Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
I don’t understand it! Here we are, standing at the brink of what seems like the financial apocalypse, yet somehow, it’s still easier to put butter on a cat’s back than it is to save a couple of bucks. A recent survey showed us what we already knew but didn’t want to admit: our wallets are thinner than a vegan at a barbecue festival.
With the prices spiking about as high as my blood pressure during election season, Americans are facing more trouble spots than a teenager’s worst acne breakout day. And let me tell you, if laughter is the best medicine, then my official prescription today is a hefty dose of economic irony.
Look, I understand inflation as much as the next guy. Which is…not at all. One day you’re feeling rich with a hundred bucks in your pocket, and the next day, that hundred bucks can barely get you a loaf of bread, unless it’s gluten-free, then you can forget about eating altogether.
Apparently, 60% of Americans are more anxious about their finances this year. The other 40% didn’t understand the question. “What do you mean, what’s my financial strategy? Panicking at my kitchen table counts, right?” On one end, we’ve got people cutting back on essentials like food. Yes, food! As in, the thing you need to live. And on the other end, people are saying, “I guess I’ll just die fashionable and broke, but I will cut out avocados from my diet!”
But truly, the golden nugget of comedy here — because there’s always one, isn’t there — is that while we’re all crying into our overpriced beers, someone’s out there making a profit from all this. And no, I’m not just talking about the therapists!
We’ve got banks that look at a fee and think, “Oh, this is nice, but can we make it a punishment?” I mean, seriously, my bank charged me a fee for having insufficient funds. As if I needed a reminder that I’m broke! “We noticed you can’t afford bread. Here’s a fee so you can rethink your poor financial decisions.” Thanks, now I can’t afford air.
And then there’s housing. If eating and drinking hadn’t already become a luxury, living somewhere is the new trendy way of getting robbed without anyone even wearing a mask. “Hi, I’d like to buy a house.” “Great, that’ll be your soul and every happy memory from your childhood.” Man, sometimes I think living in a cardboard box might not be so bad — until it rains.
Let’s not forget about how work from home has changed our spending. Congratulations, your home is now your office. You thought it was expensive commuting? Wait until you get your heating bill. Every Zoom call is now sponsored by “My Gas & Electric Will Thank You for This Meeting.”
I guess my point here, if there indeed is one, is that we’re all grappling with the complexities of a wallet-squeezing, coin-devouring monster named Economy. And in such dire times, humor might just be our currency. Because frankly, if we can’t laugh about going broke, what are we going to do? Cry in premium tears?
So put your wallets away (it’s not like you were going to use them anyway), and lean into the only investment with guaranteed returns — a good chuckle. Or at least a smirk, depending on your budget.
Source: A big survey asked Americans about their finances. Here are some trouble spots
