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Mitt Romney has always been something of a political enigma. Just when you think you’ve got him pegged as a vanilla statesman with the spine of a chocolate éclair, he comes out with something that actually makes you pause your mindless scrolling and pay a smidgen of attention. This time, in a twist that not even M. Night Shyamalan saw coming, Mitt’s chimed in on the whole circus of pardoning Trump.
Let’s unwrap this, shall we?
First off, proposing pardons in American politics is like adding raisins to cookies. Nobody really asked for them, but there you go, ruining a perfectly good snack by throwing in something shriveled up from the past. Now, Trump and his cohort of merry pranksters have already turned the White House into a reality show spin-off so bizarre that it would make the producers of Survivor blush. And Mitt thinks adding a pardon into this mix would be a good idea?
What’s next? Awarding participation trophies to every ex-president because they managed not to burn down the White House? If that’s the bar we’re setting, I might as well run for president. At least there’d be more laughter and a lot less tweeting.
Mitt argues that a pardon could heal the nation. Heal the nation? I haven’t heard a more delusional idea since someone suggested we could fix global warming with a giant AC unit. If anything, slapping a pardon on Trump would rip open the political divide further, not to mention give future presidents the green light to treat the Oval Office like a personal sandbox—because hey, pardons are just White House parting gifts, right?
But here’s where it gets even more laughable. A pardon is supposed to suggest that someone has shown remorse or at least a shadow of regret. Trump, remorseful? That’s like expecting a bull not to charge at a matador flaunting a red cape. It’s against nature! The man has more unchecked baggage than a lost luggage claim at JFK.
Romney’s take on this is almost as funny as expecting a cat to bark but heck, he’s serious! To believe that a Trump pardon would smooth things over is like believing I’d enjoy a hot yoga class—it’s sweaty, uncomfortable, and I wouldn’t be caught dead in those stretchy pants.
And let’s not even dive into the Message this Sends. What, we just forgive and forget? Let bygones be bygones? Is that the new American motto? Forget the Eagle; let’s just slap a giant eraser on the flag because we love to rewrite history almost as much as my Uncle Jerry loves to recount his alien abduction story.
So, here we are, floating this Titanic idea of a Trump pardon and waiting to see if it hits the iceberg of public opinion. Only this time, the band playing on isn’t soothing our nerves—it’s playing a funeral march, conducted by none other than Mitt Romney.
You gotta laugh folks, because if you don’t, you’ll cry.
Source: Opinion: Mitt Romney Has a Point About Pardoning Trump
