s newfound empathy toward Trump, should we expect him to trade his orange jumpsuit for a suit and represent Trump in court? The thought alone is enough for a spit-take… or a full-blown coffee-out-the-nose moment.
- With Avenatti’s newfound empathy toward Trump, should we expect him to trade his orange jumpsuit for a suit and represent Trump in court? The thought alone is enough for a spit-take… or a full-blown coffee-out-the-nose moment.
- The System Broke My Heart:
- Oh, how the mighty have fallen. And they seem to land on a bed made of conspiracy quilted mattresses. Avenatti’s forlorn cries suggest he was merely a pawn in a game played by Queen Justice and King Irony.
- Oh, how the mighty have fallen. And they seem to land on a bed made of conspiracy quilted mattresses. Avenatti’s forlorn cries suggest he was merely a pawn in a game played by Queen Justice and King Irony.
- Prison Reform Advocate or Sore Loser?
- Is this a genuine call for reform, or is Avenatti simply a defeated chess master blaming the board for his checkmate? Tears in the rain or crocodile tears? The audience remains undecided.
- Is this a genuine call for reform, or is Avenatti simply a defeated chess master blaming the board for his checkmate? Tears in the rain or crocodile tears? The audience remains undecided.
The Hot Take
As we scrape the burned bits off this toast of a tale, let’s muse on the liberal solution to this tragicomedy—the concoction to cure our two protagonists of their shared plight. The remedy is simple: a hearty dose of accountability, a sprinkle of transparency, and a dash of self-awareness ladled generously over the entire U.S. justice system (special servings for those who dine on caviar and injustice with equal relish).
A framework that spares no one, not even the high-flying lawyer turned inmate nor the former Commander in Chief. After all, what’s a society without a little equality in consequence? Top it off with a justice system that favors reform over retribution, and voila, you’ve got a five-star solution to an otherwise unsavory meal.
And voilà, there we have a sarcastically seasoned overview that’s simultaneously serious food for thought and a palate cleanser from the usual taste of reality. Bon appétit!
Source: Avenatti calls Trump a ‘victim of the system’ in interview from prison
