Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Source:https://npr.org/2024/02/17/1231837200/veterans-mortgage-va-covid-forbearance
The Details
The current landscape of the housing market is about as stable as my career before I found out yelling was a legitimate form of comedy. So, let’s dive into the government’s latest comedy of errors. We’re talking about the Department of Veterans Affairs, seemingly taking the ‘fore’ out of ‘forebearance’ and adding it to ‘foreclosure’.
It seems they’ve overlooked the small detail that when you send a bunch of our bravest to dodge bullets, mortars, and the occasional canteen of mystery meat, they might just need a little help keeping their homes. Forgiveness is divine, but apparently, so is forgetting to assist the very people who signed on the dotted line to protect Uncle Sam’s ample assets.
The Breakdown
- Bullet Point the First: VA Loans – More Strings Attached Than a Puppet Show
- Surprise! It turns out that VA loans are less ‘We’ve got your back,’ and more ‘We’ve got your back until a global pandemic hits.’ Then, it’s every veteran for themselves. To be fair, the VA did give out forbearance like candy on Halloween. But we all know what happens when the candy’s gone.
- Bullet Number Two: Forbearance Fairy Tales
- This fanciful term, ‘forbearance,’ it’s like a fairy godmother that turns your pumpkin carriage back into a pumpkin right when the foreclosure midnight bell strikes. Poof! There goes your living room, poof! There goes the kitchen, and poof! That should be enough poofing for the VA to poof in and fix this mess.
- Buckshot Three: The Foreclosure Fiery Hoops
- Jumping through fiery hoops? All in a day’s work for our vets, apparently. Someone should tell the VA that the finale of this circus act shouldn’t include losing the safety net. Maybe next time, give ’em a parachute. Or even better, don’t light the hoops on fire.
- Bullet the Fourth: Financial Advice by VA – Don’t Spend It All in One Place
- Here’s a fun idea: Let’s give financial advice to the people we’ve financially sunk. It’s like giving swimming lessons after you’ve thrown someone in the deep end… with weights on.
- Fifth and Final Bullet: Who Needs a Home Anyway?
- Obviously, the ‘home’ part isn’t the essential part of the American Dream. It’s the white picket fence. So long as that’s standing, who cares if there’s a house attached to it?
The Counter
- Counterpoint the First: But the Government Is Trying…Failing, But Trying!
- Let’s give a small round of sarcastic applause for the effort. Here’s to effort without fruition: may it forever be the bread and butter of bureaucracy.
- Sarcastic Salute Number Two: It’s Called Self-Reliance
- Haven’t these vets ever heard of pulling themselves up by their bootstraps? Maybe they can use those bootstraps to tie down their belongings when they’re living on the streets. Convenience!
- Cynic’s Corner the Third: It’s the Market’s Fault, Obviously
- Because having a scapegoat is imperative. Why accept responsibility when you can just blame the invisible hand of the market? It’s not like it has the fingerprints of policy all over it, right?
- Sarcasm Swipe Four: Foreclosures Build Character
- It’s like a gritty reboot of your life. Who doesn’t want to start from scratch after serving their country? With a little bit of foreclosure-induced resiliency, who even needs a credit score?
- Counter-jab the Fifth: It’s an Opportunity for Growth
- We’re all about growth and what’s better for growth than a life rife with unnecessary hardship? Builds grit, and possibly a resentment for government inefficiency. Win-win.
The Hot Take
Listen, I’m just a comedian, but even I know a house of cards when I see one – and I think a stiff breeze is coming. So here’s my ‘hot take’: maybe we should ensure those who march into hell for us don’t come back to a living hell of paperwork and legal loopholes.
How revolutionary is the idea that if we can spend billions on defense budgets, we can spend a fraction of that to keep roofs over the heads of those who protected ours? It’s not just about avoiding foreclosure; it’s about guaranteeing that a VA loan doesn’t become a VA liability. That’s right, take the funds used to design the next fighter jet that doesn’t fly and maybe, just maybe, invest it in a program that doesn’t nosedive when veterans need it the most.
