Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
In a stunning display of rebel-does-good, Liz Cheney, the most (un)famous defector from Trumpian orthodoxy, has whipped out her gleaming sword of truth—or whatever it is they give you at those stiff GOP luncheons—and has taken a stand in Iowa. Yes, that’s right.
Cheney has drawn a “big crowd”, which in Republican terms could mean anything from a half-filled high school gymnasium to a veritable sea of very concerned citizens adjusting their spectacles and AOL email settings to tune into this maverick’s speech.
But let’s dive deep into what “big crowd” really means and how it fares in the face of the man who claimed to have the biggest of everything—yes, Trump, we haven’t forgotten those inauguration crowd size claims.
The Breakdown
- Begin with a Bang: Cheney draws a “big crowd”
- In what can only be described as the Eighth Wonder of the Modern Political World, Cheney managed to gather humans in a non-virtual space to listen to her speak against Trump. Had we finally mastered human cloning, or was this a result of genuine interest? Stay tuned!
- In what can only be described as the Eighth Wonder of the Modern Political World, Cheney managed to gather humans in a non-virtual space to listen to her speak against Trump. Had we finally mastered human cloning, or was this a result of genuine interest? Stay tuned!
- The Iowa Conundrum: Why are they all here?
- Iowa, known for its corn and caucuses, saw people coming out of their cornfields like a real-life Field of Dreams for anti-Trump conservatism. Only instead of playing baseball, they’re playing “Who can distance themselves the furthest from a one-term president?”
- Iowa, known for its corn and caucuses, saw people coming out of their cornfields like a real-life Field of Dreams for anti-Trump conservatism. Only instead of playing baseball, they’re playing “Who can distance themselves the furthest from a one-term president?”
- Big talk, bigger implications
- Cheney’s anti-Trump stance has had all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop, which has her party cronies subtly inching towards the exit doors. Someone’s likely whispering the old adage, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds,” but Cheney’s opted to not only bite but also chew and spit out.
- Cheney’s anti-Trump stance has had all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop, which has her party cronies subtly inching towards the exit doors. Someone’s likely whispering the old adage, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds,” but Cheney’s opted to not only bite but also chew and spit out.
- Evangelists for the truth or false prophets?
- Liz Cheney, a beacon of truth in a sea of alternative facts, or a GOP siren luring sailors to their doom? Her call for a return to “real” conservative values feels like a throwback to an era that many would argue never existed.
- Liz Cheney, a beacon of truth in a sea of alternative facts, or a GOP siren luring sailors to their doom? Her call for a return to “real” conservative values feels like a throwback to an era that many would argue never existed.
- The 2024 prophecy?
- Our anti-heroine may or may not be considering a run in 2024. Could she be the Harry Potter to Trump’s Voldemort, the one to break the spell of the MAGA mantra? Or is this a Suzerain slide into irrelevance?
- Our anti-heroine may or may not be considering a run in 2024. Could she be the Harry Potter to Trump’s Voldemort, the one to break the spell of the MAGA mantra? Or is this a Suzerain slide into irrelevance?
The Counter
- A “big crowd” in Cheney terms
- A Cheney “big crowd” might just be a family reunion that got out of hand. Let’s be honest, the Cheney clan could fill a stadium if they did a roll call.
- A Cheney “big crowd” might just be a family reunion that got out of hand. Let’s be honest, the Cheney clan could fill a stadium if they did a roll call.
- Iowa: First in corn, first in caucuses, now in… common sense?
- It’s Iowa! Land of… well, it’s Iowa! Known for picking presidents, or at least for bungling the app that counts the votes. Their endorsement is as coveted as a deep-fried stick of butter at the state fair.
- It’s Iowa! Land of… well, it’s Iowa! Known for picking presidents, or at least for bungling the app that counts the votes. Their endorsement is as coveted as a deep-fried stick of butter at the state fair.
- GOP Elephants never forget (or forgive)
- Liz might think she’s leading the charge, but the GOP has a memory like an elephant and forgives like a wolverine. Spoilers: they don’t.
- Liz might think she’s leading the charge, but the GOP has a memory like an elephant and forgives like a wolverine. Spoilers: they don’t.
- What’s old is new again?
- Cheney is heralding a return to traditional conservatism, which in political speak translates to “let’s rewind the clock to a time when our unsavory tendencies weren’t live-tweeted.”
- Cheney is heralding a return to traditional conservatism, which in political speak translates to “let’s rewind the clock to a time when our unsavory tendencies weren’t live-tweeted.”
- 2024: The Longshot or The Lost Cause?
- Thinking Cheney’s the antidote to Trump might be like betting on the Zune to make a comeback against the iPod. It’s bold, baffling, and odds are you’re going to lose that bet.
- Thinking Cheney’s the antidote to Trump might be like betting on the Zune to make a comeback against the iPod. It’s bold, baffling, and odds are you’re going to lose that bet.
The Hot Take
In what can only be considered comedic gold (because we have to laugh to stop from crying), Cheney’s attempts to reclaim the soul of her party seem to parallel teaching a T-rex to knit. It’s a noble effort, but those arms are just too darn short to make the sweater we all need.
The real healing begins with acknowledgment—a recognition that maybe, just possibly, turning politics into a reality TV show wasn’t the best move for the longevity of democracy. Then, like a 12-step program, they can work on making amends. Apologize to the Constitution, send flowers to Lady Liberty, and maybe, just maybe, cut down on the late-night Twitter rants.
So here’s to Liz Cheney, wading through the murky waters of political dismay with the same determination as a liberal trying to explain single-payer healthcare to a libertarian. May her crowds grow from “big” to “huge,” and may her message find fertile ground in a land currently resistant to anything lacking the seal of a red cap.
Sit back, grab your popcorn, and watch the saga unfold, because this fight for the soul of the GOP is going to be a bumpy, irony-laden ride.
Source: ‘Out in force’: Anti-Trump Republican Liz Cheney draws ‘big crowd’ for Iowa speech
