Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
In a twist that’s as shocking as finding out your vegan burger is made from real beef, Kellyanne Conway, the queen of alternative facts, has decided to buddy up with David Plouffe, Barack Obama’s former campaign maestro, for a shiny new podcast. Now, if that pairing doesn’t sound like a mismatched episode of The Odd Couple, I don’t know what does. Seriously, folks, when I heard about it, I thought it was an April Fool’s joke stuck in a time loop.
The podcast, which could very well be titled When Worlds Collide, aims to be a bipartisan effort to discuss political strategies. But honestly, it’s like trying to mix oil and water, or maybe vodka and milk – it might not curdle right away, but surely something’s going to turn your stomach sour.
Kellyanne and David coming together is the kind of thing that would make you pause and question: What in the world is going on? Can you imagine the brainstorming sessions between those two? It’s like Beethoven trying to compose a symphony with a jackhammer operator in the background. It’s not just apples and oranges; it’s more like apples and orangutans.
Remember, Conway is known for her steadfast ability to spin anything into—well, I’d say gold, but it’s more like spinning straw into a slightly shinier pile of straw. On the other hand, Plouffe managed to create a campaign that was praised for its precision and effectiveness, almost as clockwork. Now, putting these two together on a podcast about political strategies is like expecting a tornado and a volcano to play nicely. Aren’t strategies based on somewhat adjacent versions of reality?
Listeners to this podcast might experience a new kind of cognitive dissonance. It’s the dissonance that comes from hearing a hardcore strategist like Plouffe entertaining the wizardry words of Conway. I’m not saying it’s impossible to find common ground, but these grounds seem like they’re on different planets!
And just when you think it couldn’t get weirder, buckle up! The show promises not only to dive deep into the mechanics of campaigning but to do so in a way that’s friendly to both sides of the aisle. Is this the real life? Or is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide of Conway’s alternative facts, with no escape from the landslide of real ones. It’s like watching a cat and dog discuss the best techniques for catching mice, or better yet, agreeing on what food is best – and we all know cats are picky eaters while dogs will eat about anything.
This podcast is the perfect fodder for anyone who loves a good train wreck, or just enjoys picking apart the layers of an onion, only to find more onion and eventually tearing up from the sheer absurdity of it all. It’s like preparing yourself for a sophisticated political discourse but ending up with a slapstick comedy routine that even Laurel and Hardy would find excessive.
So, as these two political figures from dramatically different backgrounds try to weave a narrative that can appeal, or at least not repel, both sides of an ever-widening political divide, let’s just say, I’m here for it. Not because I think it’s going to be a seminal moment in political discourse, but because I need something to fill the void between now and the next season of literally any show. Plus, it’s always entertaining to watch fire and ice try to coexist.
Dear listeners, prepare your ears, and maybe keep a drink handy, because this podcast is going to be a bumpy yet laughably intriguing ride.
Source: Kellyanne Conway Teams Up With Ex-Obama Aide And People Are Pissed
