Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Source: All Personal Feeds
The Details
Of all the love stories we never asked to hear more about, it’s Jared Kushner’s oddly cozy relationship with Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman that’s got everyone’s eyebrows doing calisthenics. Kushner, you know, the former White House advisor with a security clearance as patchy as my Uncle Morty’s back hair, seems to have found a pal in MBS, who’s got as many controversies tethered to his name as a Kardashian has Instagram followers.
The Breakdown
- International Bromance:
That Jared Kushner and Mohammed bin Salman are text buddies should surprise exactly no one at this point. The real shocker would be finding a healthy vegetable in a fast-food joint. These two give new meaning to the phrase ‘diplomatic relations’, likely texting about the weather, their favorite color of money, and the ever-popular “How to Influence Foreign Policy Without Really Trying”. - Security Schmecurity:
It takes real talent to appear so blatantly indifferent to protocol, and Kushner has got that in spades. His security clearance fiasco was the governmental equivalent of leaving your Facebook logged in at a hacker convention. And yet, amid all this, he gets more one-on-one time with MBS than most folks do with their Netflix account. - Khashoggi’s Ghost:
The murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi hangs over MBS like a bad cologne. Kushner’s response? Slather it on, baby, we’re going for a ride on the “realpolitik” express. Because nothing says “I support a free press” quite like sidling up to a man accused of ordering a journalist’s dismemberment. - Middle East Peace Plan? More like Middle East ‘Please Stop’:
Kushner’s peace plan for the Middle East sounded about as well-thought-out as a toddler’s strategy for a game of Risk. It was less a roadmap to peace, and more a roadmap to “How many book deals can I score from this”? - Economic Wizardry:
Let’s not forget Kushner’s economic plans for the region – they could make a cat laugh. Essentially, his idea seemed to throw money at the problem and hope it disappears like a stain with some good ole OxiClean. Pure magic, or should I say tragic?
The Counter
- Totally Transparent Transactions:
Let’s all commend Kushner for his transparent dealings with foreign powers. So transparent, in fact, we can’t see any wrongdoing, accountability, or basic ethics, no matter how hard we squint. - Clash of Cultures:
American and Saudi Arabian cultures might be worlds apart, but hey, Kushner and MBS are practically doing friendship bracelets at this point. Isn’t cultural exchange delightful? - A Pressing Concern:
Concerned about freedom of the press? Don’t worry, Kushner’s probably got a killer spin on it. Like a DJ at a propaganda party, he knows exactly what tunes to play. - It’s All About the Peace:
Some say that Kushner’s peace plan was like putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound, but come on, who knows better about peace than the guy who’s never brokered any? - Economy Shmeconomy:
You’ve got to admire a man who sees a region racked by political strife and thinks, “You know what this place needs? A fresh coat of capitalism!”
The Hot Take
In conclusion – Jared Kushner’s adventures in the Middle East are the geopolitical equivalent of a toddler walking a pit bull: it’s awkward, tense, and everyone’s just praying the leash holds. Liberal minds, progressive hearts, the real solution here? Let’s put actual diplomats back in diplomacy.
The kind with experience, know-how, and a plan that doesn’t sound like it was drafted on a napkin after happy hour. Because nothing says “fixing it” quite like good old-fashioned know-how, and maybe not letting in-laws double as international statesmen.
