Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
The Details
Picture this: in an almost comical display of ‘strike-ception’, South Korean doctors have decided to take their stethoscopes and protest signs to the streets. Why? To show their absolute ‘thrill’ at the prospect of having more colleagues to share the limelight (and malpractice lawsuits) with. The government, with what must surely be the best of intentions, has decided to open more seats in med schools. Obviously, because when has increasing the supply of educated professionals ever backfired in the history of ever?
The Breakdown
- Too Many Docs, Too Little Disease: In a world plagued by a woefully insufficient number of maladies, the last thing we need is more doctors. I mean, imagine the chaos if there was a doctor readily available every time you sneezed in public. The horror!
Let’s read between the lines, folks. While the government paints a picture of utopian healthcare, it’s clear that current doctors would rather not have their coffee breaks disturbed by fresh faces.
- The Medical Elite’s Silent Scream: It’s touching to see the medical elite protesting about the watering down of their expert stethoscope wielding. You can almost hear the cries, “But if everyone can play doctor, who will the masses worship?” A valid point, I must concede.
Current physicians argue that the quality of healthcare could deteriorate. Because, as we all know, exclusivity is directly proportional to quality. Just ask anyone with a designer handbag.
- Let’s Make Medicine Great Again:
The docs seem to be nostalgic for the good old days—when becoming a physician was as much about the prestige as it was about healing the sick. And let’s be real, a fancy title and a chance to play golf on Wednesdays don’t mean as much when there are more of you to share the greens.
- Patients, Who Needs ‘Em?:
If more medi-school seats mean more doctors and therefore, more accessible healthcare, then who’s going to reminisce about those good old days spent in overcrowded waiting rooms reading outdated magazines while suffering from a festering wound? Tradition is important, people.
- Strike Now, Heal Later:
They say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but apparently, so does government policy. These doctors are currently practicing the art of ‘preventative striking’—if you strike first, you don’t have to worry about the disease of too much competition later.
The Counter
- Mass Doctoring, For Mass Hysteria: Honestly, what could be better than patients getting a diagnosis from Doctor A, a second opinion from Doctor B, and a tiebreaker from Doctor C? Especially given how everybody absolutely loves going to the doctor.
- Quality Schmality:
Who’s to say a hoard of new doctors won’t bring fresh, innovative ways to tell you that your thirty-second Google search was, in fact, wrong, and you do not have a rare tropical disease? Everyone deserves a chance to crush your web-diagnosed hopes and dreams.
- The Golf Argument:
Let’s consider the possibility that the extra doctors can form their own Golf league. That way no one gets deprived of a Wednesday hole-in-one. Problem solved, and you get your aspirin prescription in record time.
- Romanticizing the Wait:
We mustn’t forget about the magic of the waiting room—the cradle of community where life-long bonds are formed over shared misery and old celebrity gossip. If quick healthcare robs us of this, is it even worth it?
- Strike More, Care Less:
Perhaps striking isn’t the worst. It gives one time to ponder life’s great questions; like if a doctor strikes in a hospital and there is no one to hear, do they make a sound? Or, you know, they could use that time to not solve the problem they’re protesting about.
The Hot Take
Alright, folks, here’s the scorching hot take fresh from the liberal oven. What if—now, just hang onto your HMO paperwork—we fix the problem by not just stopping at med school seats, but actually improving the big bad beast we call healthcare? Invest in training, facilities, and (gasp) maybe even in preventative care? If the pot of doctors overflows, use their brainpower to stir the cauldron of medical research.
Picture a world where you get your diagnosis before your symptoms evolve into something resembling a sci-fi movie extra. So put down the picket signs, pick up the scalpels, and let’s start healing the healers’ woes. Because, let’s be real, the only thing worse than a doctor with a sign is a sign with a cough.
Source: South Korean Doctors Widen Walk Out to Protest More Seats at Med Schools
