Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Source: Inside the Heritage Foundation’s Plans for ‘Institutionalizing Trumpism’
The Details
Welcome to what feels like another episode of “Oh, How the Mighty Are Desperately Clinging to Power!” This week, we’ve got the Heritage Foundation doing their best impression of a political Frankenstein, trying to stitch together what they affectionately call ‘institutionalizing Trumpism.’ Yep, that’s like saying you want to institutionalize the flu because you miss the sniffles. The New York Times gives us an inside baseball look at their grand scheme to make America great again, again… I guess? Naturally, the plan is chock-full of the usual: eroding foundational institutions, dismissing pesky nuisances like facts, and wrapping it all up in a pretty package of hypocrisy. Grab your popcorn, folks—this strategic plan must have been written on Opposite Day.
The Breakdown
- Bullet Point the First: “Let’s Ignore the Past, but Also, Let’s Totally Not”
They say those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. But hey, who needs memory when you can cherry-pick the parts you like and just slap the label “heritage” on it? With an irony so thick you could spread it on your toast, the Heritage Foundation decides to build future policy on a foundation made of historical quicksand.
- Bullet Point the Second: “Education – Who Needs It?”
It’s like they believe education just gets in the way of good old-fashioned hearsay. Why would we want our next generation to actually think when memorizing a few emotionally charged slogans does the trick? And critical thinking? Whoa, buddy, let’s not get too wild!
- Bullet Point the Third: “Facts Are Optional Accessories”
Much like a tacky brooch or a garish tie, facts to the Heritage crew are merely optional. They just clash with the outfit of the day, which is usually something loud, unsubstantiated claims with a dash of conspiracy theory chic!
- Bullet Point the Fourth: “Democracy Is a Buzzkill”
Voting, schmoting. Our folks at Heritage are not about that “every vote counts” nonsense. It’s more like “every vote counts, but some should count a little less.” Or, you know, preferably not at all if they’re coming from those pesky districts that cherish diversity and equality.
- Bullet Point the Fifth: “Social Media, the Great Bastion of Truth”
Who needs the Library of Congress or decades of scholarship when you’ve got social media algorithms to guide you to the truthTM? It’s like swapping your doctor for WebMD and a forum of armchair physicians!
The Counter
- Bullet Counter-the First: “Make Ignorance Great Again…?”
Maybe our pals at the foundation should consider the vintage, retro vibes of informed policy decisions. Remember the good ole days of peer-reviewed research? Quaint, I know.
- Bullet Counter-the Second: “Two Plus Two Equals Five, and Other Truths We Hold Self-Evident”
Forget logical fallacies. In their world, playing fast and loose with numbers, data, and common sense is more than a passing fad—it’s a lifestyle.
- Bullet Counter-the Third: “Selective Amnesia – It’s All the Rage”
Got a President impeached twice? Just selectively forget those bits. Only bring up impeachment when reminiscing about ol’ Bill and that infamous blue dress.
- Bullet Counter-the Fourth: “Long Live the Participation Trophy!”
Because let’s face it, if losing an election isn’t rewarded with at least a massive pity party and attempts to change the rules, are you even trying?
- Bullet Counter-the Fifth: “Burn the Books, But Save the Tweets”
Let’s ignore the dusty, elitist authors of yesteryear in favor of the warm glow of screens dishing out 280-character wisdom. Shakespeare’s got nothing on QAnon Shaman’s haikus.
The Hot Take
Ah, folks, let me paint you a picture as subtle as a sledgehammer at a teacup party: the solution to our little ‘Trumpism’ revival is so simple even a reality TV star could tweet it out. First, infect the political body with a strong dose of this radical antidote called “reality.” Next, let’s prescribe a regimen of actual accountability: a novel concept where actions have consequences, not just seasons. Oh, and let’s not forget a healthy sprinkle of civic education that promotes engagement over scaremongering. It’s comedy gold, really, with the side effect of occasionally saving the Republic. So let’s roll up our sleeves and get to work! After all, democracy isn’t a self-cleaning oven; it needs a little elbow grease, disillusionment, and our best snarky commentary.
