Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Tennessee is at it again folks, flirting with the line between retributive justice and pure medieval at their finest—or should I say their worst? In a move that would make your blood boil—or freeze, depending on how you look at it—the Tennessee Senate has given the old nod to a bill that might soon bring back the good ol’ death penalty, but this time, for individuals convicted of child rape. Yes, you heard that right! Because nothing screams progressive more than an eye for an eye, and apparently, a life for a crime.
The Breakdown
- The Renaissance of the Dark Ages?
- Welcome to Tennessee, where the clock is apparently stuck somewhere between the Spanish Inquisition and when witches were the IT topic of the day. Legislators are so avant-garde, they think maybe bringing back a punishment deemed too brutal for murder might just be the charm for solving complex social issues.
- Welcome to Tennessee, where the clock is apparently stuck somewhere between the Spanish Inquisition and when witches were the IT topic of the day. Legislators are so avant-garde, they think maybe bringing back a punishment deemed too brutal for murder might just be the charm for solving complex social issues.
- Judge, Jury, and Executioner Lite
- Under this shiny new medieval hat trick, jurors in Tennessee could pretty soon have the triple-threat power in child rape cases. It’s a grim day when the Black Mirror episode you watched last night starts looking less dystopian than the evening news.
- Under this shiny new medieval hat trick, jurors in Tennessee could pretty soon have the triple-threat power in child rape cases. It’s a grim day when the Black Mirror episode you watched last night starts looking less dystopian than the evening news.
- Rehabilitation? More Like Re-Dead-ilitation
- Take a seat, rehabilitation and psychological treatment; you’re obsolete in Tennessee’s justice comic book. Why provide systemic support when you can just…execute problems away? Literally.
- Take a seat, rehabilitation and psychological treatment; you’re obsolete in Tennessee’s justice comic book. Why provide systemic support when you can just…execute problems away? Literally.
- DNA? We Don’t Need No Stinking DNA!
- Death sentences without the unequivocal evidence of DNA might just become Tennessee’s new black. Critics argue that wrongful convictions could happen, but hey, in the world of legislative LARPing, what’s a mistake or two among serfs?
- Death sentences without the unequivocal evidence of DNA might just become Tennessee’s new black. Critics argue that wrongful convictions could happen, but hey, in the world of legislative LARPing, what’s a mistake or two among serfs?
- A Swing and a Miss at Deterrence
- If you believe the threat of the executioner’s axe is a mighty deterrent, you might also believe that eating carrots will give you night vision. Studies show that the death penalty isn’t exactly a neon “Keep Out” sign for potential offenders, but legislators seem ready to roll the dice.
- If you believe the threat of the executioner’s axe is a mighty deterrent, you might also believe that eating carrots will give you night vision. Studies show that the death penalty isn’t exactly a neon “Keep Out” sign for potential offenders, but legislators seem ready to roll the dice.
The Counter
- Just Kidding, We Love Big Government
- Here I was, thinking conservatives wanted less government intervention. But when it comes to the most supreme of arbitrations—life or death—who better to trust than ol’ Uncle Sam and state legislators? The bigger, the bolder!
- Here I was, thinking conservatives wanted less government intervention. But when it comes to the most supreme of arbitrations—life or death—who better to trust than ol’ Uncle Sam and state legislators? The bigger, the bolder!
- Frugal Fiscal Hawks or Spendthrift Shoppers?
- Fiscal conservatism just took a U-turn at Albuquerque. Isn’t the death penalty known for being the more “economical” option? Oh wait. No, it’s not—it’s actually more expensive than life imprisonment. But go on, tighten those fiscal belts till we can use them as nooses.
- Fiscal conservatism just took a U-turn at Albuquerque. Isn’t the death penalty known for being the more “economical” option? Oh wait. No, it’s not—it’s actually more expensive than life imprisonment. But go on, tighten those fiscal belts till we can use them as nooses.
- The Power of Second Chances
- Who needs second chances or a fair justice system? If there’s one thing to take away from Tennessee’s legislative genius, it’s that an eye for an eye is the universal problem solver. Worked out so well throughout history, hasn’t it?
- Who needs second chances or a fair justice system? If there’s one thing to take away from Tennessee’s legislative genius, it’s that an eye for an eye is the universal problem solver. Worked out so well throughout history, hasn’t it?
- The Safety Net of Perfection
- With a judicial system as flawless as a discounted parachute, what could go wrong? It’s not like innocent people have ever been convicted before, especially not with matters as usually straightforward as sexual assault cases. Perfection is just a gavel away!
- With a judicial system as flawless as a discounted parachute, what could go wrong? It’s not like innocent people have ever been convicted before, especially not with matters as usually straightforward as sexual assault cases. Perfection is just a gavel away!
- Let’s Get Symbolic
- And what is justice if not a power move— a symbolic gesture to show how tough we are on crime. Concrete results? Pffft. This isn’t a place for policy effectiveness. This is the place for policy theatrics.
- And what is justice if not a power move— a symbolic gesture to show how tough we are on crime. Concrete results? Pffft. This isn’t a place for policy effectiveness. This is the place for policy theatrics.
The Hot Take
Seems that the Volunteer State is volunteering to toss out any notion of modern justice in favor of some gallows-throwback-themed pandering. But hey, if we want to tackle child sexual abuse, maybe we could focus on actual prevention? You know, by funding educational programs that teach consent, respect, and boundaries from an early age. Perhaps invest in support services for survivors, ensuring they receive the care they need. Throw in some comprehensive sex education while you’re at it. But that’s just too logical, isn’t it?
Let’s face it, the death penalty is the conversation-stopper of complex thought. Why delve into the systemic changes needed when you can brandish the sword of Damocles and call it a day? There’s a long history of capital punishment not doing what we so desperately hope it will—fix society. Instead of this deadly game of whack-a-mole, maybe it’s time to invest in healing—from the ground up, not from the noose down.
Source: Tennessee Senate advances bill to allow death penalty for child rape
